Tagged with cameron white …

Nov 09 2008
general balls

the day that was

Australia

Australia hit the snooze button today, at least they got some rest for the next test… oh.

India

India went all out defense after all out attack, and it worked, which is weird, as India usually look at their worst when the defend.

They did pick the best two batsmen to tie down, as sometimes those 2 do it just for kicks.

Who is in front

India, and being that they coulnd’t play Krejza as stupid again, they should stay there with a draw or a victory.

Play of the day

Has to be the run out of Hussey.

It was a run out of chance and great reflections, but its real comedic value lies in Hussey’s face as he suddenly works out that the ball is in Vijay’s hand.

Priceless.

Testicular moment of the day

Dhoni, 8-1 fields may divide opinions, but they take balls to set, even if they get a bit tedious after a while.

Working Class man of the day

Cameron White has probably never batted slower.

He really stuck it out, and all he needed was someone to really stay with him and he could have given India a real scare.

Michael Vaughan award

Look perfect in defence, and still get bowled.

Congrats Shane, you have joined rarefied company.

I believe the Suave one would say, Fail.

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Nov 08 2008
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Australia bat on lithium

How to win a test match, with New Australia.

Make 166 runs in 85 overs on the third day, to lull the opposition into a true sense of security.

Brilliant.

Yes there are reasons.

India bowled defensibly.

The moon is in it’s block till death position at the moment.

And it is day of the wombat I am sure.

But what the fuck were they doing?

Everything was so good yesterday, they got to 200 at like 4 an over.

Then it all went wrong.

You expect King Probot Mike Hussey to bring the scoring down, that is his thing.

But Haddin and Cam?

What the fuck is going on?

Is Tim Neilson putting rohypnol in their cereal?

I have seen Haddin and Cam bat a lot, but in this series it’s as if they are some photo copied version of themselves.

Why pick attacking players, and hold them back.

Surely this is not the players doing, I don’t believe Brad Haddin even knows how to defend.

This was a tactic, because everyone did it.

It wasn’t even just these guys, it was Clarke, Watson, Krejza and Johnson.

Johnson, the man who slaps the ball to all parts, prodding like a turd with pads on.

For fucks sake man, you aint a batsman, you is a hitter, not a bad one at that.

A quick 40 odd could have given us the edge.

The only edge Australia have now is the razor blades all Australian fans got out whilst watching this days play.

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Nov 06 2008
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Own up

Jason Krejza is no superstar.

Obviously.

But he already looks more suited to India than Lee or Clark.

When Krejza was picked to tour I wasn’t that unhappy.

I thought he should have got the gig before Casson, and he did.

Then he got smashed in the warm up game, and all the good things I have said about him, and there were a couple, were forgotten by me.

Suddenly the White & Watson combination looked better, than Krejza and anyone.

Watson and White, for all their average bowling, have taken 11 wickets in the series, which as the joint 4th bowler is better than Lee and Clark.

Both of them have been handy with the bat, without dominating.

But they weren’t going to cover the shortfall of the 2 main bowlers not getting any wickets.

Krejza was the risk Australia needed to take to win this test.

Once upon a time would have taken it.

Not now, in this day and age they would have weighed up all the probables, and decided White was less risky.

The only risk they took in the first 3 tests was on Clark’s elbow, and that failed in the 3rd test.

Now, with the series almost gone, Krejza comes in.

And he performs, maybe not at Ashley Mallett levels, but he took more wickets than the rest of the Australians put together.

Australia was too slow to adapt.

The other added bonus of having Krezja play was that Cameron White bowled well.

Stripped of his role as number one spinner, Cam bowled quite well, as being second string spinner is his thing.

So now that we know that Krejza can bowl in India, why has it taken Australia so long to bring him in?

And who made the decision?

Was it the selectors or Ricky?

Someone needs to own up to this, if you want to be the big cheese, you have to own up to your mistakes as well as your successes.

But why do I get the feeling that no one will put their hand up for this one.

I would have picked him for the 3rd test, instead of Clark, even i can admit that was too late, and he should have come in before that.

We all make mistakes boys, but owning up to them wont kill you.

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Nov 04 2008
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time to end the big bear experiment

No one wants a Victorian in the test team more than I.

