There was a time when Morne Morkel was thought of as a potential all rounder, now he bats at 11. He reminds me of a German shepherd I once owned. It was a big strong animal that would scare anyone who saw it, but it was also afraid of butterflies. Is proper scary on a good day, pace and bounce both come out of his large featureless appearance. Of all modern test bowlers with any real skill, he is the most likely to bowl an over that would embarrass someone bowling for the first time. Says he wants to model himself on Glenn McGrath, only recently has that become clear that he meant with his batting.
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Tagged with morne morkel …
Mittens in charge
That isn’t a typo, or a hallucination from too much licking cricket pads, Ashwell ‘Mittens’ Prince is back, and captain.
Neil McKenzie dropped.
Morne Morkel dropped.
Graeme Smith Johnsoned.
Albie Morkel and Wayne Parnell via for Morne’s slot.
And Imran Khan, no not him, is in.
So Mittens has been rushed back in, the only vice captain in world cricket who isn’t selected in his sides best XI.
That is forgotten now.
He is captain, and perhaps opening batsman or number 3.
McKenzie has found runs hard to find since England, during that tour he was talked up alot, and obviously he thinks this is bad luck.
The way Smith is talking this is the end for McKenzie.
Morne’s head fuck overs, which have been reported on here for quite some time, have finally got the better of him.
He has too much natural ability not be given a reprieve shortly.
South Africa have looked flat in this part of the series, and Morkel and McKenzie are both contributing reasons.
McKenzie spends alot of time at the crease, but he doesn’t score much, and he hardly rotates the strike, Australian bowlers love this. They simply worked him over, and they know that eventually he will give a chance.
With him at the wicket the Aussies always thought they had a chance of getting him, and this lifts them, you can see the difference when Kallis and AB put on even a 20 run partnership.
Morkel was a pressure release valve, sure he bowls some balls that make the mothers of cricketers wince, but he bowled so many overs that gave Australia the momentum.
At the same time though, they are two risky decisions, McKenzie may have always looked like going out, but he took the shine off the new ball practically everytime he batted.
Morkel may have let the pressure off, but will Parnell or Albie (?) really instil the fear into Australia like Morne could.
Plus Graeme is out.
That is a huge whole (cheap laughs).
Two new opening batsmen, a captain who isn’t good enough to play in the side, and a bloke named Albie.
It could work, but you’d doubt it.
Snape takes stock
“When I speak to a player – Morne Morkel, say – I tell him that he is the managing director of Morne Morkel Limited, and that everything he does, whether it be training, nutrition, or mental preparation, will affect his share price.”
Jeremy Snape, SA sports psychologist
An anonymous friend put this up recently.
And it’s deadly scary.
Cricketers are now having to compare themselves to stocks in front of quacks, that is where our game is headed.
But this is perhaps scarier.
Thanks to Ceci of Ceci & Mel fame, for the photo.
cricketwithballs
supervillian drops the white cat on its head
Morne has done it again.
Everytime I watch him bowl of late he is in the middle of the worst over ever.
Today his over had a happy ending.
But before that it went for 3 fours and a no ball before some nameless little kitten played on.
1/13 in one over.
That’s a spell.
I don’t know what is going on in that head of his, but it isn’t line or length.
According to the commentators he was trying to bowl 6 different kind of deliveries an over.
I disagree, he bowled two kinds, shit and lucky.
He seems to try too hard to do everything right.
He is an earnest quick.
They are a rare breed, Mitchell Johnson was the last one.
And soon they will go head to head.
Perhaps which ever one keeps his head out of his own ass will help his team to victory.
Morne Morkel loses his superpower
In England Dale Steyn didn’t fire.
And the press didn’t seem to care.
They had Morne Morkel, the commentators were madly in love with him.
There was alot to like, tall, fast, and hard to play.
But somewhere the supervillain sounding Morkel lost it.
Almost every time i see him play he seems to break down.
The latest one was against the Kittens.
Now if you can’t handle the pressure when playing the kittnes, your first trip to Australia is going to be hell.
This was an over by Morkel.
33.1 Morkel to Mushfiqur Rahim, FOUR, full and too straight, flicked away with ease.
33.2 Morkel to Mushfiqur Rahim, no run, no shot offered.
33.3 Morkel to Mushfiqur Rahim, FOUR, full and wide, beautiful cover drive.
33.4 Morkel to Mushfiqur Rahim, FOUR, too straight from Morkel and flicked down fine.
33.5 Morkel to Mushfiqur Rahim, 1 no ball
33.5 Morkel to Mushfiqur Rahim, 1 no ball, another no-all, backward defence.
33.5 Morkel to Mushfiqur Rahim, 1 wide, very wide outside off. Morkel struggling.
33.5 Morkel to Mushfiqur Rahim, 1 run, driven to Smith at mid-off.
33.6 Morkel to Shahadat Hossain, no run
The score before the over was 8/132 in the first innings.
That is some break down.
And in the second innings he wasn’t much better.
This has been happening alot, something in Morkel’s skull is disconnected.
Apparently the boy is a bit of a thinker, and that can often lead towards head fucks.
Morkel seems to be dealing with them alot.
Usually this wouldn’t be a huge problem, Morkel could completely collapse and the worlds favourite serial killer Andre Nel could come in.
But his knee is gone, and he isn’t even travelling to Australia.
Instead Zondeki and Lonwabo Tsotsobe are the back ups.
Morkel’s head is never going to be tested more than in Australia.
