Tagged with sachin tendulkar

Eoin’s freakshot

Eoin Morgan just played the most amazing shot I have ever seen.

Doug Marillier and his scoop are out.

KP and the switch-hit look lame.

I am not sure what this one could even be called.

Essentially he set himself up for the reverse sweep, without changing his hand position or leg position.

As he went to sweep, with his right leg forward (he is a cack hander) and the ball was put down his leg side, which was now sort of his off side, and he obviously thought it was too much of a stretch to play the reverse sweep.

What happened next was pure freak show.

Morgan readjusted his shot and while still standing in this side on left foot forward stance, he played the ball to short fine leg with a backwards straight bat flick drive.

It only went for a single, but the fact that he played it, and did it like he was playing a normal shot was… something.

Geraint Jones wasn’t even watching where the ball went, he was just staring at Eoin like he had just seen a Giraffe dressed as a human whistling show tunes jumping on a trampoline.

He middled a ball facing the wrong way with a straight bat.

This wasn’t a guide, scoop or deflection, all of which he does a lot, this was a reverse backwards wrist drive.

I doubt anyone else will play it, I can’t think of any player outside of Sachin Tendulkar who could.

You need wrists made of rubber, and an eye like Sachin’s to even think of playing it.

I also assume it helps if you are 130* at the time.

Robert Croft described it as something you would pay a tenner to see it at a circus.

Fair call.

EDIT: Lauren has alerted us to it on youtube (already?)

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The return of the Fake IPL Player

For the latest developments in the Fake IPL Player Saga click here.

You can’t keep the fakester down.

He is back baby.

I thought he was in Sachin’s bunker having his testicles separated from his body, but that may not be the case.

Probably not one of his better articles.

The most interesting part is the timing, while Ranadeb Bose is actually on the field.

It doesn’t mean much, you can set up a timer on blogger or someone else could be posting, but poetic timing nonetheless.

The good news is that he is back, because that fucken dog Bruno has been missing for way too long now.

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Old Dogs

Prince Brendon may have started last years IPL with a full frontal assualt on the crowd, but this year the old dudes and an untouchable dog started us off.

Sachin chipped away a 50 odd.

Hayden followed that up by top scoring for the sooper dooper kings.

Next game the old guys really came out.

Rahul (still not a 2020 player, but still classy when his team is falling apart) top scored and pretty much kept Bangalore from collapse.

Warne was probing like a motherfucker too, some of his balls wouldn’t have looked out of place in his best of.

Anil didn’t like being overshadowed and popped in with 5 wickets as the tail fell apart.

The cricket was scrappy, there was always something in it for the bowlers, a great collapse by last year’s champsions and a leg spin master class.

It was a proper cricket day, with 10 minute ad breaks.

Jesse looks hot in red as well.

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The Ultimate IPL Guide: Mumbai Indians

The attractive royal

Porn star: Sachin Tendulkar

Proved in New Zealand that there is still a little flair in the old fella.

Pole Dancer: Harbhajan Singh

Will probably not slap any players this year, as that put a dent into IPL last year. A class bowler and should have a good tournament.

Boy next door: Zaheer Khan

You never know which Khan will turn up, Chaka or Genghis. In career best form, and if he can keep it up will get them off to some great starts.

Home made/Amateur: Graham Napier

He is so famous he has his own website. So he must be good. Huge slogger handy bowler, will get a few games to prove, or not, his worth.

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Myths & Facts from India’s jaunt to New Zealand

Sportsfreak takes a look through the series.

So the Indians will be boarding their jumbo about now, and for the final piece of excitement will be undergoing a take-off into a Wellington gale. Their fans will be cleaning their whiteboards in preparation for more normal use, and the rest of us look back on our brief time in the same playground as the big boys.

Obviously, there was going to be a lot of hype surrounding this tour; after all the test batting line-up boasted something like 107 test centuries before the series started, and constantly added to that over the last 3 weeks.

And we got to see first hand the likes of Tendulkar and Dravid for the last time, and Dhoni and Ishant for the first time, and were able to notice the difference in attitude and swagger between the two.

So we look at some of the theories that were floated before and during the series and see if they are fact or some hybrid of Indian Myth and Lord of the Rings special effects.

Tests in NZ in April do not work
Myth actually.

People will point to the fact that the April test ended with rain, but that only kicked in with 3 hours left in the match; that’s not bad for New Zealand. April, comparatively, is reasonably reliable.

And the tests were certainly less affected than the ODIs in February/ March.

Light was clearly an issue after the daylight saving change, but that was more of a management issue.

Dhoni is an attacking captain
Well some of his bowling changes are inspirational, and no more so than bringing Tendulkar on during the last day at the Basin.

But that declaration in the same test can always be held up as the perfect example that he can be as cautious as a shell-shocked Ponting.

He lets Harbhajan talk him into defensive field placings too.

Ryder is too fat for test cricket
Ha ha. Myth. A big fat myth too Adam.

He does have a weakness against top quality spin early on, but he’ll sort that out soon.

Yuvraj is rubbish outside of the Sub-continent
Absolute fact.

He was miserable here, apart from a couple of meagre cameos with the pressure off.

And remember this was on placid pitches against an ordinary attack.

Ishant Sharma is the Real Deal and the Final Product
Not yet he’s not. Despite what last year promised.

He had one good spell in Hamilton, and then roughed up Vettori at the Basin.

But in between times he looked more sulky than anything else. He perfected the act of hiding in the outfield in Napier when things got tricky, and he certainly didn’t seem to take to the Wellington wind.

