This was up on Page 2 of cricinfo the other day, but there is never too much Chadwick love.
There are people who are up in arms about the West Indies sending out a third-grade team in place of the normal underachievers they pick. “They is ruining my favourite tournament,” said the crazy bearded guy who yells at his dog from down the road. The West Indies board obviously doesn’t care about sullying the good name of the ICC by picking this team for such an “important” tournament.
This is a Champions Trophy, so it has pissed off some people that seven teams have picked their best players and one team has done a lucky dip. Others are angry that Bangladesh beat this current West Indies line-up and they didn’t get the call up.
I can understand people’s anger. Other than fulfilling the role of the minnow of this tournament (a worthy role), West Indies do seem to have no redeeming features.
That is not quite true, though. What this West Indies team has is fresh names of pure awesomeness.
West Indies have always had a fine tradition in cricket names. Sonny Ramadhin. Nixon McClean. Vic Stollmeyer. Lendl Simmons. Brenton Parchment. Ryan Ramdass. The team currently in exile was poorly named. Shivnarine Chanderpaul aside.
What this monumental balls-up by the WICB has done is put a whole host of new names into the international cricket world. Who wouldn’t want to support an underdog with players named like this?
They are captained by a guy called named Floyd Reifer. I don’t need to point out the reason why that is funny. And if I do, I can’t on a family website.
Then he throws the ball to Kemar Roach (see above).
Their best bowler in the tournament has been a guy called Gavin Tonge. A sub-editor’s dream name. Gavin Tonges them. Tonge licks India. And if he does well in tandem with Kemar, Roach Tonge destroys Australia.
While we have all grown in love for the large, angry praying mantis that is Sulieman Benn (not a bad name in its own right), his replacement in this team is named Nikita Miller. The name Nikita stands out on a scorecard. I have only heard of two Nikitas – Elton John’s Nikita, who is a Russian soldier Elton has a thing for, and Luc Besson’s La Femme Nikita, who was an anti-heroine on heroin turned French government assassin. Now there is the offspinner who made a fifty against the Pakistanis. You need to be something special to have this name.
All these names are good, but the last one is my favourite: Chadwick Antonio Kirkpatrick Walton. By day he is a wicketkeeper who likes short sleeves and making first- and second-ball ducks, but by night he is a millionaire playboy from Boston swanning around town in a brown three-piece suit during the 1920s, showing off his two Olympic gold medals, inventing the laser harp and taking the ladies to his island on the plane he made and flies. I decided to like this guy from the moment I saw the name Chadwick.
Yes the players’ strike sucks, and yes we hate the WICB right now, but try and frown when saying the name Chadwick Antonio Kirkpatrick Walton.
