People have never used the word moxy to describe Kane Williamson, mostly because they don’t use that word much anymore. Kane’s brief career has had innings of moxy involved, not big bad innings that make people weep, but just innings with a touch of moxy. His bowling is clearly a chuck. Now what he wants to do in his career is either learn to turn his innings from moxy to monumental, or never take a big haul of wickets so that the opposition get angry enough to mention that he chucks. Right at the moment his action resembles a young kid who is learning to throw darts, people have noticed it, they just don’t care yet. Can blow bubbles in gum while waiting for the bowler to come in. There is something about his forehead.
cricket with balls
just another bullshit cricket blog
Tagged with new zealand player profiles …
balls profile: kyle mills
Has the unique ability to be the world’s number one ODI bowler while still being unknown to his closest friends. If you are discussing him with people it is best if you don’t use his name but actually just mention the guy with the hair of a greek wrestler. His bowling action is perhaps the neatest bowling action in world cricket, and it then propels length balls at a moderate pace that swing just a touch. Has played for two IPL sides without anyone noticing. Writes pulp crime novels in his spare time.
balls profile: Jacob Oram
If a sign of greatness was being able to make Ian Smith orgasm at the mere mention of your name, there would be no greater player than Jacob Oram. Places his medium pace on the pitch not known to most men his size, hits the ball hard when it is placed in his hard to find hitting zone. There was a time when he was so prepared to prove how tough he was he considered cutting his own finger off to play in a world cup, he didn’t, the big softy. Has been called the perfect boyfriend for his hard on the outside look but soft on the inside nature. Cut in front of my wife at the hotel buffet once. In that order he asked for two wraps, one with chips, one without.
balls profile: Daryl Tuffey
Spent a couple of years playing ICL cricket, few people noticed. Is the sort of guy people say things like, “if he was only a little bit faster” about. Has the skills of an opening bowler, but the face of a friendly PE teacher. Has recently started batting as well, it is only a matter of time before he opens the batting for New Zealand. Has a better record than you would think with the ball, but you don’t think about him, no one does, you’ve been reading this for less than a minute and you already have to look at the title twice to remember who this profile is for. I’ve never met him, but I think he would be nice. He has kind eyes.
balls profile: Martin Guptill
A long lost relative of Roger Ramjet, Guptill has a jaw that a small South American village could be re-located to. Guptill is the sort of player that just when you decide he is utter shit he plays a brilliant shot off a top bowler to change your mind. Then he goes out, and you want to give him a hug. If you put a knotted sweater around his neck he would look like he should be in some film about Harvard or Yale. Due to a forklift accident he lost three toes. He doesn’t like it when you race up to him,take his shoes off and rub them. Sadly.
balls profile: Tim Southee
Played such a good first game that he was offered a part in a Peter Jackson film. He is now up on charges of theft by deception. After the ball stops swinging all you are left with is those magnificent teeth. Is currently a better batsman than Chris Martin. NZC have still not decided if Tim is the prodigal son or the black sheep. Others don’t care.