Sorry Bill, but it is true.

Victoria has two test standard players, unfortunately neither of them are in India.

What we have is a promising young bowler, with a heart the size of a normal heart, but he can bowl long spells.

And a batsmen who use to bowl.

I love Cam.

He is a brilliant captain, one hell of a fielder, and he can really bat.

He used to be able to bowl.

Then something happened, it went away.

That is ok, i still love him.

But if Australia want to draw this series, and keep the trophy, then Cam needs to go.

I think, considering the amount of bowling he did last year, he has done a good job, but he is not a proper spinner.

And he knows it.

And Ricky really really knows it.

Everyone except for Sachin knows it.

So as much as i love him, Australia have to let him go.

Time to let Krejza out of the gimp closet.

Even if he bombs so bad that it hurts our eyes, it doesn’t really matter if Australia lose 2 nil or 1 nil.

So now that Cam has shown that the only thing he can spin to victory is a frisbee (not sure what that means) Krazy Krejza has to come in.

He may not take anymore wickets than Cam would, but its worth a go.

Ofcourse Punter would have to dump his new best mate, and that is never his thing.

This post really hurts me by the way.

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Oct 18 2008
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The big bear, the sizzler and an under performer

Cameron White is a part timer with one test behind him.

Peter Siddle is a debutante.

Between them they took 5 wickets.

The rest of the attack, Lee, Johnson, Watson and Clarke combined for 4.

Take out Johnson, and the other 3 have one.

Clarke is a part timer who has been given the keys to his dads new Porsche, but can’t drive a stick.

So he is forgiven.

Watson, is Watson, and should be generally ignored.

But Lee, the man who wants the mantle of worlds best quick bowler, needs to step up.

Johnson, Siddle, Khan and Sharma have out bowled him in this test.

Other than Sharma, none of those bowlers have more talent than Lee.

And Sharma, as impressive as he is, is a long way short of being the bowler Lee has become in the last 18 months.

Right at the moment he is the best quick in world cricket, so he needs to bowl like it.

If Peter Sizzle can take 3 wickets, Lee should be able to at least match that.

I understand that this is Lee’s first test tour to India, but he has been to India more than any Australian ever.

I think he has dual citizenship.

If he wants to be the man, then he needs to perform when the chips are down.

And the chips is down.

Being the strike bowler for a test team is not an easy job, but this is the time to strike.

Its unfair to Judge him on 3 innings, but Australia is behind, and their main bowler has not fired.

Meanwhile a bunch of Victorians who no one wanted are performing above expectations.

Surely that must piss Lee off enough that he takes some wickets.

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Oct 17 2008
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The twilight zone continues

There is a glitch in the matrix.

There isn’t supposed to be Victorians playing for Australia.

But this year, we had Brad Ego play in the Windies.

The Big Bear Cam White playing in this very series.

And now Peter Sizzle (Siddle) is in the test team.

How could this be?

Was there not a NSWelshman available every time?

Well yes actually, but Merv is on the case now, and that Moustache is getting the job done.

With Brad Hodge, Merv couldn’t take the credit, Brad has a test double century and was also a fair chance to be a back up batsman.

With Eyelids Pattinson he couldn’t really take credit, being that he played for England.

With Bryce McGain’s selection in the touring squad, Merv couldn’t take the credit because he was simply the best spinner in the country.

With the Big Bear’s selection he couldn’t take the credit, because the bear has been around for a long time, and has played for Australia before.

But with Peter Sizzle he can take the credit, bask in it, take a bath in it, pur it all over his nipples and smile about it for a very long time, because it’s all on him baby.

Everyone thought Doug Bollinger was the next in line to play for Australia.

Even he, he got his hair planted for just such an occasion.

He is the sort of man that trips over wickets getting out of bed, but the young woodchopping Dermot Brereton wannabe jumped the queue.

With a little help from a Victorian selector.

Peter Sizzle has only played 12 first class games, but if his bowling in the shield final didn’t win people over I don’t know what will.

I have never seen him not get wickets.

It’s like an illness for him.

The man eats up line and length, loves bowling the ‘heavy ball’ and when fit seems to be the sort of sick mother fucker who loves bowling masochistically long spells.

