They gave him hair.
God doesn’t need hair.
cricket with balls
just another bullshit cricket blog
Tagged with ms dhoni …
$ex, cricket blogs and the press agencies
I can only think the world press agencies are doing us a favour by not writing bland cliché stock standard cricket articles is a good thing.
I mean press agencies don’t really write anything interesting.
They don’t mention how they wanna have sex with Natalie Portman.
They don’t talk about how Brett Lee might tear his hamstring off the bone trying to beat his career worst figures.
They don’t go into analysis of Dhoni’s hair.
They don’t mention how Australians are b@stards.
They don’t talk about Basit Ali.
They don’t mention how much they hate Shane Watson.
They can’t put sex in the title or pictures of hot chicks for no other reason than they are filthy perverts like us bloggers are.
Dhoni and his pants
After this series between the aussies and the Indians I think sreesanth, Roy and haydos should sit down and talk about fishing, cooking and I don’t know something sreesanth likes, boxing?
Then a group hug I think.
Seriously fellas none of us are taking this series seriously, why are you?
Ofcourse the truth is this series does mean shit, but it’s not the series these angry young men are playing for. To put it simply, the Indians want to move in on the Aussies turf, and the Aussies are planning on defeating the Indians before the test series starts in Melbourne.
This series is taken about as seriously as the Golden Globes, but every one wants to win the Globe so they can be the front runner for the Oscar.
Lets break down the 3 innings so far.
Dhoni’s captaincy was looking awesome, then Australia put pressure on his bowlers and he looks more like Stephen Fleming now, looking for people to fill holes everywhere. Now he needs more arms than Krishna (first Hindu reference).
Haddin, Hayden and Roy are looking pretty good. Hodge is a weakness but will be replaced shortly. Maybe Australia should look at brining MacGill back, so he and Sreesanth can have hissy fits together.
The Indian top order looked good, but suddenly the old men have shifted the balance. Their walking frames are slowing the Indians down in the field too.
The Indian bowling was their main weapon in the 2020. Now they have been dismantled twice in a row, the fast bowling Singh looks a but intimidated, Sreesanth is going to far, attacking the aussies is great, giving them shit balls to attack you back on is your problem. Even Nel knows that.
So Australia is winning the battle so far. India will re group though, Sreesanth will learn to curb himself, Singh will bowl some good spells and maybe even the batting line up will learn to bat with the old dudes.
Problem is for India. Australia are still not full strength, you don’t wanna get pantsed in your home country by anyone just after you win your first major piece of silverware since Dev’s mullet was cool. Especially since Hussey, Rick, Watson and Bracken haven’t been a presence here.
Dhoni may come out of this series ok, that isn’t his problem however. His problem is when he gets to Australia, down here we are vicious on touring captains, we have destroyed many a leader of cricket sides. And without McGrath and Warne we will be even more abusive, domineering and downright annoying to Dhoni.
Hopefully Dhoni is not next.
Australia vs India Match 2
I have to be honest and admit that I didn’t see much of the second one dayer between Australia and India as the match started at 1pm eastern standard time in Australia. Unfortunately, some of us have to work for a living!! Having said that I am glad I had to work.
I managed to catch the gripping conclusion as Damien Fleming made a pretty strong case that India could still win although they needed 8 an over off the last twelve with 3 wickets in hand and Dhoni the only guy capable of holding a bat left at the wicket.
Very disappointing day for the game of cricket when the most noteworthy events that made highlight packages were the ugly confrontations between several members of both sides……who will remain nameless…….
Reminded me of many other matches between Australia and sub continental sides that have turned nasty. I hope I am wrong, but there seems to be a trend. Whether Australia is still viewed by the rest of the world as just your average tall poppy that needs slashing or is it the fact India have just come off a major international tournament win (I’m still not convinced it counts) and may have been viewed as a rising threat that needed some mental manipulation before the Australian summer by the Aussies. Would be interested in your views out there in Uncle J-Rod land…….
