Well Pitched have come up with an eloborate explanation for the Fake IPL Player.
I don’t know if it is true.
But I figured if I mentioned it I might get more hits.
EDIT: The group that Well Pitched talks about as proof that SRK was involved (although Q never says they actually are the fakester) is son of bosey, who have denied it is them.
Like some wanky film student who has spent too much time watching, Apocalypse Now, Rififi and The Third Man, the Fake IPL player turns out to be a shadow.
Yawn.
He was cool when he started, but the blog jumped the shark, raped the shark, convinced the shark it loved it and then had kids with the shark around the time noted author Aakash Chopra (aka Shakespeare) was sent home.
The fakester who has been talking about how he will out himself for weeks now, decided to hold onto his identity, and not get vilified by the press.
Say what you want about me, fucker I might be, but i don’t hide my identity when i slag people off.
While all this is happening, the real test blogger, Iain O’Brien has a new website.
Sick and tired of working for google he is now at iainobrien.co.nz.
Ofcourse the problem with Iain isn’t that he is fake, it is that he is real, all too real.
Obviously.
Yet I still get emails and the odd comments asking, and or suggesting.
Most of you would have already guessed this, as I’m not Indian. Do you have any idea how much work would be required to be an Australian and make it feel like it was Indian. Way more than I could be bothered.
I also have no contacts inside Kolkata, Mott and Hodge aren’t mates of mine (even with their Victorian connections), and the rest of the Kolkata Australians are from New Texas (QLD), so doubtful they would feed me any information.
Also if it were me, there would be way more bagging of Sourav Ganguly and Brad Hodge, WAY MORE.
I can understand the similarities, the focus on sex, the nicknames, and the complete lack of respect for wankers.
But really, I can’t be bothered with all that work for another blog, for a book, well maybe.
For the latest developments in the Fake IPL Player Saga click here.
“P.P.P.P.P.S. I have decided to retire from all forms of cricket after IPL. I will disclose my identity on our last match day.”
fake ipl player
Which is interesting, I spose.
Hopefully who ever it is makes it that far.
But the most interesting thing in the latest post is his bagging of New Zealand.
“The Kiwi coach has joined us to observe and learn from us. As if one mole wasn’t enough, our team now has invited a new one. Whatever prompted Mr Genius to choose our team over others, what’s now clear is why New Zealand is placed 8th in the ICC rankings.”
Nice.
Although let’s give Moles some credit, perhaps he went to KKR to see how too many coaches can ruin a cricket team.
Also thanks to the website who offered me a chance at covering a live chat of the fakester, but I might give it a miss after reading this,
“P.S. I think some website’s been advertising that I am appearing for a live chat. That’s not true. Under the circumstances I can’t live chat at all and nobody knows who I am.”
The correct answer to that is much less than Rahul Dravid makes.
That is not the answer Shah Ruh Khan wants to hear though.
He is reportedly trying to sell off his share in his blingy failure.
Ditch and run, son.
Can’t blame him, while the business side of Kolkata Knight Riders seems to be working ok (although their merchandise section on the blog is not working, I want a KKR head band god damnit), his nack for running a sporting team seems to be on par with George W Bush.
Kolkata have more coaches than players, they have a head coach, and a header coach.
They spent 600 grand on a bloke they don’t play.
Murali Kartik couldn’t get a game until they were finished.
Dropping Sourav as captain made sense on last years form, but it seems to have sapped the life out of the franchise.
And Prince Brendon doesn’t have the ego to take over a team with the Giant Alien Lizard in it.
Throw in the fact that SRK was starting to resemble a dildo, and you can’t blame him for leaving.
I am prepared to make an offer for the franchise, SRK, I will give you one used spoon for the team.
It may be your best offer.
For the latest developments in the Fake IPL Player Saga click here.
It’s obvious isn’t it?
After years of licking at the anal passage of Indian cricket, Bhogle just thought fuck it.
Those rude millionaire cricketers, and Johnny come lately Bollywood clowns have been cashing in on the IPL like it’s their personal Orgy, while Harsha has to sound like he takes it serious.
So Bhogle just bogarted their tournament with the truth in blog form.
Harsha knows the media, man, he is the media, he milked this shit for all its worth.