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Oct 15 2008
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cam exceeds nothing at all

Cameron White has exceeded all of Ricky Ponting’s expectations.

That can’t be hard.

Before this test Ricky Ponting had no expectations of Cameron White at all.

Actually he had less than zero.

He had minus expectations.

Every time they played together Ponting had a look of disdain on his face for Cam that is usually saved for democrats by republicans, or vice versa.

White never did his case any good, pointing out to Ponting every slight error that Ponting made.

Then he went to New Zealand and invented a new kind of legspin, one that relied on no two balls hit the same quarter of the pitch, it was revolutionary, not in a good way.

Ponting doesn’t like players he can’t trust, or young players coming in and calling the shots.

The big bear ticked both of these boxes.

So the fact that White mostly hit the spot, and didn’t bowl complete rubbish must have been like a Christmas eve hooker to Ponting.

I am sure White does not feel like Ponting is patronising him, and not just because Ponting can’t spell the word.

White and Ponting were sharing chuckles on the blancony on the 4th afternoon, they were like two school boy chums reminising about the old times.

RP: Remember when I thought you were a shit cunt.

CW: Yeah, but you liked me as a bloke.

RP: Nah, you seemed like a know it all.

CW: I thought you were a dummard.

RP: You bowled like shit.

CW: You captained like a retard.

RP: Now you bowl ok, I spose.

CW: And you captain better than then.

RP: See, you’re a better bloke than before.

CW: You too, I spose.

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Oct 15 2008
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the sensitive new age trundler

Cricketers used to be violent angry and cocky men.

That time has passed.

Mitchell Johnson has a tongue piercing.

And this is what Cameron White said about his first ever wicket.

“There was probably a bit of bad light around,”

“I’m not sure Sachin saw it too well.”

First the almost crying and now this.

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Oct 13 2008
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Australian spinners are crap, aliens told us so

Without Warne, MacGill, McGain & Hogg Australia has no spinners.

No one denies this.

Two part timers, and both very very part time.

Michael Clarke has a great record against India, and Cameron White has a great record against no one.

India had three spinners, one a champion, one with a great record at home and a part timer of real skill.

Of the 5 spinners used in the game, India had the top 3.

India’s spinners took 3/370.

Australia’s took 3/166.

You could say their were mitigating factors, like Bhaji bowling shit in the first innings, and Kumble’s shoulder.

But the fact is they bowled a lot more overs, and went for a lot more runs, than two part timers, one straight off a plane, and got as many wickets.

India’s quick bowlers on the other hand, for the amount of overs they bowled, did a great job.

If the spinners had matched their output India would have probably won the game by a fair distance.

Reputations are there for a reason and Kumble and Bhaji deserve theirs, and no one is saying that Michael Clarke and Cameron White are long term spinning options, or even really decent short term options, but you have to give them some credit in this match.

Imagine that.

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Oct 13 2008
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Double Standards for leggies

Sky has two men in suits talking about cricket when there is no play.

One is Ian Ward, who has a mole that I cannot and will not look past.

The other is Geraint Jones, Duncan Fletcher’s illegitimate child.

They talked about Cameron White.

Saying he didn’t look impressive, not enough maidens, that he had only been flown over as a replacement for Bryce McGann.

No that wasn’t a typo, that is what he said.

They showed a clip of White’s bowling, and they didn’t show one good delivery, you would have been forgiven for thinking he had Jason Krezja’s figures.

Then they discussed that he doesbn’t look like bowling Australia to victory, you don’t pick a batting all rounder to bowl you to victory, you pick him to chip in with the ball you stupid ass clowns.

They also went on about how he doesn’t spin it much, which he doesn’t, guess else who doesn’t spin it much, Kumble, Warne spun it side ways and found wickets harder to find than Hawiian pizzas in India.

Then to add insult to injury they were talking about India possibly bringing in Chawla in for Kumble, which is pretty unlikely. And Jones said I like him, he gives it a real rip.

Really?

Chawla gives it a real rip, and White doesn’t turn it.

One bowls toppies all the time, the other bowls wrong uns all the time.

They both don’t turn it, but one is a proper bowler and the other is a part timer at best, but neither of them rip it, and neither of them have to.

Ps, White got Sachin out today, stick that up your mole Ian Ward.

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