I really thought one photo would be enough on this issue, but I was wrong.
The ICC train wreck needs at least last look before we all go off and do something far more important, like shaving neighbourhood cats.
The Australian Mistake:
It was great thinking to pick John Howard over a better candidate with more experience in the field from a country that has never had an ICC president. Malcolm Speed said that this was a political move by the other countries to block Howard. Fuck me, what goes on in the Cricket Australia office if they think others were making a political move when they picked a politician? Cricket Australia out gunned New Zealand because they wanted a man who would shake things up and give them some muscle on the world stage. It backfired because the man they picked is pretty well despised everywhere. Officials in Australia are now saying that Howard was rejected because he was going to upset the apple cart of the dodgy bastards already in there. If that is true, think about how stupid Howard was for that job. Australia put up a man to upset people in the future who had already upset people in the past. It gave said dodgy bastards cover, didn’t it? Cricket Australia are saying how proper mad they are right now, well they should be, at their own general stupidity at thinking that Howard would ever get an easy ride. I said on twitter that Asia and Africa would try and block this from the moment Howard was announced, how could some bum like me sitting on my couch in London work this out when Cricket Australia couldn’t?
The Zimbabwean Mistake:
There is no way you can really be on Zimbabwe’s side here, because it means you are essentially on the side of a brutal crazy genocidal dictator. Zimbabwe seems to be getting better as a country over the last few years, but if they are going too get prickly with countries or world leaders who called Mugabe a fucktard they will spend more of their time being indignant than they will actually helping the country. There are now stories about Howard dissing Mandela and bring up his previous voting records on Apartheid, that is all retro fitting nonsense, Zimbabwe’s problem was Howard getting involved in the tour that Stuart MacGill essentially cancelled by not going. South Africa jumped on board because that is what voting blocs do.
The everyone else mistake:
I could not think of a human being I want less involved in cricket than John Howard, and my list includes Gary Glitter, Delta Goodrem, Dubya Bush and Kim Jong-Il. That said, two cricket nations had the choice of picking their candidate for the job, and they picked the man. From there he should have been vetted by all parties, given a chance to state his case and then had his ass kicked out. This was a witch-hunt. And not even a fun witch-hunt where various cricket boards dunked him in water to see if he floated. It was a rumour and bullshit exercise. The explanation given was by Haroon Lorgat, “The ICC Board does not have to give reasons”. The ICC also does not have to function properly, but we’d like them too. Then Pawar said, “There are no political connotations to this decision.” It takes guts to say a line like that. If, like those angry Australians are saying, that this was a move to make sure that Australia did not get too much power and upset the already shady balance of power in the ICC, then we are all lucky that the ICC is such a shambolic group so that it can never use its evil powers to full effect.
The John Howard mistake:
Getting involved in the first place. He had to know that at best this was going to be more shit than he needed after getting out of politics at 70, and at worst another embarrassing loss in an election. I’ve never truly understood John Howard, he is some Political rodent who seems to need to be in the game at all times. He was Australia’s second longest serving prime minister, surely he should be sitting around jacking him self off to that, instead he feels the need to go from the shit storm of Australian politics to the brain fuckery of the United Nations of cricket. Now, after getting shafted royally he has decided to stay on. He is like one of those annoying opening batsmen who are 43 not out in the second innings after following on 300 runs behind. His side are 8 wickets down, but he won’t hit out and make it exciting, instead, even though he can’t win the game or make a hundred, he is going to sit around and just annoy everyone watching.
Perhaps the ICC would work better without a President. The new president is part time, lets make the next one, casual, and the one after that a pot plant.
No one can object to a pot plant running the ICC, it feels like that has been happening for years anyway.
