Tagged with shaun marsh …

Dec 21 2009
aussies

Pick Ed Cowan

With Ricky Ponting possibly missing the boxing day test, Australia need a replacement.

A few names have been chucked around.

George Bailey. Smiles alot, finally having his break out season.

Shaun Marsh. Used to drink alot, finally making regular runs this season.

Michael Klinger. Makes alot of runs, usually by putting attacks to sleep.

Phil Hughes. Made a hundred recently, against an attack with Andrew McDonald opening the bowling.

Any random NSWales player. Due a cap, Usman to debut against Pakistanis could be tough.

Mark Cosgrove. Is making lots of runs, is eating lots of pizzas.

Mitchell Marsh. Is the talk of the town, has made no FC hundreds.

Adam Voges.  Has no weddings planned, is missing a few runs.

David Hussey. Imagine that, no I can’t.

I am sure all of these players will get someone tooting their horn if Ponting’s arm doesn’t come good.

But fuck them all (sorry FPM).

I think Australia should go in a completely different direction altogether.

They need a cricketer who doesn’t take himself too seriously, one who has made over 500 runs in 6 games this year, one without corporate ambitions, and one who likes You Am I.

The choice is simple.

Smooth Eddie Cowan.

He is now officially sanctioned by cricket with balls.

Mr Hilditch, you may select him, smooth Eddie for Boxing day.

And he isn’t even Victorian.

The ashes book.

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Apr 24 2009
ashes, aussies, poms

Phil does Lords

Today Michael Vaughan went out to Steve Harmison.

It was a confusing day for England.

Not for Australia.

Phillip Hughes played his first game for Middlesex, and the most predictable thing happened.

A hundred.

The boy seems to ooze runs from every available orifice.

Before today no one knew if Phil could play in English conditions.

He could have been a little Michael Clarke or Douggie Waltersesque.

That looks less likely now.

There is a sense of eager overachiever about Phil, I can see him pissing off a great deal of people, sort of like the a young know it all kid who is good at computers and has way too much confidence for his general appearance.

I think I like him though, he seems to make alot of runs, but does it so ugly.

A sportsman needs a weakness for me to like them.

I know I’m sick.

If Phil had a perfect technique, I’d probably hate him.

But for now I like him, even if he is a tad predictable.

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Apr 18 2009
IPL

The Ultimate IPL Guide: Kings XI Punjab

Classically attractive, but unsexy.

Porn star: Yuvraj Singh

Showed all the captaincy instincts of a squirrel last series. But the fans and cameras love him. Will look cool a lot, but maybe not much more.

Pole Dancer: Shaun Marsh

Was the best batsmen of the first tournament, will be in Pakistan for a time, but once he is back he gives the Kings a spine.

Boy Next Door: Piyush Chawla

Another legspinner, but more of an absurdist straight breaker. Very hard to get away and should be a major strike weapon for the Punjabi kings.

Model: Brett Lee

Chance he wont play, but really wasn’t that much of a figure last season anyway. If he plays the South African pitches will help him. Will be desperate to impress.

Home Made/Amateur: Burt Cockley

Fast bowling NSWales nobody with a great name.

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Apr 13 2009
aussies

Australia’s one day juggernaut rolls on

The special form that Australia’s one day side have shown of late has finally landend them, temporarily, the second spot on the ICC ladder.

It is well deserved.

Mike Hussey given as long as he wants to regain form.

Fast bowlers rested so often no one remembers who the third seamer is.

Michael Clarke opening the batting while Shaun Marsh is fit.

A batting order that doesn’t seem to know its place.

The bowlers complete disregard for yorkers, and their lust for full tosses.

Batting so brittle even a Botha can take it down.

And finally a renewed vigor in dropping chances.

It takes alot to pull this off, but the Australian one day side is now proper ordinary.

They will win games, and they will lose games, but next world cup they aren’t defendind their title, they are in the pack fighting for it like all the other pleb sides.

Should be fun.

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Oct 23 2008
Uncategorized

hard to find a man

Australia hadn’t played a test when Byrce McGain was sent home.

Phab Phil Jaques was sent home without any real fanfare.

And now The Perfect Boyfriend, Jacob Oram, the key to New Zealand’s test win is going home.

Add in Stuart Clark’s elbow and the fact Chris Martin, everyone’s favourite guy who looks like a date rapist but is a swell fella, didn’t even make the trip.

Are White players this afraid of Darker nations that they will purposefully injure themselves.

Obviously.

