Tagged with chucking …

Oct 13 2010
17 Comments
aussies

Nathan Hauritz must be banned from test cricket

During the last day’s play Nathan Hauritz committed cricket’s ultimate sin, chucking.

It was an obvious chuck as he tried desperately to get Australia back in the game.

The ball was the 15degree testing doosra.

The one cricket delivery that gets people bowling topless in Perth with white patches on their chest more than any other.

While some bowlers bowl this ball in such a way that it defeats the batsman, Hauritz’s versions just sort of limped down the wicket and it looked like Sachin knew he was bowling it before he did.

I noticed the doosra before the ball landed, I noticed it because Hauritz clearly changed his action and threw the ball.

Next to me was the bear from test match sofa, who also called the chuck, and then the doosra.  On twitter it seemed that only a handful of people mentioned it.  Google news also has no news of it.

Somehow this doosra has been lost while the media talked about Shane Warne and Ricky Ponting fighting over Hauritz’s stupid field placements.

This could be a conspiracy to cover up a doosra, or just star power overshadowing what to some people might be a fairly uneventful moment in cricket.

This is eventful, majorly eventful.  An Australian is bowling a delivery that Australian’s believe is a chuck.

He is also bowling it in a way that makes it look even more like a chuck that it usually does.

So there is only one thing to do, Cricket Australia must take Nathan Hauritz out of test cricket.

No testing, no remodelling of actions, no ban on bowling a doosra, Australia needs to get old school on this.

They need to treat Hauritz the same way two Victorians were once treated, by taking them out of cricket straight away without any sort of fair hearing.

The Meckiff/Corbett rule should be used so that all we have is some backroom whispers and then lack of Hauritz name on the team sheet.

It should happen just that quick and quietly, like a 1950s hit.

As Australians we take chucking very seriously, and if this means getting rid of our first choice spinner, well that is just the decision we will have to make to keep our integrity.

Sorry, Nathan, but you must go for the greater good.  As much as it pains me.

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May 12 2009
general balls

Offies beware: Doosra banned

Johan Botha’s doosra is illegal.

He is forbidden, with penalty of ass slapping, if he bowls it anymore.

Mickey Arthur seems to believe that this will not affect him much as it is not a ball he uses all that often.

Mickey Arthur also believes then when he dies he will send his skull to the raelians so that they can one day clone him and he can move to the Aliens home planet.

Ofcourse it will affect him, his change of pace and his doosra are what make him hard to score from, even though he still never gets wickets.

Anytime Botha flights the ball to a right hander he is now in danger of losing the ball.

Perhaps he will adapt.

But it will affect him.

There must be a few other offspinners around the world getting out the long sleeves, just in case theirs is next.

In other news, the wrong’un is still awesome, legal and beautiful.

Take that you dirty offies.

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May 01 2009
IPL

Australia has done it again, Kamran Khan called for chucking

Australia just couldn’t help themselves.

Knowing that one day they might have to face Kamran Khan, they have paid off various IPL cricket officials to report him.

Names of those taking kickbacks from Cricket Australia include: Rudi Koertzen (SA), Gary Baxter (NZ), and Amish Saheba (IND).

James Sutherland has said,

“Well he looked fast, and hard to handle, Shane informed us that one day, if he was ever selected, he may get wickets against Australia, so we did what we had to do”.

Sutherland’s honesty, shocking in itself, didn’t stop there.

“Obviously if he wasn’t from the subbie, we wouldn’t have rigged the system, but knowing that he was Indian made the decision easier.  Kamran’s action is dirty, brown, and crooked. Take Aaron Bird, he has a pure, clean and straight action, more Indian cricketers should copy him.”

Lalit Modi has also had to fend off rumours that Kamran was called just because the IPL were afraid that he would hurt himself with the fuck awful delivery stride of his.

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Apr 28 2009
general balls

The Young Offspinners Manifesto

Usually I help legspinners, but I’m in a good mood, so I thought I’d help out the lesser spinners.