None the less, this match just reinforced my point of a blog ago that these sort of contests don’t do anything for anyone associated with the game. India batted poorly and unfortunately Sachin failed again and he would be advised to put in a phone call to Chris Grant………
The game had a fitting end as Dhoni refused singles to expose Sreesanth to the strike, something I haven’t seen in one dayer…….particularly when they needed 10 an over. To seal the deal he nearly killed Sreesanth with a slog down the ground and the farce was completed as Gilchrist showed more concern for Sreesanth’s helmet than he did the individual.
Bottom line – save the niggly agro crap for the first morning of the First Test in November when there is something actually on the line.
Monday night I witnessed the first half of the first one dayer between England and Sri Lanka and was pleased to see the stunning form of one of all time favourite non Australian players Sanath Jayasuriya. What a freak he is at 38. Made a typical Jayasuriya 41. Set the platform for what can only be described as restrained, pedestrian 269 from the time Jayasuriya was out. Disappointing considering the bowling was moderate to say the least. No Flintoff and Broad is still very raw and finding his feet at this level.
England was England and capitulated for 159 (luckily I didn’t have to witness this as I went to bed) although a noteworthy debut was made by England’s keeper, a guy named Mustrard……..yep…….Mustard, who put in a tidy effort behind the stumps and contributed some spunk at the top of the order before he was out for a 30 odd off 20 balls. The walkers came in next (Bell and Collingwood) and that must have been that…..
Keep an eye out bloggers for what sounds like the makings of an interesting Test in Pakistan were South Africa are taking on the home nation at the moment.
Uncle J-Rod…….I am too intrigued by Dinnie………
Pakistanis, Germans and Indians, oh my.
I must admit firstly that I missed India’s innings. Since Dhoni and Singh didn’t make any runs I’m not really that concerned with missing it.
I was playing indoor cricket with a German dude who had never played cricket before. His bowling action was about 45 degrees worse than Murali’s, he batted like a drunken hockey player and was practically running 3 seconds before the ball was released. It was quite a sight, and was probably more entertaining than India’s batting.
Anyway this is my musings as I watched Pakistan’s innings.
The Indian opening bowlers were good, then shit, then awesome, then shit again, and then saved by a run out. Dhoni must have been confused. Michael Slater was, not about the cricket, just about life in general.
Singh the fast bowling one, started off with cracking first over. Then bowled Akmal in his second over with a ball so good it would have got Steve Waugh out. Akmal is good but he is no Steve. He followed it up with a shocking over that let Pakistan off the hook.
Sreesanth’s first over was like a scene from saw. His second was more like a Natalie Portman film, (a very tight maiden).
I love listening to Nasser Hussain commentate on captaincy. It makes me think I should write blogs on how to have long and healthy relationships. Both things me and Hussain have great track records at. Hussain made the comment that both teams have played like their captains, with flair and attractive attacking cricket. Is that why under Nasser, England played drab cricket and just weren’t really any good.
That said Dhoni’s captaincy is great. He has kept India in this, Pakistan don’t like pressure. Mind you why does Dhoni wear a helmet when he is standing back to fast bowlers? I can’t help but think its something to do with his hair. Thoughts, comments?
They just showed some Bollywood actor and the crowd went wild. I hate bollywood films. Too much singing and holding hands, give me violence and sex any time.
Shahid Afridi, favourite shot, anywhere for six. Result second ball duck. Damn I hate watching him fail.
Pathan bowled amazingly well, it’s hard to believe he hasn’t been playing for the proper side much recently.
Dhoni has to get so much credit for this, he has placed really clever fields used his bowlers really well.
While watching Yasir Arafat I can’t help but think there is Israeli snipers in the grand stand waiting for the order.
Shit there are sixes everywhere now. Pakistan are giving this one more crack. A long hard crack. That was for Tony Greig.
Is it just me or are the stumps in this tournament spring loaded to jump out of the ground upon contact?
13 off the last over and India start with a wide. Then Ul Haq swings hard and nothing. Next ball six. Wow. Waist high full toss. Not great. Did I hear right the spinning Singh had an over yet. Dhoni’s first mistake?
