Tagged with billy bowden …

Oct 05 2010
65 Comments
aussies, indians

Billy Bowden saves test cricket

VVS Laxman might have won the game.

It was Billy who saved test cricket.

This man that I had the audacity to question, this quaint little weirdo, has gone and done what no else could do.

Make people (by people I mean Indians) watch test cricket.

If all umpires could contrive a game as well as Bowden (ably supported by his gimpy sidekick Gould) did, with mistake after mistake to ensure that India win all tests by one wicket, then the future of test cricket will be safe.

It will be more than safe, it will be untouchable.

Billy’s genius blends into an artform, like a Jackson Pollock painting, but each of them just put another layer of mystery, fun and genuine intrigue into a game of cricket that Australia tried to bat to death for a couple of days.

One less mistake from Billy or Gunner and Australia win. One more mistake, and Australia win. Billy had test cricket in his weirdly shaped hands, and he chose to protect it from all that is evil in the world.

For the casuals and heretics of the cricket world, seeing this can change their whole life.

Most of us watch test cricket our whole life for a test like this. Waiting and hoping that the game you skip work for is the one that will turn into the one wicket or one run ending.

The test match that just inches closer and closer to an improbable end, and then somehow, beyond all the odds, it is actually a close test that either side can win in one ball.

The mythical being that your dad and uncle talk about and you’ve never seen.

For us, this was religious.

This test was like touching Jesus’s cheek, rubbing Buddha’s nose, stroking Krishna’s earlobe or sniffing at Johnny Cash’s eyebrow.

While to some it may seem that  perfection was standing at backward square when the winning runs were scored, leaning gingerly on a bat, yelling at his young team mates, and batting like angels would do if they smoked, drank bourbon and sang the blues. They would be wrong.

VVS was a mere pawn in the game of Billy Bowden.

Billy Bowden, the saviour of test cricket, a man beyond laws, a rebel with a walkie talkie and the ultimate puppet master.

Pull the string! Billy! A mistake is made. A story must be told. Pull the string!

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Oct 04 2010
13 Comments
general balls

Bowden’s late no ball call in pictures

“Very interesting call that one.  The thing is we’re not out there, it’s a very quick motion of that front leg going through”.

Some aussie commentator on Nimbus.

While the foot going through the crease was quick, Billy’s decision was not.

Let’s look at what we know.

Sharma hit Kaitch what looked like inline with the stumps.

Billy seemed to be contemplating the decision or giving no decision or call whatsoever.

Then Billy signalled the no ball.

The no ball call was shown to be incorrect.

The LBW was not out according to hawkeye.

This is the ball hitting the pad at 3:04.

At 3:06 Billy still doesn’t have his arm out and Sharma is looking straight at him still appealing.

At 3:07 Ishant gets a close up.

In the last frames of 3:07 Nimbus show us Billy’s arm.

This is far from conclusive evidence.

And it also may not prove anything other than a no ball was called incorrectly very late.

But, it should be looked into.  Isn’t that what Chris Broad is paid to do.

If you watch the full video there is no audible no ball call that I can hear. Although I am almost deaf from turning this up as loud as I could and watching it a bunch of times.

In fact, when watching the video, it looks like he says either no ball or not out as the shot of his arm is showing, which is 3 to 4 seconds after the ball hits Katich.

Nimbus cutting to Sharma robs us of the exact time Billy’s arm went out, but it seems weird that you would wait at least the 2 seconds before calling a no ball.

Add to that the fact that Shamra’s foot landed comfortably behind the line and you have to wonder…

Was this a late call because Billy got caught up in the game.

Or…

Did he panic and call a no ball because he didn’t want to give a decision.

Or…

Billy just randomly makes gestures hoping people laugh.

Ms Dhoni didn’t seem to be laughing when chatting to Billy at the end of the over.

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Oct 04 2010
3 Comments
aussies, indians, umpires

Billy Bowden and KRUD

Billy Bowden is perhaps the most amazing umpire in cricket history.  With little umpiring skill at all he has managed to make it to the pinnacle of cricket with stupid gestures and nerd chic.

If umpires were under the same scrutiny from selectors as cricketers are, he probably would find himself umpiring cricket games in Queenstown during the winter.

Instead he is propelled into the test arena to ensure that we all have someone to laugh at.  Like, Pauley Shore.  The problem is, the laughs stopped about 10 tests in, and now what you have is cricket’s own bio-dome being replayed endlessly.

Even when Billy is in form, he never looks that confident. Today was not a day of form.

On a day when India and Australia put on a gourmet day of cricket, Billy took a shit on the buffet.

First was the Michael Clarke dismissal, or not.  A simple caught at midwicket turned into a soap opera as Billy couldn’t decide if it was a no ball or not.

Then one of two scenarios played out:

Enter the KRUD (Katich Review of Umpiring Decisions).  The newest innovation by the ICC to steam line the UDRS system.  With Katich in place, no umpire ever needs to feel uncertain again as Katich can tell them what they need to know.  Even if – upon watching the replay many times – it appears that he is not watching the crease.  When signalling a KRUD you should choke yourself in the direction of the 3rd umpire.

Billy saw what he thought was a no ball, but then got caught up in the game and suddenly realised he hadn’t called it.

Neither scenario shows him in good light.

Later on Billy decided to intervene again when Ishant Sharma appealed for a leg before and Billy seemed to be deciding if it was out or not, but then called it a no ball several long seconds later.  When the ball was bowled, there is no audible call.

Now, this seems simple enough, it is either a no ball, and therefore needs no deciding, or it is not a no ball, and you can give your decision.

As it turned out the ball pitched a fraction outside leg stump, not that Billy ever made a decision about that.

