Tagged with mark boucher

balls profile: Mark Boucher

No player is more like a reliable station wagon than Mark Boucher.  Holds the records for the most dismissals as a wicket keeper in test cricket.  Has done this without being a particularly great wicket keeper.  He is also not much of a batsman.  Yet there he is, behind the stumps, being all Boucher like.  Plucky, game, in for a scrap and more likeable than the whole team combined.  He is one hell of a cliche generator.  Right now I want to call him someone I would go to war with.  I’d love to hate him, but he just seems to ballsy.  If you were picking a cricketer to date your sister, you could do worse than Boucher.  His friendship to Kallis has been ignored for this profile.

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The CWB football team

I’ve decided to pick a team of football from what cricket has to offer.  It wouldn’t win the world cup, but I think I’d enjoy watching them play.

Striker

Sachin– sure he is not gifted with the most athletic frame, but like a non mental Diego Maradonna more than makes up with it with the ability to score at will and carry a team.  Has had some pretty handy world cups already.

Striker

Pollard – big strong and has great club form, picked for his ability to turn only a few opportunities into goals.  People worry that he has never done anything at international level to justify his millionaire status.  He doesn’t seem to mind.  Probably not adverse to the odd dive and handy with headers.

Left Midfield

Sulieman Benn – Occasional brilliance is often overshadowed by talk of his height and temper.  Only player to be sent off by his own captain after a bad tackle and bad attitude.  It is never clear if he ever tries to actually hit the ball in a tackle.

Centre Midfield

Ponting– Scores more than most, but is still a very heavy handed defender.  Is quick, plays well of both feet, is a winner, but can lose his temper at times. Has won at the top level a few times before. Doesn’t like being substituted.

Centre Midfield

Mark Boucher – A tough team player.  Like a rugged family sedan, once you have him there you’d know that spot was well taken care of.  Yet you’d still drop him from time to time to see if you have someone younger or flashier.  He might misread how much injury time is left in big games.

Right Midfield

Paul Collingwood – Often thought of as nothing more than a defender who plays midfield, yet he can score on occasions and is always important at the end of matches.  Only has a right foot, and this often makes his ungainly style look even uglier than it would normally.

Left Back

Ray Price – Hard as nails, ready to hack you just for fun, always slower than the men he is defending.  No one ever gets past him with the ball and their shins.

Centre Back

Charl Langeveldt – Steady, consistent, easily droppable, and dependable.  He will have been in and out of the team for years.  The sort of defender that gets no headlines but does the job when you can’t find anyone better.

Centre Back

Kumar – Silky smooth defender that makes the opposition strikers feel ungainly in comparison.  Always takes a piece of the ball, is the captain, penalty taker, and pin up boy of the team.  Also the most likely to put off the opposition when they’re taking a penalty.

Right Back

Harbhajan Singh – An attacking insane defender who loves to take free kicks from 40 yards believing that he can score a goal.  Mostly he’ll miss by a mile, but every now and then he’ll score.  Will also be red carded for the occasional slap.

Keeper

Rahul Dravid – Nothing gets past Rahul.  Sure there are times he is less animated than an East German goal keeper, but would you ever back yourself to get through him?

Manager

Jamie Siddons – All the best managers have trouble keeping their emotions in check, Siddonds fits  this well.  With him in full view of the cameras you can really see the veins almost explode in his head as the other team score.

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The beginning of the end for Boucher

There have been very few South African cricketers that I have cared about at all.

Andre Nel, Pat Symcox and Brian McMillan were all favourites, but mostly because I assumed they were all insane, a character flaw I like in cricketers.

Of the cricketers that are less likely to kill you, Mark Boucher is the one South African who I admire the most.

I probably shouldn’t. Boucher’s record with the bat is poor for a modern keeper, and while he started brilliantly (even breaking a record of the great Darren Chuck Berry) with the gloves I should be disappointed that over the years his keeping has faded to its current levels.

He is just a tough son of a bitch.

There is a lot of posturing in South African cricket. Men who talk up how hard they are, stand tall, beat average cricketers, and then ultimately fail when the real test is put on them.

Boucher was there for when that was at its very worst, but the mud never stuck on him.

His toughness was not painted on before getting on the field, he just seemed tough. Yet he still had a face of a guy you could take home for your mother.

And that is not to say he didn’t do his share of fucking up, his D/L fuck up against Murali cost South Africa a chance of choking later in the 03 world cup.

There was a touch of old school about him. An inner mongrel that had to be admired. Every time he came in to bat his average would flash up on the screen and I’d be shocked at how low it was.

He was a throw back to when your wicket keeper was your son of a bitch who was in the team because he could be handy in a fight and he batted that way. He didn’t score runs, he earnt them. He had some pretty shots, but he also had slogs, bunts, scrappiness about him.

Early on in his career he was a keeper’s keeper. Over the years his footwork got sloppy, his hands less sure, and perhaps had he not been such a mentally strong team man he would have disappeared.

