The ICC need your help.
For the world cup they are doing what people do and having a mascot.
No one knows why, but someone did it once and it worked, so now everyone hires some lithium addicted graphic designer to come up with a mascot that will be mocked or ignored.
This mascot is an elephant. My mother in law owned an elephant once, it isn’t true, but that is what I tell the whities.
It isn’t the worst mascot ever, but by definition of being a mascot it sucks a fair chunk of ass.
But the whimsical elephant has no name.
And this is how you can help the ICC.
They want a name for the elephant.
According to the ICC, “The fans have been given a week, between July 20 to July 27, to submit their suggestions for the mascot’s name, the elephant, at mascot@icc-cricket.com“.
There are some things you need to know;
“ICC also said that the name should given keeping in mind the key characteristics of the mascot’s personality.
ICC has tried to imbibe morals of an ideal player into the mascot’s personality by stating that the mascot believes in hard work and is always learning to master the art of concentration.
ICC said the mascot is someone who is young and enthusiastic, and determined individual.
He is someone who thinks cricket is the most fun game in the world and loves playing street cricket. He worships his cricket heroes, their technique, skill and character and dreams of playing in the ICC Cricket World Cup, one day.”
So are you keeping all that in mind? Good.
Now let us try and name the elephant.
I think that only something completely inappropriate will work. Any attempts at naming this Elephant something that means something will just end up in tears, sometimes only inappropriateness is the right thing to do.
I think I get the ICC brief, they want something Asian and young, and I think I have the perfect name.
Slumdog Effigy.
It’s new, fun, plays street cricket, and is ready to be stolen from popular culture. They couldn’t possibly knock it back.
They could do a whole cartoon around little slumdog effigy.
]Slumdog Effigy starts as a leper who is healed by Steve Waugh when he is given a MRF bat deal. From there he is asked to appear on Navjot Sidhu’s game show where he has to wrestle Ravi Ratnayake and two tigers while Rameez Raja interviews Shoaib Akhtar’s genital warts in the background. This leads to him signing a 50 million dollar promotional deal with Cherry Pepsi, meaning he gets invited to an informal lunch with Lalit Modi, while a TV in the background plays an Imran Khan stump speech mentioning him. Finally he gets to the world cup but he is really tired plays useless, but still gets signed up with a revamped ICL who use him as their mascot, meaning that he gets interviewed by Tony Greig as Kapil Dev dances near by.
They sound track would be Mehrab Hossain jnr singing Ronan Keating’s you say it best when you say nothing at all.
If you can do better, send your ideas to mascot@icc-cricket.com by the 27th of July.
