Tagged with deccan chargers

The IPL has started

There was Lionel Ritchie singing with his microphone turned down. And other western acts.

Some drag queen dancing acts, except with the drag queens.

Bollywood stuff seemed to be happening as well.

Costumes that some people were comparing to klu klux klan on twitter.

Then Ravi yelled.

Andy Bichel did some commentary, he sounded like Danny Morrison on ketamine.

Lalit was missing most of the time, but in his place was a lady in a red dress, an obvious homage to the Matrix.

Brad Hodge looked pissed off.

Many snatch shots of the cheerleaders, none on super slow mo, maybe next year.

Angelo Mathews continues to not exist.

The Chargers song was remixed, still shit though.

Owais Shah had cut down his sleeves to show off the guns.

There were time outs, but they weren’t strategically named, but they were strategically used.

The IPL has ads between the balls, they are louder and less awkward than the Channel 9 versions.

ITV brought out Hoggard, Hick and some dude and some Indian chick for their coverage. Hoggy was ok, the rest were ordinary and only the Indian chick had done any research.

Gilly seemed to keep hitting the ball in the air and not getting caught.

I never thought I’d say this, but I wanted fake smiles from SRK.

Rohit Sharma continues to vie for Indian batsmen most likely to be assassinated.

The game fizzled out.

The Windies beat Zimbabwe.

Nap.

The IPL has started, not with a bang, not with a whimper, but with a carefully stage managed event that had shit western acts, lots of dancing, two teams making decent totals and Andy Bichel.

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The Ultimate IPL Guide: Deccan Chargers

Former Beauty Queen

Porn Star: Adam Gilchrist

Always hard to look past Gilly. Will make one or two big scores, one or two cameos, and will fail the rest of the time.

Pole Dancer: Fidel Edwards

The most underrated bowler on the planet. Will bowl fast, will bowl straight, and will knock quite a few stumps down.

Boy Next door: Rohit Sharma

Has struggled for India of late, but will like playing without the excruciating pressure of playing for India. Can be explosive when he is let free.

Home Made/Amateur: Pragyan Ojha.

Delightful Indian spinner who’s been flirting with International cricket.

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Got any change?

Ever though to yourself, i’d like to be more involved in the IPL.

Got a spare 3 mill US Benjamins?

Go to ebay and pick up the major sponsorship of the Deccan Chargers.

It’s free shipping.

True.

You get use of image players, kinky.

100 seats at home games.

And the chance to say you are the Official club partner of the Deccan Chargers.

Worth every penny.

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Deccan Chargers are rubbish

I am switching allegiances now, well not to much switching allegiances, but I am suspending allegiances until the chargers get good, or I can make my mind up between the Punjabs or the Daredevils.

I do understand that the Punjabs are sh1t too, but the Chargers are really getting on my nerves.

Last night Glenn McGrath and his love children Maharoof and Asif tormented the Chargers with something called line and length. It’s an interesting theory that hasn’t been fully looked into for the IPL, but ol’ Pidge knows no other way.

Asif bowled particularly nice, and that is because he now has a robotic arm, like Luke Skywalker.

Maharoof, whom I complemented once before only for his form to completely disappear, is probably the nerdiest all rounder in the modern game. He runs into to bowl like a hall monitor with braces on, and he somehow geeks the batsman out, it’s brilliant.

With the bat only one man was required, Virender Sehwag, Vaas had him out plumb, but the umpire had none of it, and then he had him dropped, where the fielder had none of it.

So Sehwag went on his merry way, like Friar Tuck before him.

Other things I like about my possible new team is that they have great shirts, probably my favourite shirts of of all the shirts.

OK, that’s not saying much, but these shirts have a soccer/cricket hybrid thing happening and I like it.

Oh and Laxman cannot bat 3 for the Deccan Chargers anymore, he is as suited to batting at number 3 in a 2020 side, as I am writing for the Wollongong Christian scone making magazine.

Nothing to do with the game, but last night, the cheerleaders, and the naughty cameraman who gave us the best angle of all time. I think Robin Jackman had to call for the jizz mopper.

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Deccan Chargers promo Video

Seeing as though I am a film maker and a cricket writer I thought I’d give you my thoughts on the IPL team Videos.

Interesting, as for the first 30 seconds it’s just shots of bulls, some charging, some not.

Then a couple of shots of cricketers with a wild west type background, and Scott Styris is in it for 2 seconds.

Verdict – not great, but good choice of not having Styris in it for long.

Go boys.

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