Tagged with champion’s league …

Sep 24 2011
2 Comments
champion's league

Champions and their drinks

The word champion is interesting.

Cricket had a champions trophy, but no one seemed to care at all about that.

Now it has a champions league, and not that many people seem to care about that either.

Perhaps it’s just a problem with the word champion. Or a lack of apostrophe when using the word champions.

In today’s champions league match, NSWales took on Cape.

NSWales played their cherubesque keeper Daniel Smith, who is not only a now more occasional player for NSWales, but is also a playing coach for the Sydney Thunder later this year.

He doesn’t average more than 27 in any format of cricket, yet he never stops smiling.

He’s that sort really of dude, people seem to like him, he’s better than shit, but not great, and obviously knows enough about cricket to play at first class level despite a less than athletic physique.

Today he was sent in as the number 3 for NSWales.

It was hot.

While batting he was brought out a drink.

The person who brought out that drink was the Don Bradman of tailenders, Philip Joel Hughes.

A week ago Hughes was making 120ish against Sri Lanka in a test.

Now, he brings drinks to an assistant coach of a domestic t20 in a league of champions without apostrophes.

If that doesn’t make this league a champion’s league, I just don’t know what does.

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Sep 14 2010
13 Comments
champion's league, victorian bushrangers

how Victoria started me drinking

By losing.

That is how.

It has been a long time since I have seen the Vics play live, about 12 months.

These days I find out the result in full.

I don’t have to go through the pain of waiting of watching, listening or reading updates of how the game is.

I just crack up my phone, find the page and feel good or bad.

Yesterday I had to watch.

Seeing the first ball find the rope.

Then the first over costing 17 from Dirty Dirk Nannes.

I had to sit through both of Shane Harwood’s overs.

Everytime David Hussey made a questionable captaincy decision i saw it.

Davey Jacobs playing for an IPL contract.

Maxwell provide me with no reason to ever back him.

And the stumps doing more dancing than the paid “dancers”.

For most of the game I just felt ill.

I’m not used to this feeling anymore.

I didn’t know how to handle it.

My stomach couldn’t handle this.

At the moment I’d prefer this was a knock out tournament, I don’t need my ass inverting 3 more times as I watch the Vics play.

Now, it is true that I could just not watch.

But I can’t do that either, it just isn’t right.

So instead I have bought some bourbon.

Cheap no name brand bourbon.

It shall get me through this tournament, I hope.

Or Victoria could start playing better.

But I trust the bourbon more.

Tagged ,
Oct 21 2009
champion's league, victorian bushrangers

Nathan Hauritz’s Revenge

It had to come eventually.

For  so long I have poured all kinds of shit on this little club offie.

He still survived.

He even took test wickets.

He cemented his place in the One Day side.

He even didn’t always look like a nervous wreck one six away from suicide.

Now his hate for me has made me so strong that he has taken down the one team i truly love, VIctoria.

That lickle fucker.

Two wickets in one over, and Victoria were dead.

He even took the piss by then bowling his second over for 12.

Nice touch.

I could see him on the bench mouthing “fuck you jrod” as Warner and Hughes smacked the Vics everywhere.

When he bowled Quiney with the arm ball you could his middle finger staring back at me on the screen, he knew i was watching, and he was making a statement.

Well played, Nathan.

You have won this time, but let’s see who gets the last laugh.

I just didn’t think the Victorian team would help Nathan get back at me.

Tagged , ,
Oct 20 2009
champion's league

thank you, lalit

It is easy to take the piss out of Lalit Modi.

Look he is a greedy wanker who once pleaded guilty to kidnapping.

Look he has paid people to listen to him now the camera is on.

Look he is talking on two phones at once.

Look at his face, he is clearly the Ricky Ponting of Sports Admin.

But, think about what he has done for us.

He has given us three cricket sides that cost roughly 300 Million USD to be put together.

Only 170 Million of that was on the Deccan theme tune.

Then he put these three teams into a tournament especially set up so that they would have a second chance to shine.