That he didn’t showed the value he brought to the camp. He was kept there to be the spine in an often spineless team.

I always thought he would make a good leader, but he seemed to relish the role of second in charge. Baulking at opportunities to take over that never made sense to me, but he knows his limitations better than most. And as Clint Eastwood once mumbled, “a man’s got to know his limitations”.

Now, and not for the first time, South Africa is using an alternative. Someone with way more talent than Boucher (at least in batting), but little of the fortitude. In the past this has meant little and eventually they go back to Boucher, not for his skill, but for every thing else he brings.

At 33, they might still go back to him, and he might even keep his test job for a little while longer. But this is the beginning of the end, Boucher is a strong man, but South African cricket needs to look into the future, and he is at the wrong age for that.

If you were leaving a pub and walking down a back alley late at night with Boucher beside you when you were surround by 4 heavy looking dudes with knives, you’d almost back yourself to survive it. He is gristle, and you just feel that while he may not help you beat the 4 dudes, he may be able to fight them off long enough to get away.

There may have been bigger, scarier looking and better players than Boucher in the South African team over the years, but he’d be the one for me in a grubby back alley knife fight.

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Claire Taylor’s “honour”

When you are along side Neil McKenzie and James Anderson, you’d almost have to say no to the award.

McKenzie’s 2008 was so good he was dropped 2 tests into 2009, and his 2008 yielded 3 hundreds in 14 tests.

And James Anderson averaged 29 in tests, and 74 in one dayers.

Surely CWB’s Holly Colvin would have been the better option than either of these two muppets.

Boucher also made it, um, that is cool, not sure why he is there. Averaged 27 against England and 33 over all, made one hundred for the year against Bangladesh. If he was picked because Sclyd Berry likes him I can respect that.

And ofcourse the token county player, also a South African, Dale Benkenstein, who had a cracking year.

While it is great that Wisden finally recognised women’s cricket, it’s just a shame Claire had to share the honour with lesser cricketers.

Ofcourse the whole system is a bit of a joke, if I was Claire I would refuse to be involved at all.

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That Recognition Thing Again

Sorry to keep harping on about this, but I couldn’t let the big news of today pass without comment. Forget what is going on in New Zealand. Forget whatever happens later in the Carribean. A woman has been named as one of Wisden’s fiver cricketers of 2008.

Not just any woman, either, but England’s Claire Taylor. You probably have heard of her, as she was player of the tournament in the recent World Cup. This, on the other hand, is recognition of her stellar performances with the bat last year.

There will be people who criticise this decision and who see it as yet another change wrought by new Wisden editor Scyld Berry where none was needed. These people are very wrong. 2008 was hardly a vintage year for cricket. The others honoured are James Anderson, Dale Blenkenstein, Mark Boucher and Neil McKenzie, which to my mind makes two awards for longevity, one for leading your side to a title and one for being the only man in the world more superstitious than me. On performance alone, Taylor deserves to be there.


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What went wrong?

Graeme Smith is disappointed with what has gone on with the captaincy round-about of recent times.

Ashwell Prince is pissed off he has to open.

Mark Boucher must be upset and confused with his treatment.

Neil McKenzie captained South Africa on the field 3 tests back.

And Jacques Kallis is now the 3rd/4th option to lead his side after 3 straight losses.

South Africa really don’t handle losing well.

This will be the first test in the whole series they have done in with a team more talented than Australia.

I would love to know what has gone wrong inside the changeroom.

Australia has played above and beyond, but South Africa have looked dead.

Something must be going on behind the scenes.

Smith said this on the captaincy issue, “It is disappointing, but the saddest thing is that during times like these, you need cool heads,”.

South Africa kept the same 11 players for 5 straight tests, and lost three of those tests.

The other two they came from behind.

Is this a glass house?

South Africa can still win this test and square off the overall series.

It just doesn’t seem like they will.

Their is an obvious reason why South Africa have fallen apart, and it’s not in the media, but as usual cricket with balls is ahead of the pack.

The whole team had a wild orgy after their win in Melbourne, and a bit like a bad TV show, all their tension is gone.

True story.

Also Jacques is still angry that Graeme is not a fan of the reach around.

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Mittens’s demoted

Didn’t take long for sanity to prevail.

Oh Kallis is captaining.

Didn’t take long for South Africa to completely lose the fucken plot.

Indulge me for a moment please.

Smith was captain; Mitch did him in.

Boucher took over in the field; has since been overlooked twice.

Ashwell Mittens Prince got the gig; but apparently opening the batting was too much for him.

And now Jacques Kallis is captain.

That is some major fucken freak out.

Boucher must be confused, good enough to captain days ago, since then two others have been promoted.

Johan Botha probably even got a call.

Surely we aren’t back on the wicket keepers can’t captain nonsense.

I can’t imagine there are too many people who believe Jacques Kallis would be a better captain than Mark Boucher.

Are there?

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