Tagged with michael kasprowicz

Nimbus TV with help from Michael Kasprowicz laugh at Adolf Hitler

Well done Nimbus.

For giving us the gift on some Indian fucktard who is carrying on like a wanker while wearing an Adolf Hitler mask.

Well done Michael Kasprowicz.

For not pointing out that it wasn’t on, and instead talking about the fans having smiles on their faces.

Adolf Hitler masks are not really for the cricket, and if some dickhead does take one in, there was no reason to show the guy wearing it.

Luckily for the BCCi there are no Jewish players in the Ausralian side, but there are Jewish players in first class cricket, the Hebrew Hammer Michael Klinger.

What would have been better was if after the innings the Australian audience were sent back to the Sydney studios for Jon Moss, a Jewish ex shield cricketer who now does commentary for Foxsports.

These two might not have found it so funny to see a fan lapping up the attention of the camera crew while wearing a mask of someone who tried to exterminate their ancestors.

Someone who as largely responsible for about 70 million deaths. 11 million of those he signed the papers for himself.

Perhaps not someone that people want to hear described as having a smile on his face.

Here is the dickhead.

look at that pretty smile

I know that some Indians don’t always see the Holocaust as something that bad, but having your head up your ass isn’t a realistic defence in my mind.

Nimbus, will there be an apology to the jewish members of your audience, or those who just think that someone enjoying themselves in a hitler mask is in the shittest possible taste.

EDIT: I apologise to the BCCI, bccI and the BCCi for saying they were involved in this. I thought they owned the images and hired Nimbus to film them. That was incorrect.

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Roy minus spunk equals dud

Andrew Symonds is on very shaky ground. He has lost his spunk, his mojo or his get-go. In my opinion he is either a one-day player or a test player, he can’t do both.

In starting his innings’ in test cricket he is looking as timid as a Michael Kasprowicz yorker. He is poking around at the crease playing un-Symonds like strokes – the end result is very ordinary dismissals.

The worst part is that he has transferred this over to the one-day arena. Some of his shots in this tri-series against India and SL have been as ugly as seeing Kathy Bates come out of the bath in About Schmidt, ewwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!

Roy, make a decision, play either test or one day cricket. Ideally you are a one-day player – voted in the best Aussie 11 since odi’s started, so stick at it, give the tests away.

Watching you bat without your spunk is like watching Bambi’s mum die. And the tears are already rolling down my cheek!!!!!

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Three Jeers for Kaspa

It is with great excitement that I can write that the man with the fattest ass in international cricket, Michael Kasprowicz, has announced his retirement.

Never has a man, with no talent, been given more of an opportunity to play for his country than the “old warhorse” that is Kaspa.

His ridiculously short pitched bowling meant that he ensured the batsmen had plenty of time to get on the back foot and choose his next shot. His frightening speed had them all quivering too!!!

The bloke could not swing the ball or move the ball off the wicket – in the end he couldn’t even bowl fast offies.

I was unfortunate enough to see his first ODI wicket at the MCG – both Sime and I thought that the ball hit him on the foot given its length – no doubt Sherwin Campbell cannot believe that he played the dumbest shot to third man to get out.

I am glad to see the end of Kaspa, because you could just never second guess the Australian selectors – you just knew that he was always the next in line – irrespective of the form of other Aussie domestic cricketers.

Good riddens to you Kaspa, now may that ass come to good use – Trevor Hohns enjoyed it whilst being chairman of selectors and I reckon there might be a spot in his retirement home just for you.

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Best cricketing backsides


This was the blog that had to happen.

And only cricket with balls is ready to talk about the BIG issues.

Even though this is Michael Kasprowicz week. This blog is dedicated to Craig McMillan. The feisty cricketer who didn’t let the junk in his trunk, hamper his career.

The cricketing backside, is something that not even the professionalism of the new game can damage. It goes back to Dr Grace, and it is more a part of cricket than the outswinger is. And easier to master.