He invited others for the hell of it.

And then his 3 millionaire clubs all fell down.

Not one of these sides has even made the semi finals.

That is quite an effort.

Instead we have the great story of the Trinidad & Tobago team captained by the smooth drink of water that is Daren Ganga.

And 3 other teams.

Lalit, i thank you for allowing all of us to laugh at millionaires and IPL teams, while giving us the gift of Ganga.

You are truly a good hearted man.

Tagged , , ,
Oct 16 2009
champion's league

Moises Henriques is assaulted

Case # 09588460CPD Title Assault
Report # 09157760CPD.1 Subject 254 – Assault
Location Rajiv Gandhi International Stadium
City Uppal, Hyderabad Zone 7
Precinct 13 District 160
Occurred 16/10/2009
 Between N/A
Report Date 16/10/2009 11:00:08 PM
Reported By Sergeant Jrod Badge 1331

The victim stated that he was in Rajiv Gandhi International Stadium at the above location on the above time and date.

The victim stated that he was asked to bowl by his captain (SK) he was when savagely beaten for 4 or 5 times by Suspect 1 (KP).

The victim stated that he advised the captain that he had been beaten.

The victim stated that captain advised him that he would have to go back to face up to the suspect.

The victim then said that the Suspect 1 then grabbed him and and beat him three more times around the head, then suggested the victim leave.

The victim’s teammates then carried the victim off the ground.

The captain then advised the victim that he was a disgrace to his uniform.

The victim then used profanity towards the captain.

To prevent an escalation the victim’s teammates stepped in and handed the victim to local ambulance staff.

The victim has submitted this as evidence.

Tagged , ,
Oct 10 2009
champion's league

India are shit at T20 cricket

I don’t believe this title.

Or even agree with it.

Right now it is making me laugh, so I couldn’t help myself.

When the IPL teams lost to South African and Australian teams i thought it was fair enough, they are quality teams.

But this was SOMERSET.

I thought they were the worst side in this competition, and they just beat the Deccan Chargers, winners of the last IPL.

Deccan has their own song, Somerset is sponsored by eggs.

Do you see the difference.

This is an amazing result.

If these were normal Indian clubs from the Ranji trophy it wouldn’t be that funny.

But these are fake plastic teams owned by magnates and collective wankers with big troughs of cash to dip into at any time, so the schadenfreude is monstrous.

Right now I demand that the Lalit Modi poll be re-taken, surely 82fucken% of people don’t think he is the saviour of shit right now.

Maybe Twenty20 will save cricket.

One IPL loss at a time.

Dine out on this cricket lovers, as, sadly, the IPL teams will win games, but not as many as they thought.

Is it too late to replace these teams with a Ranji team, just so Indians can save face…

Or should we start to bag the underperforming international players, their money grubbing nature is ruining the young pure cricket players of India.

Either way, I am still laughing.

Eggs.

Tagged
Oct 09 2009
champion's league

IPL teams to boycott remaining Champion’s League matches

Controversy has hit the Champion’s league with the IPL franchises from Bangalore and Delhi deciding to pull out of the competition.

The organisers of the tournament are in shock, and have started making calls to other non Pakistani 2020 domestic teams to see if they can fill in.

The move comes after a contract dispute between the Champion’s League and the IPL teams.  Originally the teams were promised that they would be the best sides in the competition. It became clear to Delhi and Bangalore in their first games that this was not the case.

They shared their reservations with Lalit Modi and other key members of the organising committee on Friday night, but it appears that the talks broke down almost before they started.

Amongst the revelations is that both sides believe they were guaranteed semi final places by key officials, but there is no paperwork that backs up this claim.

There is no word yet on what Deccan will do, they are still yet to play their first game, but as some of their players were overheard saying they considered their first game a bye, you would assume they are still happy to go ahead in the tournament.

This is a blow for the tournament that is still reeling from the fact that Shaggy was the best artist they could get for the opening ceremony. With reports coming in that the crowd for the first game that had no Indian teams participating, NSWales Vs Diamond Eagles, was 11 people until the 13th over, this is the last thing this exciting new venture in cricketainment would want.

