Tagged with josh hazelwood

Deconstructing Josh Hazelwood – the new tin tin

According to the general media consensus Hazelwood’s debut for Australia was encouraging, or promising. Or encourageably promising.

It certainly wasn’t shit.

But let us look a little deeper than the words encouraging or promising.

General look:

The best way to describe Josh is as a Country Australian version of Tin Tin who has been feed human growth hormones. He is a large chunk of a lad with the face of a 15 year old who does well at school but dreams of looking cooler.

Pace:

Not quick. Luke Wright was quicker. Seemed to sit around the 86 (138 k) an hour range. It isn’t slow, but it isn’t quick either. He did look like he had it in him to bowl quicker. He would want to. 86 miles an hour is a medium pacer now, and I can’t see someone specialising at that pace for 10 years. Being that it was a one dayer, he could have been holding back.

Bounce:

Wasn’t scary Curtly bounce. There was one ball that got up off a good length. Maybe if he was a little quicker the bounce would come in, but Douggie got better carry than he did.

Movement:

The boy moves the ball in, nicely. Off the seam when no one else in the game seemed to move it off the pitch much at all. The wicket of Kieswetter was an across the seam ball that shouldn’t have moved but it did. I’d call it a fluke, but I saw him do it three times. I didn’t see him move the ball away, but he got KP edging to slip with a straight one after a few had come back.

Action:

It isn’t pretty. The word lumbering will be used for him getting to the wicket, and his actual delivery almost turns him into a modern day Carl Rackermann. What I like about it is that it doesn’t look like some prissy academy action. This is the action of a bunch of farmers from across County Australia. Yet again the country boys come in untouched while the big city players come in looking like the coaching manual is stuck in their ass cheeks.

Fire:

The dude looks like tin tin, there wasn’t much fire there. He doesn’t look like an aggressive fella, but if he did it would look funny on him.

Length:

By far my favourite thing about the way he bowled was his length. Like all good bowlers he found the length he liked and just stayed there. It is a nice length as Kieswetter found out. A McGrath/Curtly type length. Although I still think he needs a bit more pace if he wants to keep it there.

Wicketability:

I’d like to think I made this term up, but I bet some wanker has used it before. To me he doesn’t look like he will be a big bag wicket taker, but he does look like he will take regular wickets.  On another day he takes the wicket of KP and the Australian press call him the new Lindwall.

If I was 19 and I played like that on debut I’d be pretty happy. Although I’d then be pissed off that Ponting didn’t bowl me after the 28th over, and I’d be ever more pissed off that Watson bowled more overs than me. Although If I was Josh Hazelwood I probably wouldn’t be writing this.

Well played, Josh. The new new Glenn McGrath.

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Josh Hazelwood Vs Stephen Finn – the McGrath off

Stephen Finn is the new Glenn McGrath. Of that there can be no doubt.

He bowls, has hair, skin and toe nails, is tall, thin, gets bounce, bowls a decent line and doesn’t swing the ball.

How could he possibly be more like McGrath?

England did it; they created the perfect McGrath clone, one that can torment Australia for years with bounce, consistency and wickets.

All their problems are over, the sun is shining, squirrels are humping cats, huzzah.

The problem is that he isn’t the only one out there. As Tony put it, “Australia have promoted the real new Glenn McGrath”.

The Australian NSP (wank speak for selectors) couldn’t just sit around and watch England bring out the new McGrath, so they brought out their own.

Josh Hazelwood, who is tall, bounce, etc, you know, pretty much the same thing as Finn without the test wickets against Bangladesh.

The ashes has started early, my friends.

This McGrath off is getting serious.

Finn has the thinness, Hazelwood has the county NSWales back round.

Australia didn’t need to pick Hazelwood, they had other options, Hilfenhaus and George could have gone, but both men are not like McGrath.

They did it just to show that they aren’t afraid of showing their new McGrath to England, even though England are hiding their new McGrath.

Ofcourse in order to be a real McGrath off, their should be a reality game show.

Finn and Hazelwood would have to go head to head in a bunch of McGrath events.

They’ll have to try and pick up an English flight attendant.

Try and hit a gnat’s ass at 20 yards.

Get hair cuts to see which one can truly pull off the 8 year old boy’s hair cut.

One pig will be released, they both have to go after it in the most boring way they can, but they still have to kill it.

And finally a tea pot competition to see which player can pull of the angry face the best.

Only then can we finally know who should be ruined by the name “the new McGrath”.

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The baby blues win Mott’s love

The Kiwi’s eventually lost their warm up game.

NSWales have only got first innings points from one game in the shield this year.

But they closed New Zealand out with their worst team in the year and their second youngest of all time.

You can’t help but think this result is going to be a lot more important for NSWales than New Zealand.

The Kiwis will go on to play a test match next week and wont care.

But for NSWales this game means quite a lot.

Moises Enriques finally stepped up with bat and ball.

Josh Hazelwood showed he can bowl.

Steven Smith took a few wickets and made a lot of runs.

And Phillip Hughes yet again tried to jump Shaun Marsh.

All these guys are 21 and under.

A gun opening batsman, a young tall quick, and two all rounders.

There aren’t many teams in the world that don’t want that sort of combination.

Bloody NSWales.

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