If you’re a young kid with aspirations of playing for your country and tweaking the ball a bit, here is the 5 step plan on how to be an International offspinner.

Step 1:
Learn off spin, you don’t need to spin it sideways, but make sure you spin it enough that when it doesn’t spin it’s more noticeable than when it does.

Step 2:
Practice hitting the same spot outside off for hours on end. Learn flight, guile, drift, and all those other things Bishen Bedi likes.

Step 3:
Obtain a physical deformity in your arm. Get your older brother, that old dude you met from my space, or any school yard bully to beat your arm until you can’t straighten it. Under no circumstances should you ever be able to straighten your bowling arm. Ever.

Step 4:
Learn the Doosra, with your newly bent arm that should be pretty easy.

Step 5:
Now you know how to bowl off spin, you’ll need a thick skin for when you make the top level, so when you are practising your deliveries employ local kids to yell out chucker, cheating cunt, fucking poofter and no ball.

That should be enough.

You are now ready to be an international off spinner.

Good luck.

Tagged ,
Apr 14 2009
saffas

Botha called for flight flicking, again

Johan Botha, the man with the ugly bowling average and the uglier action, has been called for chucking, again.

Why bother.

We know what is going to happen, not much.

Does he chuck, FUCKING COURSE HE DOES.

But that doesn’t matter.

He will be back.

Off spinners with illegal actions are the cockroaches of international cricket, even if you squash one, there are like 83 more lining up to flight flick.

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Feb 17 2009
general balls

Australia catch up to the rest of world


Over the last few years other teams have been trying to catch up to Australia.

There is one place where Australia’s cricket remained firmly in the dark ages.

Chucking.

While the rest of the world moved on from “he has a bent arm, burn him”, Australia have been stuck there.

In 95 Murali was being called for chucking, and started the great debate,.

That year another cricketer was playing for Victoria, who had a far more traditional action, but once rumours of his bent arm started, and he was dumped from the Victorian team.

His name was Troy Corbett, and his cricinfo profile has no information at all.

He was in his early 20s, a left armer, and although his first class average was 40, his list A average was 10.

Victoria thought they had a real talent on their hands, he was about 23, and was good enough to play with Hughes, Reiffel, Dodemaide and Fleming.

But then he was gone.

From the time the rumour about his action made the papers,  seemed about 3 weeks.

He was never called, it was just a rumour, and the Vics just got rid of him.

As a teenager all I remember is how quick he disappeared off the face of the cricket map.

That is how it was done back then, no hearings, no tests, no fucking around, we think he chucks, fuck him off.

My dad thought it was eerie, as a couple of generations earlier Ian Meckiff was a left arm Victorian quick who was called four times in an over, Richie refused to bowl him, and his career was ended shortly after.

That is how it was done in the day.

Harsh, cold, and clean.

Now Australia has completely changed.

Meet Aaron Bird, as you can see on Moses’ site, his action is ugly, and he has been reported 4 times before.

FOUR TIMES.

And yet he has just made his first class debut.

New South Wales are behind him, as you can see from Tony’s blog.

Aaron is getting more support for his repeatedly reported action than any Australian bowler I know of.

The first time I saw Bird bowl up close was against Victoria in the 2020 final, and straight away I emailed Moses to say he had a shocking action.

Bird was born at the right time, by 98 Geoff Foley was called twice, and even though everyone thought he was a chucker, it took a bit longer to phase him out.

Foley never got this much support though, there was always whispers that certain Queenslanders didn’t like playing with a chucker.

Bird seems to have complete support.

I don’t know what 15% looks like, but if i faced Aaron Bird in a club game, I’d be very pissed off this chucker clean bowled me.

If they took four photo's of you, it added up to 16%

If they took four photo's of you, it added up to 16%

Australia has now caught up to the rest of the world.

Good for them.

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