Oram’s injury is his lower back, this would imply that he bent it, we know better.

Jaques injury was his back, this was from imitating the Krab Katich in the nets.

Shaun Marsh has been sent over to replace Jaques.

New Zealand would love to have a player of Shaun Marsh’s calibre as a replacement.

They would love to have a player of his calibre.

They would love to have a player available to send over of any calibre.

They would love players.

They would love a population.

Things have got desperate.

New Zealand has put up an ad in the Wellington Daily Gazette Mail.

Country seeking international cricketer:

The ideal player is someone who cares about others, is able to start things off slowly and defer to Brendan for photo shoots.

Must be: prepared to wear whites, have a knowledge of cricket, looking for a long term commitment, still considers themselves kiwi or willing to pretend or do the accent from time to time, submit to a physical by Ian Smith, likes flight of the conchords, BBM accepted, GSOH and must like Water sports.

Must not be: cops, better than Brendan, not be signed to rebel leagues or English leagues on contracts that can’t be broken, a Marhsall.

Turn ons: draws, one dayers, South African professionals, spinners who become batsmen, the IPL, and glasses.

Turn offs: 4 or 5 test series, specialist openers, anyone too quick, wrist spinners batsmen who show off with averages over 45.

We’ve been hurt before so we want to be sure that I’m completely ready and totally trust a person before we get too involved. We are also looking for someone who likes to travel, but mostly to the white safe countries.

Uniform provided, coach is not.

So far they have received 214 applications, all from M Sinclair.

The search continues.

Return to frontpage

www.cricketwithballs.com… We constantly get sodomized down the legside
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Jun 01 2008
general balls

I’m like Shaun Marsh, and not just the drinking

According to world renowned sports writer Nigel Henderson, who wrote, “If It Was Raining Palaces, I’d Get Hit By The Dunny Door” and “Choke”, I am comparable with Shaun SOS Marsh.

Shaun Marsh (see Fanfare for a common man) may be being unfairly overlooked by Australia’s selectors, but there is another Aussie that people should be paying attention to. His name, apparently, is JRod.

My name is Jrod, apparently.

But I am not just like Shaun Marsh in the fact I haven’t been called up to the majors.

We have other things in common.

Both of our fathers were legends.

Swampy, opening the batting for Australia.

PK, opening the bowling for Campbellfield and North Carlton.

Shaun Marsh once got suspended for drinking too much.

I used to get suspended all the time.

Both of our fathers were successful coaches.

Swampy, for Australia.

PK, for Campbellfield under 14′s, and under 16′s.

Shaun is Australian.

I am Australian.

Shaun Marsh likes cricket.

I like cricket.

True story.

www.cricketwithballs.com… We constantly get sodomized down the legside
Tagged
May 29 2008
Uncategorized

the slide

Recently much has been made of Australia’s slide.

Most of this is because of Stuart MacGill’s new found ability not to land his leg break.

Also Mitchell Johnson and his line 3 foot wide of off stump.

Plus their sick reliance on Matthew Hayden.

And let us not forget Michael Clarke’s dodgy form in pressure situations.

I wrote this recently, and this, ages ago.

But, in how many countries would a player like Shaun Marsh not be good enough to be picked in their top 8 batsmen.

And realistically, David Hussey would still be ahead of him on the list, so Marsh may not even be in Australia’s top 9 batsman.

We the people, all know this is rubbish, and that he should be currently preparing to open for Australia ahead of the krab katich.

Or at least be carrying the drinks and trying some rum instead of Brad Hodge.

But it does show the amazing depth that Australia still has, even without the champions at the top.

Shane Watson is probably the best performed player in the IPL, if Marsh isn’t, and he is not in Australia’s one day squad.

Both David Hussey and Luke Pomersbach have been less dominant than Marsh and Watson, but they have both payed innings that have showed they belong.

You may ask where are the young Australian bowlers.

Well Brett Geeves got spanked every time he got a gig.

And almost every other young Australian bowler is a physical basket case, but Peter Sizzle (Siddle), and Douggie Bollinger take wickets on one leg.

But Marsh still stands out. Not just because of the runs he has made, or the strike rate he has maintained, but because he hasn’t slogged.

He has kept his technique, and he has batted like a serious batsman type batsman, which means he may turn out to be a real player on the international circuit.

Want more than IPL proof, well the English sports writers are already worried about him for the Ashes.

Ok the English are always worried about the Ashes, but in Marsh, they have just cause.

