Tagged with misbah ul haq

Pakistani honesty

Whwn I watched any of the Pakistani games from the world t20 on TV I was amazed at how many times the commentators said Aamir is only 17.

Give me a break.

He may be 17 on the ICC forms, but if he is under 20 he is doing well.

Some news places were talking about how he wasn’t born when Pakistan won their last world cup, my ass he wasn’t.

Barring Misbah Cricket, all Pakistanis lie about their age.

If Shahid Afridi is really only 29 I will eat my fathers left nut.

And with all that in mind, here is an excerpt from an excerpt of Younis Khan’s candid interview from Well Pitched.

When reminded he was only 31 (twice during the interview)

Younis laughed and said that 31 was only his official age on paper. He admitted he was only a year younger than Misbah (35) and that he was born in 1975.

Perhaps now the commentators and Journalists, who know this crap goes on, can stop talking about Pakistani teenagers once and for all.

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royal old dudes sack their non main man

Bangalore were the obvious team to fall apart in the IPL.

They spent too much one on players who are not 2020 players, and then played their non performing players ahead of the only two 2020 players they have.

Their captain, and main selector, is a dinosaur.

I love Rahul Dravid.

Back in his day the boy could bat the house down.

The IPL is long removed from his day.

Now he is a plodder. Not even a probot, he is just a middle order test batsman who refuses to play shots or go out.

But as a one day batsman, or as a 2020 batsman, he is a non event.

As a 2020 captain, he is a disaster.

The team has no vision, no attacking instincts, and are only called a “team” because they all wear the same uniform.

But all this is the fault of whoever picked Dravid as iCON, I’m assuming Vijay Mallya, the owner.

What is Dravid’s fault is the squad selection , Kallis, Jaffer, Kumble, and Chandrepaul.

He picked a squad who could never play against proper 2020 teams.

So that is why Dravid should have been fired before the CEO.

Or dropped.

Cameron White is in the squad, he is the captain of the best 2020 domestic team in the world.

He is also a far better 2020 batsman than Dravid.

The next major mistake was whoever kept Misbah Ul Haq out of the team.

Misbah came into the side late, but the team was already horrible, he had to be the first player picked.

Instead he was kept on the bench for 2 games.

Who made that mistake?

So to recap.

Vijay Mallya, should sell the team for fu©king up in the first place, he should sell it to a Russian mafia billionaire.

Rahul Dravid should step down for not being up to it as captain or batsman, and should retire gracefully, before people remember him as the nervous looking dude who can’t score for hours .

And whoever left Misbah out of the team should be fired, and possibly spanked.

So like all professional sports teams they fired the CEO, who I assume had little to do with any of these mistakes.

Coach, next, manager after that.

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Pakistani beef market

Somehow cricket in Pakistan has continued even without Shoaib Ahktar.

Their other Shoaib, the logical, sane and less talented one, is still their captain.

But a week is a long time in Cricket.

In Pakistani cricket a week is several life times.

Since Shoaib Malik’s showing at the 2020 world whatever it was, his team has struggled.

A look at the current line up against Bangladesh gives you an idea why.

Salman Butt averages about 30 in both forms of the game, and so far has done nothing other than have a cool name.

Nasir Jamshed is not somewhere you keep jars, but is actually a young cricketer who is yet to confirm his place in the side, and yet to make a big splash in general.

Younis Khan is the Pakistani version of Elvis, except that he isn’t as sexy, cool, or talented (ummm) as him.

Mohammad Yousuf is a top class international player, probably the only one in the side, he is also a scientologist.

Shoaib Malik is the youngest looking 26 year old Pakistan has ever had. He may actually be the age he claims to be. Will be a very handy cricketer, but right now is just a cricketer.

Misbah Ul Haq has the same surname as Inzy and a lovely cricket backside. He can bat, but probably won’t be around for long.

Shahid Afridi is Shaihid Afridi.

Kamran Akmal is a male model, who dabbles in wicketkeeping. Used to be a sh1t hot batsmen. Now is not.

Umar Gul is a player who is destined to be called Sea. The boy can bowl, but is never going to be an out and out match winner.

Sohail Tanvir is a quick who can also bowl spin. So far I am yet to see him bowl either particularly well, but could be a handy one day option.

Iftikhar Anjum is Rao Iftikhar, true story.

Not a lot of high priced cattle for Malik to play with there.

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the flat pitch & murali and kumar take white england

The India v Pakistan innings almost got exciting, even after India made a billion runs on a deck flatter than a sh1t carters hat. Then they got Pakistan 5 for 150 odd and they must have been more excited than a 15 year old with his first play boy.

Then one of the less attractive men in world cricket, and a guy with a great name who likes to hop, put on a 200 run partnership and suddenly the flickers of the game were reignited, even if it was for just a moment.

Proof this pitch is a road, Akmal was batting so bad, some Pakistani supporters wanted him put down, and he still made a ton. And Ganguly made runs.

Need I say more?

Hell even Shoaib bowled 15 overs yesterday, quite an effort, he may be in hospital for the next 2 months though.

Over the border/water Sri Lanka were derailed by England on the first day, and with the poms 3/170 chasing 180 odd, the game was over.

Then Murali woke up, and now England has a game to play. 6/185 and with the prospect of facing the chuckaroo in the last innings. Good luck lads.

England really needs to win this series if they are to prove that they are the number two team in the world. ICC rankings look pretty on a wall, but they don’t do much for you out on the field.

Sri Lanka only have two players who can really damage you, I mean really damage you, but when its Kumar and Murali its still bloody dangerous.

With Warne and McGrath gone, Kumar and Murali are the best one two combination in world cricket. Even better than Andre Nel and Satan.

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more potatos

Some of you may think I owe Ganguly an apology.

It’s more likely that I retire from writing cricket blogs and take up a job as chief motivator and ego stroker for the South Africans.

48 and two wickets, that isn’t apology worthy.

Misbah must be unlucky to have missed out on man of the man match in what was a very low scoring game.

Kumble got it with 7 wickets, which is a good effort, but Mibah held up the Pakistani line up on his own.

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the potato series

Hey there is a test going on in India.

And it looks like a good one.

Even better than that it looks like Pakistan could win it, which will really throw the undies onto the stage.

Misbah Ul Haq decided to throw a way a good but very slow innings with a hop.

Kumble is holding India up, so nothing new there.

Very very special is warming up for his tour of Australia, and is already carrying the noodle nut who bats ahead of him.

Dhoni looks good, even with the new hair.

If India lose I’m blaming the muppets for selecting Ganguly rather than Yuvraj, even if Ganguly makes a second innings ton.

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