When I confronted him with my theory he said this,
“Fuck Lalit, SRK and all those molly coddled bastards, yes I am he, I am the Fake IPL Player, bow down at my magnificence you cock suckers.”
Personally I can’t believe I was the first one to work this out, I mean the fakester has all the hallmarks of Bhogle.
A sly humour with sexual overtones.
A cunning tongue that slams down at the opulence of the rich and pampered.
And a chip on his shoulder of a man who believes his talent and brain are worth as much or more than some idiot who can cover drive.
It was about time Harsha snapped back, you can only spent so much time at the feet of Gods before you get the urge to piss on their toes.
Harsha, you fake IPL mother fucker, we salute you.
For the latest developments in the Fake IPL Player Saga click here.
Earlier today I saw that Aakash Chopra and Sanjay Bangar had been sent hom from the IPL, more importantly, the Kolkata Knight Riders.
At the time my fake IPLdar was beeping, but then i thought i was being too suspicious.
Then Well Pitched put an article up saying they were thinking along the same lines.
One website has already outed these two as the players behind the fake.
After i read that I went and checked out the two players in this tournament.
Aakash Chopra played in the first two games.
Game 1: 19 April, 11 off 19.
Game 2: 21 April, DNB.
He was replaced in the next game by Bangar.
Game 3: 23 April 2 off 9.
On the 23rd is when the rumours that the fake IPL player being caught first came out.
But think about this, Kolkata have played 3 games of cricket, these gusy haven’t missed a game, and now they are being sent home with this explanation.
“These [Chopra and Bangar] are two very good senior international players so John Buchanan and the team management thought that if they are not going to have the opportunity [to play] it is unfair to keep them around,”
No oppurtunity?
3 days ago Bangar was playing.
5 days ago Chopra was.
Bangar is an all rounder very much in teh same vein that ol’ fakey describes himself.
I don’t believe either of these guys are the fake IPL player, but Kolkata letting two players go right now does ring a few alarms.
Also the fact that both players are over 30 and have less to lose means they have to be considered, but they are more likely to be the inside moles than the actual fakester themselves.
Plus the fact I know who the Fake IPL Player is, and it isn’t them.
I will name the ‘player’ tomorrow.
For the latest developments in the Fake IPL Player Saga click here.
You can’t keep the fakester down.
I thought he was in Sachin’s bunker having his testicles separated from his body, but that may not be the case.
Probably not one of his better articles.
The most interesting part is the timing, while Ranadeb Bose is actually on the field.
It doesn’t mean much, you can set up a timer on blogger or someone else could be posting, but poetic timing nonetheless.
The good news is that he is back, because that fucken dog Bruno has been missing for way too long now.
For the latest developments in the Fake IPL Player Saga click here.
Second City were the website claiming that the Fakester was caught in a Durban Internet Cafe.
The player they suspected was Anureet Singh.
They have just updated their article, and said, “SecondCity somehow managed to reach the player in question Mr. Anureet Singh on phone who denied any such involvement just few minutes ago”.
What we need is a poster of all the IPL players, so that we can put an X through each player as they are proved not to be him.
So far we know it isn’t Brad Hodge, Anureet Singh, Ranadeb Bose, or Sanjib Sanyal, although we now suspect VVS Laxman.
For the latest developments in the Fake IPL Player Saga click here.
I don’t know, cause until yesterday I had never heard of him.
If it is him I will say this, its a pretty good name for a writer.
I’d buy a book written by a guy called Ranadeb Bose, wouldn’t you.
The only problem with it being Ranadeb Bose is that he is playing for the Kings XI Punjab tonight.
And how can you do that if the lawyers of SRK, Sachin and Gilly are pissing on your corpse?
Ofcourse his first problem not being killed by fans of SRK, Sachin or Gilly.
So it doesn’t look likely that it is him.
That the fake IPL player has been caught seems to be the only fact in the current story.
He has stopped writing.
Another Indian website was running that the KKR caught the fake ipl player red handed blogging up a storm in an internet cafe in Durban.
But almost all the other media outlets are saying that he is not a KKR player, so it seems doubtful that they found him.
Do they have hired goons sitting in every internet cafe in South Africa now?
Cause that would be cool, they should do that. .
