Ceci has nailed the whole Jimmy Anderson crisis in picture.
I do love how this story spread on twitter, first Jimmy was dead, 90 minutes later he was sore, and two hours after that he was having coffee with a team mate.
In completely unrelated news, some men take a rib out to self fellate.
Was forging a great career for himself as a male model when England gave him a chance. He chose cricket, as nothing puts a strain on your back more than the strain of catwalk shows. When he is swinging the ball there is a sense that he can get anyone out in the world. When he is not he becomes philanthropic and gives runs away at record rates. Holds some sort of bullshit batting record that means shit. Has one of the most unintentionally comical fast bowling scowls in modern cricket.
Have now added the image as a major English newspaper is going to show it tomorrow. But you must admit, that while making a photo of someone being fat and then sending it to them is stupid, the photo shop skills are there to see.
Recently Tim Bresnan started tweeting.
Realising that I know very little about the guy other than the fact he doesn’t tuck his shirt in when he comes in to bowl I decided to follow.
Mostly his tweets are part of a three way conversation with Swanny and Jimmy.
When I say conversation I mean a three way sniping session at each other.
I don’t follow Jimmy, but Swanny can’t go a tweet without bagging Bresnan’s curvy nature, poor Samit Patel.
Bresnan calls Swann and Jimmy the dipshit brothers, and referred to buying a joke book or personality for Jimmy.
It is just three mates taking the piss.
Then people started putting photoshop photos of Tim up.
His favourite was one by Mel who comments here. Tim loved it.
Another one drew this comment:
“@DarranGoulder don’t mind my mates dishing it out but who the fuck are you.Crawl out off your mums basement U KNOB”
The photo in question was one of Tim Bresnan as a slightly larger than life character. It was excellent photoshop work, but Tim probably wasn’t expecting someone to send him a photo of him as a digitally altered fatty.
What I liked about the whole episode was the rage Bresnan showed.
There was no Phil Hughes’ manager and IT worker tweeting, this was Tim being pissed off.
The problem with opening yourself up to this public conversation is that if your mates call you fat, your twitter followers are going to do the same and there is a chance that people will question your overall fitness.
Sure it was an over the line photo, but when you see Swanny tweet after tweet say that Bresnan is fat, you get the feeling that he can handle it.
I’d suggest by the fact the tweet finished with a capitalisation of U KNOB, he can’t. Which is fair enough, but he has opened this up, not Darran Goulder who has too much time on his hands and a better than average grasp of photo shop.
Will be interesting to see if the three are allowed to continue their banter* by the ECB especially if they react badly to criticism of their performance.
Having dealt with the ECB I’d say they frown on the phrase U KNOB, capitalised or not.
*By banter I mean Swanny calling Bresnan a fat cunt, saying he eats a 100 sausages or a whole cake, and that he gets violent when the donuts are all gone.
So did anyone notice anything significant at Edgbaston yesterday evening?
Michael Clarke edging his way towards 100 with more nerves than an 18 year old virgin approaching someone else’s groin for the first time? Well, yes, but that’s a bit obvious.
Graham Manouououououououououououououou suffering? Well, only if you were quick – a quick bit of hand holding and a paracetemol and he was OK.
Ravi Bopara doing his best Shane Watson impression? Shame he didn’t do it with the bat instead of the ball.
None of these, though, are significant things. Think back. Who was in charge on the field during that last hour?
Still confused? Allow me to answer, in best Hong Kong Phooey style:
Was it Strauss? No.
Was it Cook, the supposed leader-in-waiting? No.
Was it Collingwood, the failed one day captain? No.
Was it Jimmy, the mild mannered quick bowler? Could be!
Yes, if you watched carefully, it was Jimmy Anderson who was setting Bopara’s fields, who was standing at slip and who seemed to be in control. Now this could be mere perception, or it could be right but mean nothing. But Anderson is one of the few players who can be sure of their place in any England side, he’s arguably their best all round fielder and will also be their most experienced quick bowler once Flintoff is gone. It is a long time since England had a bowler as a captain, but England need someone to at least lead the one day side. Would it be too far fetched an idea to think that Anderson could do that?
