Tagged with sheffield shield

cwb’s eddie cowan wins the shield final

To celebrate Andre Russell being smothered by the loving bosom that is cricket with balls, cricket with balls’ eddie cowan went and won the shield final all by his self.

His innings contained 3 attacking shots and more patience than an Ozu film.

Now, we could go on and on about how great cricket with balls’ eddie cowan is, but that is what you expect.

This is probably not what you expect, but we think eddie will like it.

Well done, Eddie. And anyone else who was less important but still involved.

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the cricket twilight zone

Currently I am in some sort of a cricket haze.

I’ve been trapped in that cricket time zone that only a sick fucker would wilfully expose themselves too.

A cricket twilight zone where everything is happening around me and I’m trying to watch it all.

If you are reading this, I assume that at least once in your life you have done the same. The two test matches showing on the same day but in two different time zones has killed many a fan.

For me, it started for the shield final.  After spending one whole night looking for an illegal feed of the game I ended up just following the ball by ball on cricinfo till late into the night, and swapping that with my iphone and cricket Australia’s site from there on in.

This all became worth it when VICTORIA TOOK A SHEFFIELD SHIELD TROPHY SIZE DUMP on Queensland to win back to fucken back shield victories.  Although on the first night when they were 6/75 I did want to murder them.

Then the Australia Vs New Zealand test started, and being that Sky had spent all their budget on Zimbabwe West Indies, I had to watch it on illegal feeds instead.

Between these two series I was kept up to 2 or 3 am for a day or so, until I started my shifts on test match sofa.

Those tests started at 3am my time.

So my body went from going to bead at 3am, to being fully awake at 3am.

The first night of my commentary I was completely pissed after co-inventing a drinking game around moustaches in the show the First 48.

So drunk, watching one test on TV, watching another on the computer and following the match that meant the most to me via text commentary.

For the small time I am awake in the afternoon I usually watch about 30 minutes of comatose IPL action as well, generally I go back to sleep before I even work out who is playing.

It has been a big couple of days; I know I enjoyed most of it, although I feel like I have been flying around the world as cricket was shown to me on one of those shitty little screens.

I was so tired at one stage I’ll swear I saw an Australian player kiss his sponsor’s badge.

Funny what your mind does to you with no sleep, some alcoholic intervention and not enough sleep.

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Dear James Sutherland,

I know you see yourself as the K-Mart Lalit Modi.  There is no doubt you want to leave your mark on the game of cricket as a modern administracrat that can move and shake with the best of them.  But there are better ways to do this than by taking a dump on something important.

Like you, my career in Shield cricket was tragically shorter than I wanted.  While you got 4 games with the Vics, I played none at all.  This hurts me, so I can imagine that it hurts you too.  But you can deal with heartbreak in better ways than by destroying your old flame.

You’re obviously a modern man.  You’ve probably got a blackberry, an iphone, home and work laptops and a pedometer.  But that doesn’t mean that old things are shit and can be discarded.

James, you and I are not so different.  We both put pants on before leaving the home.  We both love cricket.  We’ve both watched Victoria win a Shield final.

That is where we differ, for me, the Shield Final is the pinnacle, a game of cricket as good as first class cricket can get.  Where two sides play off to prove their worth, the odds stacked in the favour of one side, buy giving 22 players a chance of proving that they are test worthy.

For you it is the wrapping around a Quarter Pounder.

The 2007/08 Final sucked balls for Victoria, but the selectors were watching.  Hughes and Siddle jumped older players, Bryce’s performance put him down the list, Beau Casson got test out of it and Simon Katich proved his rebirth was not some fluke. It was a cracking game of cricket, NSWales at near full strength, Victoria proving they were a hell of a side.  It went 5 days, there was a result, Stuart MacGill told Nick Jewell to stop being a drama queen.

James, how could you deny anyone this?

The shield season is not exactly long at the moment; teams only play 10 games each.  It breaks down like this:

3 in October

8 in November

5 in December

2 in January

6 in February

6 in March

1 final in March

If you can play 6 matches at the start of March, you can play 6 at the end of October. Start the season a week earlier and you could have 8 matches in October and you can scrap the January games.  If you can play 8 in November, you can play 8 in February.  And surely you could fit in a boxing day game once a year, or the day after boxing day. Then it would be:

8 in October

8 in November

6 in December

8 in February

1 final March.

January, when most Australian cricket fans are really interested, becomes your 2020 month.  The rest of the season is for proper cricket.  And March is your final.  Having it at least two weeks earlier than it is now.  No first class cricket is lost, and most importantly, the final is still there.  If you think this is cramming cricket in a bit much, then jettison a few one dayers, have all teams play each other once, and play two sides in their region twice.  If that is even an issue, which I doubt.

The final doesn’t have to go, and neither do any games.  Australian domestic cricketers will play at least 30 days less than their English brethren, and that doesn’t need to change, it just needs to be re-jigged.

Forget being the modern man, the bitter man, or the cut price Australian Lalit man, and just try and do what is best for the game.  And if you think that is cutting the shield season, then perhaps it is you who is not best for the game, and you should trot off into the commercial world to re-brand some breakfast cereal.

Yours truly,

Jrod

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dress conservativly boys

I’ve written about the Sheffield shield getting its name back already.

And who would think I could stretch two posts about it.

But I can.

The name Sheffield Shield is to return, but now it will be known as the Sheffield Shield presented by weet bix.

Think of Cricket Australia as the Weinsteins, the shield as Hero, and Weet Bix as Quentin Tarantino.

Do you follow, I thought so.

Like Tarantino, there is intrigue and more intrigue to weet bix than meets the eye.

Weet Bix is owned by Sanitarium, who is owned by the 7th day Adventists.

I didn’t make this up, look other blogs have mentioned it.

When I found this out a few years ago I stopped eating weet bix, true story.

So why are we giving the Sheffield Shield to a bunch of freaky assed Saturday worshippers who were too weird to remain Protestants?

You have no answer to that, do you Mr Sutherland.

I looked up these 7th day dentists to see what the deal was.

They created Waco, one of their ex members David Koresh was the wacko from Waco way before George Bush was.

They believe you don’t really die, you just fall asleep and never wake up, sort of like watching Michael Klinger bat.

And they believe in a false coming where a Satan will turn up impersonating the messiah, we call that Michael Clarke.

Those are all fine, especially Waco, but they do have some beliefs that may have a serious effect on the Sheffield Shield.

No secular or non essential work or recreation on a Saturday, but cricket Australia can program around that.

They suggest their members abstain from all kinds of meats, alcohol, cigarettes, caffeine and drugs, but their members seem to ignore it, so that shouldn’t be a problem.

And most importantly they do not accept homosexuality, so that player, you know the one, will have to stay in the closet for at least another 5 years.

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Earl gets back on horse

After ten years, Australia’s first class competition is no longer named after milk (good milk, but milk none the less), it will revert to its original name.

Sheffield Shield.

Which is a relief, because I was sick and tired of kiddies looking at me funny when I talked about shield games.

The trophy was named after the Earl of Sheffield, some wanky royal type, who was a conservative politician whom no one would have ever heard of if not for this donation.

The man died at 77 unmarried, and I’m not saying he is gay, but I’m not, not saying it.

Victoria won the first ever Sheffield Shield.

Matthew Elliot is the only player to have ever won 3 player of the year awards.

The most dismissals by a wicket keeper, Chuck Berry.

The highest score by a state 1107, Victoria.

There are all sorts of great stats there.

In the last 12 seasons every team has won, even the rubbish ones, I’m talking to you South Australia.

I’m very excited by the restoration on the name Sheffield Shield, incase you didn’t pick it.

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