Tagged with pak vs nz

fingers, an old man and a teen

There was a “teenager” and his older brother.

A comeback kid.

A former captain.

A current captain.

A blogger with a fucked up finger.

And 32 runs.

While the world was watching the big three in action (Australia, India and England), the working class side and the team without a home fought out a proper piece of test cricket.

I saw highlights, and not many.

Sky showed the big three, but this test, and its excitement were not on show.

I don’t know how much pain was in IOB’s eyes. I don’t know how many nails Vettori bit. I can’t tell you whether Umar Akmal had a tear as he walked off. And I can’t tell you how close it felt to the fans who were watching it.

But I am sure it was good for cricket.

A test match coming down to the witching hour.

Two evenly matched teams clawing at each other’s throats.

Collapses, comebacks and teen dreams.

I wish I had seen the fucker.

Now let us all hope that IOB’s finger comes good so he can give us all the details of his heroism.

Oh, and I may have forgotten to say this earlier, but that guy with the sore finger wrote a chapter in my book.

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New Zealand beat Pakistan before a ball is bowled

It takes a mentally strong team to win a game of cricket before they get out on the field, and Daniel Vettori’s band of men may be tough enough.

New Zealand have already come up with a strategy so out of the box, daring, and genius blue-sky thinking that other captains must be jamming their keys into their thighs.

It boils down to two facets.

Plan A, New Zealand lose:

“In the unfortunate circumstance that we lose their test against Pakistan, the captain, coach or selector (all Dan) will claim that Pakistan only won because they tampered with the ball.  Even if it doesn’t reverse swing.  Any collapses or bad batting should be blamed on ball tampering (chucking if the spinners do us in). This will give us the moral victory, and will save us face.  Perhaps get some right wing  guys fired up about Muslims being untrustworthy to really sell it”.

Plan B, New Zealand win:

“If we somehow manage to win against Pakistan people will just assume it was match fixing. So let us spin that, and straight after the victory we will claim they were match fixing, but that they were only doing it because they knew they couldn’t beat us and decided to cash in. Win, win. Perhaps get some right wing  guys fired up about Muslims being untrustworthy to really sell it”.

While Vettori came up with these plans, they have gone over very well with the marketing people, especially those who are tired of claiming the Plunket shield was simply restored to its original name, and not because they couldn’t find anyone to sponsor it.

New Zealand cricket needs a shot in the arm, and perhaps Dan and his guaranteed wins might be just what the need.

Pakistan doesn’t stand a chance.

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