That one got worse when Billy’s no ball decision was just wrong.  Late, wrong and nervy, just what we want from an umpire.

Somewhere in there he made an excellent decision for a caught behind, but people knew he was just building the drama for later on.  No one took it serious.  “Oh, that Billy, what a jokester”.

The final act was just for Indian fans, a personal message of gratitude.  It was a tough one, and against the flow of no balls, a surprise ending, but giving Gotham City Gambhir out for dragging a ball from well wide of off stump back onto his pads was just about perfect.

It was the perfect end to his day.

And, hopefully his career.

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Dec 18 2009
aussies, ICC, windies

FREE SULIEMAN BENN

This is the text I have used on the FREE SULIEMAN BENN petition.

Dear ICC,

Your decision to incarcerate Sulieman Benn is rubbish.

Rubbish.

Cricket is a game with passion; yesterday was a perfect example of it.  Had Benn thrown the ball at Haddin’s face and started smacking Johnson around the head, bans would have been justified, but what was he actually banned for.

An ugly accidental incident?

Benn bumped into Johnson by accident, Johnson pushed at Benn because someone had bumped into him, and Benn pushed back because someone was pushing him.

Was it heated, yes.

Was it unnecessary, perhaps.

Was it badly officiated, absolutely.

Was it a confrontation between passionate test cricketers who were in the heat of battle trying to win a game for the country, oh yes.

So why penalize anyone?

No one got hurt, no one instigated contact, no one ruined cricket’s precious little image.

If anything, incidents like this prove that professional cricketers are not robots, that winning matters to them. They aren’t just billboards waiting for a beer company to put another stamp on.

Benn is a fiery guy, which is why I like him, and in the future he will get suspended again for doing something wrong, but this is not the time.

This is a miscarriage of justice, and Benn must be freed.

If the ICC believes that someone must be banned for all this “ugliness”, they can ban Chris “spirit of cricket” Broad or Billy “lover, not a fighter” Bowden, I doubt there will be many tears for them.

FREE SULIEMAN BENN

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Dec 17 2009
aussies, ICC, windies

A forensic examination of a shove and a vow

When I read about Sulieman Benn, Brad Haddin and Mitchell Johnson getting into a shoving match I wet myself in at least two different ways.

Then I saw it.

The play by play.

Haddin hits a ball into the ball short on the leg side; Benn and Johnson get in a tangle. Not that it is hard to get tangled with Benn. They collided fairly naturally; Johnson tried to push him away, Benn seemed to grab him and tried to get his leg in his way, and eventually they unentwined and the run was completed.

Haddin got pissed that Benn was grabbing at Johnson; I doubt he would have seen Johnson’s push from his position. He then had a go at Benn, with a bit of bat waving nonsense thrown in.

Then Benn got angry, mostly about the bat waving, as Haddin and Gayle had a fairly unaggressive chat. Benn then kept abusing Haddin (who seemed bored of it and walked away) about the bat waving and kept calling him big man. From what I could hear I believe he said, “Watch yourself, big man, don’t fucken point your bat at me, man.” Gayle didn’t try to do much so Billy came over, eventually.

Then later when Benn was bowling to Haddin he hit one straight back to Benn who feigned that he was going to throw the ball at Haddin/thestumps, probably the equivalent of the bat waving. It was a terrible feign, and obvious he was not going to throw, so much so that you couldn’t even say he was going to throw it at Haddin, as he never really cocked his arm correctly. It was more a wild swing of the arms from a 2 year old.

That was the end of the over and Haddin walked down mouthing off to Benn (Benn could have been mouthing back but that angle wasn’t shown). Benn did a big like point at Haddin, but Johnson got in the way, and Benn’s arm struck Johnson ever so lightly, and Johnson tried to swat it away like someone had poured ice down his top and Benn slapped his arm away.

Then Billy finally got sort of involved and Benn left.

The history.

Haddin and Benn have history, last tour they kept chirping at each other, and at one stage Benn thrust out his leg to try and trip Haddin. Not sure if that had anything to do wit this, but they clearly don’t like each other.

Perhaps Neil Broom and Benn are friends?

In this tour Benn has been yapping non stop to the aussies, and the funniest moment had to be when Watson was marking his guard to start the last innings at Adelaide and Benn was craned over him talking and talking.

Haddin has also been chirping a lot when Benn has been into bat.

The verdict.

What a load of shit. It wasn’t a shoving match; it was an accidental tap and some heated words. Haddin probably rented a high horse he has no moral reason to get on, and Benn overreacted and then dragged it out until it was almost painful to watch.

Perhaps if the ICC want to clean cricket of any sort of human emotion Haddin and Benn should be given a level one fine for the bat waving, feigned throw and swearing, but it still seems pretty piss poor to me. I can’t see how Johnson can even be charged.

But what about Billy, he could have stopped this at any time. What the hell was he doing? First he stood behind the stumps as Benn got angrier and angrier, then he took way too long to get down to where Benn and Haddin were clearly going to meet. Will he get fined for failing to act, will he get warned that he needs to get involved in these things and try and diffuse them. This isn’t the first time I’ve seen Billy stand around and so nothing while teams are getting heated.

My vow.

If any player gets suspended, and from the original charges it seems only Benn can, I will start a petition to get him freed.

Cricket is a passionate game, people get fired up. Things are said, glares are exchanged, bats are waived, and fingers are pointed. That is all good. Passion is why we love this game.

We want to see players who are out there to win, not collect endorsements. Benn is a fiery bugger, and I love that about him. If the ICC wants to take people like him out of the game then they have to get by this site first.

There are no fingers pointed or bats waived in my Ashes book, but there should be.

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