Indian fans are upset too.  Being that 82% of them voted Lalit Modi the saviour of Indian cricket, they cannot believe that he would let this happen.

At least one Indian politician has called for the tournament to be scrapped and for Lalit Modi to be sacked.

Champion’s League officials are working through the clock to try and keep the tournament alive, Lalit Modi was least seen talking on three mobile phones at the one time.

EDIT: I can’t believe I have to say this, but this is satire.

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Oct 09 2009
champion's league

lucky lalit

I want Lalit Modi’s luck.

Twice now he has started a new tournament and some random dude with no affiliation to him has lit the stadium on fire.

Come on.

When I was a kid any time something happened out of the ordinary in a Kerry Packer series my father would yell that the game was fixed.

He was convinced that any favoured team that was losing, sitters that were dropped or reckless shots must have been because Kerry Packer wanted intrigue, close games or upsets.

My dad’s hatred of Packer was pretty intense and often skipped over logic.

It is also how many people think of Lalit Modi.

Even those who don’t know about his scandalous past.

So now that Prince Brendon and the Caped Cobra Duminy have provided his tournaments with kick-ass panty-dropping show-stealing chicken-molesting opening games will people start to question Lalit’s luck?

I’m not sure how you rig a match so that JP comes out and hits 99 off 50 odd balls, but I say if he can do it then he has earned his millions.

During most of the first Champion’s League match I was snoozing.

Ross Taylor seemed to move the total beyond a nervy Caped Cobra’s line up.

But just when it looked like his new tournament was going to start with a nothing game JP took over and I think, although I am not sure, Harsha Bhogle might have soiled himself in excitement.

He said it was the best innings he had ever seen.  I assume he meant in the Champion’s league.  Or in the last 3 days.

Two new series, two attention seeking opening games, if he isn’t lucky, and doesn’t rig them, then he must have sold his soul.

Tagged ,
Oct 07 2009
blogs, champion's league

The Champion’s league preview

I haven’t seen all of the teams play in the champion’s league, but I did do a review on the two Australian teams for Holding Willey.

In the same post is a review of the English and Indian sides.

Go check it out.

Tagged
Sep 15 2009
champion's league, pakistanis

Pakistan are shit at 2020 cricket

simply the best, better than all the rest, except pakistanis

I am starting to wish the Champion’s League* people had an asterisk on all their marketing.

I love the idea of this tournament, but it isn’t only champions, because runners up are involved.

And it isn’t only the best, because the best performed international side in 2020 world thingies, one title, two finals, doesn’t even have a fucked side in.

If anyone deserves the title champions it this format it is them.

That is the one thing stopping me from peeing myself in excitement over this tournament.

Australia, South Africa and England all have two sides in this tournament, and none of them have even made the final of the world t20 yet.

England may never reach it.

Pakistan’s style of play was invented years ago hoping that one day 2020 cricket would be invented.

They are the kings, even the first IPL title was won with two Pakistanis in the side.

Australia have ignored imports for years in domestic cricket, this year their 2 of the sides had Pakistanis in them.

So this is not a complete Champion’s league, it is an almost Champion’s league.

Although that won’t look good on the poster, so instead they should start a campaign of propaganda informing the general cricket public that Pakistan are shit at 2020.

Here is a starter pack:

Show Dirk Nannes bowling Afridi.

England beating them in the first game of the tournament.

Pictures of Misbah Ul-Haq’s ass.

And an endless loop of Inzy running in slow mo with Baywatch music in the back ground.

Imagine it, Inzy close up, his face covered with sweat, his moobs jiggling in green and the music slow fades in…

Some people stand in the darkness
Afraid to step into the light
Some people need to help somebody
When the edge of surrender`s in sight

Don`t you worry
It`s gonna be alright
Cause I`m always ready
I won`t let you out of my sight.

*The Champion’s League should not be confused with the ICC Champion’s trophy which should be confused with a real tournament.

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