Your fucking kidding me Ul Haq played the Marillier and he’s out. What a Pakistan way to lose.
Do you blame him, he was the only one who gave it a shot. I’m sure he will be blamed, people have short memories.
That’s all from me.
india v aus
I’m not sure if I should be enjoying Singh smashing Australia from a parochial point of view. Ascetically the dude is beautiful to watch. He is such a clean hitter of the ball. Its l like watching an Angelina Jolie sex scene, no matter what angle I look from it looks great to me.
More importantly Singh has turned this into a game. In the first few overs the Aussies were doing what they pleased. Then Singh came in and he does what the real cricketers do, he changed the match.
Quickly.
He treated Roy (Symonds) like more countries should, like a part time trundler. 19 runs off his first over. Scared Roy so much he turned to off spin.
As you may have realised I’m writing this as I watch the game, because the chance is I wont be able to stay up for the whole game.
Singh may keep me up longer than I planned. He even made Clark bowl a wide, that’s an achievement. Singh has excited the ground officials so much they have given his half century some fire works.
Clark is getting a lesson. Even though he is the second leading wicket taker in this comp, I feel vindicated that I said he shouldn’t be picked for this tournament.
Johnson is getting bent over now. Symonds just saved him with a direct hit. Johnson can pull his pants back up. However Singh is still there.
Singh is playing with fire, but so far he is getting away with it. He’s having sex in public, but the cops haven’t caught him yet.
Fuck he’s 56 off 22. That is insane for a normal human.
Now Dhoni has joined the orgy. This man has talent. He should probably be India’s next captain, he has charisma, presence and a nice large set of balls. India needs that.
India has been lucky, lots of miss hits dropping short. But luck fortunes the murderous. Australia as usual are a 5th bowler short.
Ian Chappell is bagging coaches again. Funny since his brother just finished coaching them. Mind you Greg Chappell isn’t really a good coach. So Ian may have a good point.
Michael Clarke just went a long way. But Clarke can be hard to hit. I’m a genius, Singh out next ball.
Singh made 70 from 30. that’s hot. Do I have to pay Paris Hilton when I say that.
I might stay up to watch the Australian innings. India is going to put a fair score here. I thought if they made 200, they’ll give it a shake, If Australia loses the openers early they could struggle.
Did I mention that I really don’t want to stay up till 5 am to watch this. But India has made this exciting.
Dhoni run out trying to steal a run off Gilchrist. Dhoni makes 36 off 18. seems to pale compared with Singh. Johnson bowled a clinker of a last over. India 188.
This could be good.
The other Singh could be dangerous here. He troubles Hayden and Gilchrist. I’d bowl him in the third over. In 20 20 the ball is going to stay new for all 20 overs so it doesn’t matter if your new ball bowlers have to wait for a few overs so be it.
I’m staying up. For now.
Rp Singh is bowling. Shit load of Singh’s in this game.
Have I mentioned how much I like Dhoni’s hair cut. He is so much cooler than the average Indian cricvketer. Which is not hard, they are generally nerds.
Gilchrist looks solid. He is tough to bowl to when he is solid. As I say that I see him play and miss twice. But he still looks solid. I can’t make sense of my comments.
If Gilchrist looks solid, Hayden looks like a German tank. Then he plays and misses. I must be tired. Or I’m a shit judge.
Hayden is the leading run scorer in the 20 20 tournament. He has rally played well since I said he shouldn’t be picked for the real world cup earlier this year. I still say he shouldn’t have been picked. After all he did drop KP in the world cup, and that is unforgivable.
India are bowling well early. However so did Australia, and look how that ended.
I’m making the call now, if Gilchrist, Hayden and Roy go out I’m going to bed. After 4 am is not a good time to watch proboters.
Big over off Rp Singh. 17 off it. As great as India have bowled. No wickets is a worry. Next ball Gilchrsit out.
Hodge is coming in. I would have gone with Roy. Although putting a proboter in with a real cricketer is probably smarter.
Hodge makes a calculated decision to charge. No run. Charging should not be thought out. It should be instinctive.
