Tagged with chris harris

What is worse? ICL or Jail

Old cricketers have a few options available to them.

Pundit, administracrat, coach, ICL player, or drug mule.

The first three require brains, or nude photos of important people, the last two don’t.

Had Chris Lewis played in the ICL he would not have trafficked illegal drugs.

If he was bowling to Craig McMillan and batting with Stuart Law he wouldn’t have time to put cocaine into cans and take it into the UK.

You can’t do both. Obviously.

The question is what is  worse, to be a drug mule or an ICL cricketer?

If Lewis had received a 6 month sentence, he could realistically be playing international cricket before the ICL players (talent, dedication and age not withstanding).

There is probably more money in playing for the ICL, if they pay you, not even Lalit can get you jail time for playing in it.

On the plus side prison uniforms are usually way more flattering than anything the IPL has.

The ICL has Mayanti Langer, in prison Chris Lewis is the Mayanti.

Going to prison gives you street cred, playing in the ICL means you hang with Chris Harris.

And in Prison you don’t have to deal with Tony Greig.

Chris Lewis has got it easy.

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The New Chris Harris

The only thing mysterious about Chris Harris was the fact that International batsman didn’t put every one of his balls into the crowd, or beyond.

That is not true, it was also mysterious that he has looked the same age for roughly ten years, and that age is 53.

His doorknob seamers had the slightest amount of fade on them, but he bowled a great length, was straighter than a Kentucky preacher, and was a clever cricketer.

All that being said, had he bowled in today’s twenty20 world, he might have had to bring spare balls to the ground with him.

He may have ended up as a batsman, just to stop lawsuits of the injured people walking past the ground.

There is a reason I mention him, Ajantha Mendis bowls at a similar speed, moves the ball about as much, and when you have worked him out the only thing left is to work out what stand to put him in.

For those who can’t pick him he is still deadly.

But when you can he is simply the new Chris Harris.

Our lord of Sehwagology can’t pick him, but he doesn’t need to, he just launches him into orbit.

The street smart batsmen who can’t pick him play him off the pitch, and milk him.

Once they work him out though, he goes the distance, the maximum, they moose him, and other stupid things the IPL commentators say.

In two of Mendis’ games he has gone for 38 and 39 without wickets, both times the batsmen have seemed to work him out, and then just got rid of him.

They have reduced a magical mysterious spinner to a balding pasty kiwi.

If I were David Gower I would say that cricket is a great leveller, instead I will say that I talk about Mendis in my book.

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The first final of the rabies league

I figured that since I was watching the ICL, I might as well tell you about it.

So click on read more for all the ICL goodness.

The Hyderabad Heroes were held back when they batted, or weighed down might be a better phrase, as Jimmy Maher just potted along at run a ball, when the pitch looked like a belter.

Thanks to the troglodydic all rounder Abdul Razzaq they put on 170 odd, but on the last 5 overs they should have had got a lot more.

Then Imran Nazir came out, and batted like a demon for 8 balls or so. Eventually Lahore found themselves at 3/136 needing a run a ball for the last 6 overs.

Then Chris Harris came on.

He bowled one of the overs of his life, and its been a long life.

Inzy and Mohammad Yousuf were at the crease and the game was over.

Harris came on and started off the over by bowling big Inzy with a skidder.

It was classic Harris, short of a length on the stumps, it was short enough that Inzy was eying which part of the crowd he was going to put it in, then it skidded, and bowled he was.

Then later in the over Lahore took another badly run run, so to speak, and the throw came in to Harris but it was miles from the stumps.

So Harris parried/bunted/bitchslapped the ball towards the stumps from about 2 metres away, running out Mohammad Yousuf.

Now that is an over.

Unfortunately it wasn’t enough from the grand old man, and Lahore got home at the first ball of the last over.

The Lahore Badass Mofo’s lived up to their name, the double hyphened Rana-ul-Naved gave Razzaq one of the loudest looking (I know) send offs ever.

And Razzaq got angry and just for a moment I thought there might be a chance of a little stoush.

This allowed Tony Greig to keep up with his anti-Pakistani propaganda.

“I’m afraid to say the scores are now level and Pakistan (not Lahore) are now going to win the game (because they are dirty), and when I say afraid to say, I’m afraid to say it because the Hyderabad heroes (they are good sports, which I have said many times) really have fought well (without cheating).”

He may not have made the (bracketed) comments.

But he was particularly anti-Pakistani today.

Not anti-Lahorian funnily enough.

It’s amazing he never seems to really bag Indians or Sri Lanka, he knows where he his bread is buttered.

Two more finals to go, plenty of time for Tony Greig to really stick the boot into the country of Pakistan.

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