Tagged with irfan pathan …

Apr 03 2008
Uncategorized

India served like a japanese turkey

This is my kind of test match.

Destruction.

Carnage.

Ganguly facing two balls.

India’s top orders being sliced open like an anime character on Christmas morning, whatever that means.

This is test cricket, India humiliated for 76.

Only Irfan Pathan is left alive, and at better than a run a ball. Well done.

Dale Steyn the over excitable Chris Gayle hating fast bowler picked up what his Rainbow Coalition fast bowling partner started, and finished with 5 for 23.

The evil supervillain Morne Morkel took two wickets whilst stroking his white cat, and old man Ntini started it all off with 3 wickets.

India didn’t make it to lunch.

According to Homer’s sources, Anil wanted the pitch shaved and the groundsman said “No, No, No”.

That grounds man may be lynched by parochial Indians, but in my eyes, he is a legend, and probably soon to be a martyr.

Now if South Africa get bowled out for 33 I will be glowing.

www.cricketwithballs.com… We constantly get sodomized down the legside
Tagged , , , , , ,
Jan 21 2008
zimbabwe

middle order arson

Zimbabwean cricket is in a horrible place.

Mugabe is still doing his Stalin impression.

Sean Ervine is playing for West Australia.

Henry Olonga is giving motivational speeches.

And the average age of their playing list is foetus.

But as horrible as all that is, there is something worse, former middle order player Mark Vermeulen has burnt down Harare stadium.

Somehow I missed this, as it happened in 2006. but now its hitting the courts, therefore the news, and then me.

Poor Vermeulen has never been the same since the Indians, playing outside the spirit of the game, hit him in the head with a cricket ball, a small leather and cork combination that hurts like a motherfu(c)ker.

Irfan Pathan, the scary medium pace bowler, ruined Vermuelens life when he hit him in the head during a meaningless one dayer at the Gabba.

Since then he has had mental problems, epilepsy and arson related court dramas.

All of these problems are because of India and One day Cricket.

So it goes without saying that both India and One Day cricket should be banned immedialey.

I mean for all Australia’s sledging, they don’t cause players to burn down stadiums.

Vermeulen is pretty much my age, well according to here he is 27, 28 here and here 29, but roughly my age, so his mental breakdown from cricket is tragic.

A real cricket tragic perhaps.

As if Zimbabwe didn’t have enough bad press.

www.cricketwithballs.com… We constantly get sodomized down the legside
Tagged , ,
Jan 17 2008
Uncategorized

India are onnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn fire

…
Not literally, but in a cricket sense.

No need for flame retardants.

On a day when 15 wickets fell, only 33.33.33.33 percent of them were Indians.

Pathan came back from obscurity, and after taking 2 wickets, even threw in a sledge or two.

RP continued to bowl like a man fighting for a bollywood contract.

And the Sharma Mantis did some of the best celebrating this side of Narre Warren.

Australia collapsed under good swing bowling, see here, but mostly they just collapsed.

Some had back luck, Rogers got a dodgy decision, and Jacques got a jaffa.

Some played weird shots, Pontings attempt at not quite defending or leaving and King Probots waft.

But the rest fell to good quality nuts.

Gilly’s was a classic, Roy’s was clever and Clarke’s, whilst predictable, was very well executed.

So why is India suddenly good, I put the blame solely on Sehwag.

The slapper from slaphadabad (or Dasher from Dehli) is back and he makes India look like a real cricket side.

First morning of the test Australia got pummelled, India had the momentum. No offence to Dravid and Jaffer, but sitting on your bat watching Mitchell Johnson bowl wide of off stump is not productive cricket.

Sehwag got India off to the best start of the series, quickly, and he didn’t even make a real score.

Then in comes Pathan, the bastard child of Vass and Akram, and he has remembered how to bowl, RP continues the good work and all of a sudden India are in the box seat.

They didn’t even collapse when Roy and Gilly started handing them their own @ssholes.

Instead they continued to bowl well, knowing that eventually the wickets would come again.

Sure they got a bit defensive with their field, but it wouldn’t feel like India on tour if they attacked all the time.

They couldn’t lose from here, could they?

www.cricketwithballs.com… We constantly get sodomized down the legside
Tagged , , ,
Dec 09 2007
Uncategorized

600 more reasons

I mentioned this last test, but with India doing it again it’s obviously still relevant.

India kept batting until they made 626, all out, this time it looks as though it was for Pathan to make his hundred.

Fine, he is a talented young player, that I certainly like to watch, and this hundred may accelerate his progress.

But, isn’t the most important thing to win test matches?

India batted on too long last test, and the result was a draw. Its unnecessary, and whilst I understand that India may be looking at shutting Pakistan out of the match, they are also playing with fire.

Winning is a habit, good teams don’t go out on the field to draw matches, they go out to win every match.

I don’t think it’s a good sign for India if Pakistan draw this match.

Sure the Indian fans will be happy, first home victory in blah blah years, but do they really want to travel to Australia having beat a heavily depleted and slightly deflated Pakistan side 1-0.

Especially with Australia beating a better side 2-0 in a two test series.

Batting too long is a habit of Indian teams, it cost them the series victory the last time they were in Australia.

With world wickets as flat as they are, declarations have never been so important, you can’t afford to keep getting them wrong.

www.cricketwithballs.com… We constantly get sodomized down the legside
Tagged , , ,
Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 9,049 other followers