I just saw Hayden play the Douglas Marillier scoop, I must be dreaming. Nope Natalie Portman isn’t wearing her knickers beside me on the couch. I’m awake.
Hayden just put a ball on the roof. Nice. Bogle said massive. I concur. He chooses his words well. Hayden is starting to look really dangerous. And he is only batting at a run a ball. If he is still in at the 12th over mark, India could be in all sorts. Hodge slogs a six, but a controlled proboter slog.
Hodge just went out chasing a wide down the leg side. He was unlucky, all the calculations would have said he’d get away with it.
If Roy goes out I think ill go to bed. I can record this after all.
The real Singh, Harbajan ,is on. If he gets Hayden this will get interesting. Good first over, no wicket however.
Roy just charged and hit a cut shot for six. I shit you not.
Sehwag on, this could make or break the game. Full toss first ball and Roy almost finds mid wicket for a catch. 20 off the over. Well it was worth a try from Dhoni. Another over of 20 and Australia is home. If they aren’t already.
They are batting at the required rate, without either of them really firing up. Its only 60 odd off about 40. 8 wickets in hand. India need 3 wickets. Maybe 4.
It’s almost 5 am. I must have been really drunk to stay up to watch 20 20 cricket. If I’d picked up at the pub I probably would have stayed up this late, but had far more fun.
Hayden out. Interesting.
Hussey in. King Proboter. Hasn’t been in great form for quite some time now. It hasn’t been mentioned much. Probably because Australia has been winning. Dhoni has a slip in, dude thinks like a captain.
India looks a bowler short. Roy may have appealed for a wide and got it. Probably was one.
Hussey may have just done a hamstring. Should the Australian physios be held accountable for all this dodgy hamstring action. I think so. David Lloyd is excited. Mind you he is always excited. He could make Atherton sound great. Hayden is running.
Indian fans look confident. They always look confident. Not sure why. Must be something in their water.
41 off 24.
Proboter six. Hamstring or no hamstring Hussey smacked that. Pathan under more pressure than a Taliban soldier now.
Roy out. I’m not going to bed though. As there is only 20 balls to go.
Clarke is in. He is a right handed batsmen whose favourite shot is the cover drive. I’m so sick of those intros.
30 off 18.
Harbajan bowled Clarke. Now this is sexy, I mean interesting.
India still have to steal an over somewhere. That’s where they may fail.
Haddin in, likes the hook shot. Good for him.
Harbajan is bowling a clinker. One six will change everything though. Hot Indian chick in the crowd, thought it was worth mentioning. Great over from Harbajan. But I repeat, they are still an over short.
27 off 12.
Singh for this over. That means the last one is going to be from a part timer.
Slater just mentioned that Haddin plays for New South Wales, unnecessary comment. Haddin has played and missed twice to start the over. New South Wales style?
No ball, head high full toss. Not a free hit. Weird.
Haddin is really struggling.
Can King Proboter save Australia. Hussey miss hits it, single. India are holdin
g on. Haddin needs to hit this, hard. Play and miss. He is killing me. Slater has not mentioned that he is from New South Wales since he started playing and missing. Haddin miss hits a 2.
Great over. The Singhs are on fire this game.
22 off 6.
Where is Allan Lamb when you need him.
Dot ball.
Can’t win from here. India deserve this. Sharma is bowling I think.
Dot ball. Great bowling.
3 sixes and a four required.
Hussey out, waist high full toss. Miss hit it to the batting Singh. Told you they are all over this game. Shit was close to a no ball. That would have been a big call.
Lee clubs a 2.
I don’t want to bag Haddin, but his misses cost Australia here. I know its hard, but I can’t help but thinking if Cameron white was number 7 he wouldn’t have played and missed at 3 balls. Am i biased, probably, but so is Slater.
Lee out, straight full, all over.
India V Pakistan in the final. That is nice.
Harbajan Singh cannot dance, trust me. No Bollywood career for him.
Johnson 4.
Game over, well played India.
This blog was not edited doe to the fact the game finished at 5 17 am and i was tired.