Totally outplayed by the underrated Zaheer all series.

McCullum isn’t the batsman he was a year ago
Myth.

That was probably his most consistent series as a test batsman. A shocking dismissal in the first innings in Hamilton was followed by composed knocks afterwards. His maturity in batting with O’Brien in the second innings of that match was class, and he held his head well in Napier.

At the Basin he got stuck with O’Brien again, and was sawn off in the second innings. Will probably be tried at #6 in the near future, which is about the only spot in the order where he has not been used yet.

Superb keeping too.

Taylor needs time to adjust from ODIs to tests.
Fact. Fact. Fact. Contrast the push across the line on the first morning in Hamilton with the 2nd innings resistance at the Basin.

Imagine what he could do in a 5 test series.

Harbhajan is a wind-up artist
True. And a very good one at that.

He didn’t get under the skin of the New Zealanders like he did with the Australians last year, but he sure wound the commentators up.

Note how he does well in the questionable umpiring decision stakes too. Not a coincidence.

Sehwag plays all forms of the game in exactly the same way
Myth. He bats for longer in T20s and ODIs.

Vettori is not the test bowler he used to be
Fact. And a pretty old fact at that.

If you want proof, get a video of him bowling on the 4th morning in the Basin, and then watch Tendulkar bowl 24 hours later.

It’s toe-curling stuff, and it’s even worse to hear certain radio commentators air the myth that he is a world-class spinner.

The World will miss Tendulkar
Fact.

Sad but true.

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Who do you believe?

Sachin Tendulkar believes the current Indian batting line up is the best he has ever been in.

Sourav Ganguly thinks this is not the best one day side ever.

Rediff are writing this up as a disagreement.

This is fine, but aren’t they arguing two different points.

Sachin is saying this is the best batting line up he has played in.

Sourav is saying this is not the best side ever.

How is this an argument?

It’s probably not, but for fun, let’s take Sachin’s side anyway.

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Christchurch; you’ve been so very bad.

This was a dirty run orgy.

The crowd were titillated, enthralled, excited and had sixes all over them

Each bowler was molested, bent over and stroked.

The commentators shrieking, screaming and ever so effusive in praise when it had ended.

Sachin was front and centre for a lot of this, the blue rinse (and shirt) set were giddy in anticipation.

With every flash of his blade he took his score closer to the ODI’s ultimate fetish item, the double ton.

Unfortunately with all that lunging and improvisation he could not maintain it for the time that was needed.

The young men all contributed to the excitement, just for not as long, but everyone was disappointed that Sachin was caught short with a torn torso.

The crowd new they had a big surprise coming though, as they don’t come much bigger than Jesse.

The large member of the Kiwi side came out swinging.

He hit the ball hard and long, to all corners of the ground.

Christchurch has never seen such a spanking display.

It was way too kinky for Vettori to even turn up.

Sure the end petered out, but like all good sessions, the bowlers knew they were well and truly fucked.

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Modi wins again

According to this Sachin is out of the ICL match.

Thank fuck for that.

Imagine Sachin being a rabies infected terrorist, that would make him way too interesting.

Well done Lalit, you have won the day, and denied some young New Zealanders the chance to see Sachin.

If that doesn’t make you proud, what would.

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Is Sachin a terrorist, or does he have rabies?

We all know that the ICL is evil.

Playing in it either means you get rabies or become a terrorist.

It’s a potent mother fucker.

So potent that the BCCi doesn’t let its players into club games, and wont let Indian players sign for sides where ICL players are signed.

But they have fucked up.

Big time.

Huge.

Sachin Tendulkar is to play with Hamish Marshall today.

Yes Hamish Marshall of Royal Bengal Tigers fame.

While the obvious and correct decision would be to kill Hamish Marhsall before the days play in this masters union classic that I and spotsfreak have single handedly raised awareness of, the BCCi may not have any of their hitman over for this tour, their spare cash is having a plane loaded with fuel in every city they are playing at incase they get a rotten umpiring.

So they either have to over turn their decision to let Sachin play.

Or risk his safety.

It’s a tough call.

I hope your memories of Sachin are set in stone, because soon he is going to start smoking in the toilets very soon.

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Paul rubs it in

How do you know you are really struggling against England?

Paul Collingwood makes runs.

India would not have planned for that.

Who would?

This is probably how the team meeting went.

Dhoni: Any plans for their batsmen?

Sachin: I think for Strauss, we should try bowling wide of off stump and tempting him, and changing that with odd fast straight one. With Cook perhaps short balls, and try and keep him pinned down when our spinners come into the attack. For Bell we should restrict his singles and make him face 6 balls in an over. With Kevin I think the best bet is too bowl 2 feet outside off stump and pack the field with short overs and catching men and don’t even get close to feeding his strength. For Freddy the spinners should come on early, and then have an in out field.

Dhoni: Wow, that is pretty thorough.

VVS: Except you forgot Collingwood.

Sachin: Who.

VVS: Paul Collingwood, bats at 5.

Sachin: Oh that ginger fucker, fuck him, he’s a fucken useless cunt, I didn’t even know he was in the side, I mean he can’t bat worth a turd in hell, why the fuck would they even bring him over, do they have a quota for shit cunts in their team or something. I mean fucken hell man, he is an “a” class spazz, and he has fucken red hair, I mean come on, we aren’t really planning on how to get him out, just bowl anyone for fucks sake. Paul fucken Collingwood, serioulsy.

Dhoni: Ooooook, right then, anyone else, Virender?

Sehwag: It’s alright it’s ok.

So it’s Sachin’s fault.

Ofcourse

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