But what is a cricketing backside, well its when a cricketer has a derrière than you can rest a TV dinner on. There are factions who believe that the cricket backside reduces skill level, but I think this blog may debunk this myth forever.

The other myth of the cricketing backside is that you need to be overweight, while that can be the case, some are very fit individuals who just have a little more cushion for the pushin. It affects middle order batsmen and wicket keepers mostly, however cricketers of all denominations can have rear bulk.

New Zealand has always been the leaders in this category, Scott Sytris is their current man, but in recent history Chris Cairns and the Marshalls have all had great rear ends. After all it is the land of the large wide cloud.

Even the most athletic and evil Cricket nation, South Africa, have had some of the great backseat wonders. Brian McMillan and Daryll Cullinan both had amazing back spaces. In their case, perhaps the backseat did affect their cricket, or maybe they were both just @ssholes.

Australia has not been spared, Kaspa was the king, but Brett Lee has a larger derrier than is neccassacary and his brother Shane had a ripper.

Some of you might be thinking at this stage, well maybe you white dudes just have big @sses, enough said.

Not so my friend. While the cricketing backside is mostly a white problem, Sri Lanka, Pakistan (inzy anyone), India Kenya and Bermuda all have players with large derriers.

Sri Lanka spent years being carried, not on the shoulders of, but on the buttocks of Jayasuriya and De Silva. If you see a young Sri Lankan who waddles, you know he’s gonna become a top player.

Kenya may still be a second tier side, but in terms of bums, they are test match quality. Part of their selection policy seems to revolve around strong rear end muscles. I think its something they should continue, as success will surely follow.

So here is my backside 11 from the last 15 years.

Or my baby got back 11.

1Sanath Jayasuriya
2Steve Tikilo
3Aravinda De Silva
4Dayrll Cullinan
5Craig McMillian
6Brian McMillian
7Ian Healy (lets be honest it could be most keepers)
8Chris Cairns
9Ramesh Powar
10Brett Lee
11Michael Kasprowicz
12 Shane Lee

Feel free to tell me about your favourite cricket backsides in the comments. Or even alternate sides, if you feel the need.

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The Trevor Hohns 11

I’m back on deck as long as Uncle J-Rod keeps the language down.

I’d like to pay homage to those players over the 10 or so years who have played test cricket for Australia who have had little or no ability whatsoever, but must have had incriminating photos of Trevor Hohns. I know the side is stacked with bowlers, but our batsman have been pretty steady. Seeing though the selectors couldn’t pick a 12, I have picked 14 players to tour whichever fifth world country would like to play us!!!

  • Greg Blewett – had an absolute gaping technique flaw – it was as wide as the area between his bat and his bad when he played straight
  • Matthew Elliot – Unfortunately he could play a bit, just not for Australia!!!
  • Brad Hodge – he talks the talk but never walks the walk – just another “talented Victorian”
  • Simon Katich (VC) – walks more around the crease than Burke and Wills did when trekking across Australia
  • Stuart Law – Still can’t even get a game with the Poms… and I’ll never forgive him for costing us the 1996 World Cup
  • Phil Emery – how did this bloke keep Darren Berry out of the side
  • Michael Kasprowicz (C) – the bloke with the fattest a$$ in world cricket, never swung the ball, never moved the ball off the wicket, I ask again, why did he play 38 tests????
  • Sean Young – like his namesake actress, useless in all aspects of the game
  • Gavin Robertson – Steve Waugh’s bumbuddy helped him get this gig
  • Paul Wilson – Blocka. Bowled like he was blocked up too!
  • Brad Williams – the worst Australian cricketer ever to wear the Baggy Green
  • Scott Muller – Can’t Bowl Can’t Throw… I think that says enough
  • Mathew Nicholson (Who??? Oh yeah that bloke)
  • Simon Cook – See Mathew Nicholson

Enjoy, Big Daddy

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