This is something to keep an eye on.
the plot thickens
The Evil Morne Morkel charges in, while his white cat is being held by his equally evil non Albino twin brother Albie.
He strikes three times at the jugular, cutting India down and ending the innings of the polite almost doctor Laxman whilst he was trying to resuscitate a shaky beginning.
Now the final show, in oen corner is Morne Morkel, and in the other isIndia’s enigmatic gun slinger Yuvraj, with the comic relief provided by the giant alien lizard Ganguly.
Who will win, who will lose, who will stroke the white cat last…..
Stay tuned to another confusing cross film related load of rubbish from cricket with balls…
India served like a japanese turkey
This is my kind of test match.
Destruction.
Carnage.
Ganguly facing two balls.
India’s top orders being sliced open like an anime character on Christmas morning, whatever that means.
This is test cricket, India humiliated for 76.
Only Irfan Pathan is left alive, and at better than a run a ball. Well done.
Dale Steyn the over excitable Chris Gayle hating fast bowler picked up what his Rainbow Coalition fast bowling partner started, and finished with 5 for 23.
The evil supervillain Morne Morkel took two wickets whilst stroking his white cat, and old man Ntini started it all off with 3 wickets.
India didn’t make it to lunch.
According to Homer’s sources, Anil wanted the pitch shaved and the groundsman said “No, No, No”.
That grounds man may be lynched by parochial Indians, but in my eyes, he is a legend, and probably soon to be a martyr.
Now if South Africa get bowled out for 33 I will be glowing.
Amla attack
South Africa have turned up in India with a plethora of players who are simply not that good.
Not all of them are quota selections.
The Dean Jones suspected terrorist Amla is chief in point.
The dude is a grafter playing one level beyond his capabilities.
He is the sort of batsmen you would expect in a Minnow 7 years after their admission.
If the man payed two attacking shots in a row he would spontaneously combust.
My thoughts on Ashwell Prince are well known, I think he plays test cricket like the little kid in the play ground with mittens on.
AB DeVilliers and Neil MacKenzie remind me of many of the young South African batsmen of recent times.
They come into the side with pure techniques, good eyes and cocky attitudes.
3 or 4 years later they all average in their 30’s and commentators are at pains to mention how good their fielding is.
Graeme Smith is a batsmen who averages 22 against Australia, and over 50 against all the minnows and England. So he’s irrelevant.
Jacques Kallis is the only full on ridgy didge a ok test batsmen in heir side, and well he is Jacques Kallis.
Why am I writing all this, because at stumps today of the 1st test between South Africa and India, South Africa are 4 for 304.
Ouch.
Imagine what score they would be if anyone of them were any good.
And is Ishant Sharma having his adams apple removed, because that is the only excuse that is valid to not have him in ahead of Sreesanth.
Day One to South Africa in a canter.
Oh and Morne Morkel is playing, he shall henceforth be known as the Evil Morne Morkel.
spring loaded stumps
…
I didn’t watch a lot of the one dayer between them and the Windies, cause I was working, but mostly cause it was crap.
But every time I looked up there were stumps cart wheeling everywhere.
In more respectable countries, after the wicket is disturbed, generally the stumps end up looking like Paris Hilton after a night out on the town.
In South Africa its more like Tara Reid.
And it’s not just for speed demons who bowl someone.
One ball had Marlon Samuels lashing a straight drive so hard that a stump almost gelded Mark Benson (I think, they all look the same to me, white people & umpires).
Then as they ran for 2 the ball was thrown to the keepers end as Samuels dived and Boucher took the bails off with all the sensitivity of a date rapist and yet again the stumps came flying out.
So there were stumps on the ground at both ends.
Stumps do come out of the ground in other countries, but never with the vitality and down right coolness that the do in South Africa.
I want more stumps that come out and geld umpires, it will add something to the sport.
Also I got to see the supervillian Morne Morkel in action. While he looked pretty average bowling, he did achieve a run out from his follow through with the most retarded wrong foot throw I’ve ever seen.
Oh and Johan Botha is a chucker. And ©rap.
Marlon Samuels smacked a brutal 98 before the evil empire conspired to derail his well smoted innings.
dirty dirk, supervillians and a really good english spinner
I got some things to say that won’t make a full days news.
The Herald Sun, Murdochs flag ship Australian paper ran a full article on Dirty Dirk Nannes today.
They offcourse didn’t refer to him as Dirty.
Well Herald Sun, I wrote my profile without any research on the 14th of January, 5 days before your Michael Horan produced his.
In fact I first wrote about him on the 14th of November. I didn’t wait until i had facts or he won the 2020 championship to write about him.
Another great name has come to my attention.
Albie Morkel.
He is a south African all rounder, so he is bound to be a disappointment.
His brother, who has played a test has an even better name.
Sounds like a super villain, I can see him stroking his white cat as I write this.
Sacqlain Mushtaq has always been my favourite finger spinner.
The famous test where he destroyed Australia in the first innings in Hobart was out standing. Unfortunately in the second innings Gilly continually put him out of the ground.
I’m not really a huge fan of watching finger spinners, unless they are @ss clowns like Tufnell, Symcox or Matthews. But from the first moment I saw Saqlain Mushtaq I liked him.
Let us not forget he all but invented the doosra, before the doosra became a split personality and took him over like Tyler Durden.
Then he disappeared and I was sad, but now he is back and wants to play for England, and I am happy.
Mind you i have know about this for quite a long time, because my friend at King Cricket is always on the ball. Respect Homey.
