Tagged with michael slater

sl v au day one

Isn’t it great test cricket is back.

Mind you I didn’t see any of it live.

I was at the races today, and I got drunker than Freddy Flintoff during a world cup.

Damn free booze.

What are we talking about?

But after the Oaks day spectacular, great perving day, I decided to come home and watch the cricket vie my hard drive replay.

Regular readers of the blog will understand, women first, cricket second.

Lets talk about Phil Jacques, not because Michael Slater likes him, but because he is actually good.

He looks as solid as Queen Latifah against the quicks.

So far his form against Murali isn’t quite as solid, more Halle Berry than Queen Latifah, but a hundred is a hundred.

Jacques didn’t celebrate like a virgin with his first conquest, he celebrated like a professional cricketer who has finally got his chance. Which is odd because he doesn’t bat like a Probot.

Mind you he is still less annoying than any Michael Slater celebration (apparently a few drinks makes me bag Michael Slater even more). He reminded me of Slater when he went out though. Charging Murali like a heroin addict.

This was probably the ugliest and most boring hundred I have ever seen Jacques play.

Infact he probably has the worst top order technique since Greg Ritchie. However if Greg Blewett and Darren Ganga have tough us anything its that techniques mean nothing.

It seemed to take him forever to get off the mark, I’d give you an exact figure, but all the beer and port makes it hard to look at, or remember figures.

Even on 4 times the natural speed it seemed a long time. See if they had opened with Brad Hodge he would have got out by now. Victorian cricketers aren’t selfish like that.

The Gabba pitch was tricky early on. Its one of about 5 test pitches in the world that’s current characteristic isn’t flat and easy to bat on. Remember the old days of 2002 when pitches actually did some something.

Australia should have been in a better position, sure Sri Lanka missed some chances, but how often to Hayden and Ponting get starts in the first test and not make the opposition pay for it.

Why did I press the enter key over and over again.

Memo to Sri Lanka, average teams have half chances, really good teams just take wickets. Sri Lanka isn’t quite Lee Marvin, more like Donald Sutherland at this stage.

In the probing rain delayed interview, McGrath mentioned before the game he is playing for the IPL (the official league) not the ICL, what a nerd. Seriously just once I wish he’d do something controversial, well other than disappear to the country when his missus got the cancer.

Fernando bowled like, well, I don’t know, how do I describe it. $hit perhaps?

Fancy leaving Malinga out. Seriously why not give Australia the series. Stupid motherf*ckers.

Some times I am convinced test nations don’t want to beat Australia.

Overall was a wet day of test cricket, weather wise and with 2 class players giving up starts and Jacques doing his best Michael Atherton impersonation.

Murali looked good, and if he doesn’t get his 7 wickets for the remainder of this series he should hand back his chucking licence.

Even on replay this looked like an average day of test cricket, so still 4 times better than the average day of cricket out of South Africa.

Tomorrow, do I go to the G to watch Victoria or sit at home and watch Australia.

Life is tough folks.

If none of this made sense I apologise for writing while I was still clearly a little less than on top of my game.

Ps, if you watch the cricket with the sound turned off, the commentators don’t really annoy you. True story.

Tagged , , ,

Pakistanis, Germans and Indians, oh my.

I must admit firstly that I missed India’s innings. Since Dhoni and Singh didn’t make any runs I’m not really that concerned with missing it.

I was playing indoor cricket with a German dude who had never played cricket before. His bowling action was about 45 degrees worse than Murali’s, he batted like a drunken hockey player and was practically running 3 seconds before the ball was released. It was quite a sight, and was probably more entertaining than India’s batting.

Anyway this is my musings as I watched Pakistan’s innings.

The Indian opening bowlers were good, then shit, then awesome, then shit again, and then saved by a run out. Dhoni must have been confused. Michael Slater was, not about the cricket, just about life in general.

Singh the fast bowling one, started off with cracking first over. Then bowled Akmal in his second over with a ball so good it would have got Steve Waugh out. Akmal is good but he is no Steve. He followed it up with a shocking over that let Pakistan off the hook.

Sreesanth’s first over was like a scene from saw. His second was more like a Natalie Portman film, (a very tight maiden).

I love listening to Nasser Hussain commentate on captaincy. It makes me think I should write blogs on how to have long and healthy relationships. Both things me and Hussain have great track records at. Hussain made the comment that both teams have played like their captains, with flair and attractive attacking cricket. Is that why under Nasser, England played drab cricket and just weren’t really any good.

That said Dhoni’s captaincy is great. He has kept India in this, Pakistan don’t like pressure. Mind you why does Dhoni wear a helmet when he is standing back to fast bowlers? I can’t help but think its something to do with his hair. Thoughts, comments?

They just showed some Bollywood actor and the crowd went wild. I hate bollywood films. Too much singing and holding hands, give me violence and sex any time.

Shahid Afridi, favourite shot, anywhere for six. Result second ball duck. Damn I hate watching him fail.

Pathan bowled amazingly well, it’s hard to believe he hasn’t been playing for the proper side much recently.

Dhoni has to get so much credit for this, he has placed really clever fields used his bowlers really well.

While watching Yasir Arafat I can’t help but think there is Israeli snipers in the grand stand waiting for the order.

Shit there are sixes everywhere now. Pakistan are giving this one more crack. A long hard crack. That was for Tony Greig.

Is it just me or are the stumps in this tournament spring loaded to jump out of the ground upon contact?

13 off the last over and India start with a wide. Then Ul Haq swings hard and nothing. Next ball six. Wow. Waist high full toss. Not great. Did I hear right the spinning Singh had an over yet. Dhoni’s first mistake?

Your fucking kidding me Ul Haq played the Marillier and he’s out. What a Pakistan way to lose.

Do you blame him, he was the only one who gave it a shot. I’m sure he will be blamed, people have short memories.

That’s all from me.

Tagged , , , , ,
Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 9,031 other followers