And by 2013 Shaun’s little brother Mitchell will be in England, probably batting at number 3.

Cricket With Balls, monitoring the demise of Australia one MacGill long hop at a time.

www.cricketwithballs.com… We constantly get sodomized down the legside
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May 02 2008
Uncategorized

Welcome to the future

Welcome to the future, Welcome to the future..

Get into the new speed (Rohit Sharma), Get into the enemy(Shaun Marsh)…

Mass communication (IPL)

So what’s the occupation? (Blogger) (what’s your dedication? (5AM))

Welcome to the future, Welcome to the future…

Talking about the old times (tests), Scared about the new times (2020)…

Does anybody know you?(not yet) (will anybody need you? (you bet)),

Can anybody please you?(afridi?) (does anybody have to? (IPL)),

Welcome to the future, Straight into to the future

OK I’m not sure why i picked that, but i copied it down at 5amski, and at the time it seemed really relevant.

Now, not so much.

But what i was trying to say is, Sharma and Marsh looked the shizzle last night.

Sharma held up his batting order, and then he he just made al the turns as well.

Shaun Marsh played such a rock steady innings that you would have to doubt he had any nerves coming in.

Sharma, and i thought this during the one day series in Australia, has to be a permenant member of India’s one day make up.

Him Gotham City Gambhir and Uthappa are the real deal.

Shaun Marsh has surprised me a little, it wasn’t that long ago he couldn’t get a full time gig in WA.

And he liked the booze a little.

Now he looks like a ready made opener at international level.

It will be interesting to see whether Australia opts with him or Hopes at the top of the order in the Caribbean.

www.cricketwithballs.com… We constantly get sodomized down the legside
Tagged ,
May 01 2008
Uncategorized

5:16am

I just finished watcing the extreemly delayed telecast of Shaun Marsh destroy Deccan.

The Kings Punjab, my mob, fianlly put Geoffreys boy out on the ground and he took complete control.

I have always said the kid can bat, read here, but I wasn’t sure he was ready.

He is ready.

How ready, ready ready.

Yeah.

I recently trotted over to Well Pitched to tell them the boy can bat.

And he can.

He bat’s really good.

Really.

His backfoot shots were amazing.

I saw him hold WA together against the Vics this year, but this was different, this was an innings of complete control.

There are other things that happened in the game, but none of them matter at 5:16 in the AM.

They can wait till this afternoon.

www.cricketwithballs.com… We constantly get sodomized down the legside
Tagged
Apr 01 2008
Uncategorized

The other ozzie newbies

OK so I have already ranted about Beau Casson’s NSWales quota selection and beamed about Future Pm’s selection, but surprisingly I still have more to say about a tour that is going to be a non event.

Now I can move on to the rest of the new selections.

Ashley “matrix” Noffke, not quite sure where he fits in to the scheme of things for actual selection. But for me he simply had to be picked. This season he had the second best all round results in the history of State cricket.

I am just glad he is now playing awesome against all states like he has always done against Victoria, cause frankly I was sick of being picked on. It will be interesting to see what the plans for this man are, but the way he is playing now, Haddin at 7 and him at 8 is a nice new combination.

Simon “the krab” Katich, was a man I could do without ever seeing play for Australia again. He has had so many chances, he has never consistently performed, and I don’t like the way he bats. This year he has made a kabillion runs beating the record of another man who just could not make it at test level, Michael Bevan.

Bevan could not make it at this level because of technique. The krab is in the same caravan. I do believes he deserves his selection into the squad, but I hope like hell he never gets picked.

Ben Hilfenhaus, don’t let the fact I’m about to bag him confuse you, this guy can bowl. But this year he played half fit, under done, before a one day game at the G, I saw him go under medical procedures that I had only previously seen Mr Burns go through.

Last year the man was the best first class bowler in Australia, this year he is made of liquid cheese.

Shaun Marsh (one day sqaud), is the son of the grinding Geoffrey Marsh. And was earmarked for Australian duties as an infant. His selection in this squad seems a little odd, but it may have been as a potnianl replacement for Gilly as opener if the rest fail.

This boy is a serious batsman type batsman, and he is a ten year player but just not sure if he is ready right at the moment.

Cameron White (one day squad), is here to replace the tongue. I have long argued that when all is said and done he is a better cricketer than the tongue, lets see if he can prove me right.

Oh and Michael Clark was named Vice Captain, because well, I have no idea why, but he was.

I’m sure I have something to say about that.

www.cricketwithballs.com… We constantly get sodomized down the legside
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