Contrary to popular belief Glenn McGrath first got the nickname ‘the metronome’ in the shower.
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Tagged with ashes facts …
ashes fact 12
Andrew Bichel was a poor 12th man.
He couldn’t cut oranges correctly, his pouring of drinks was below par, and he would go around sniffing other players boxes while the boys were out on the field.
The reason he was 12th man was because he was thought of as Australia’s lucky charm.
Instead of the Australian team going through all their normal superstitions, Bichel would do that for them.
At various times he didn’t shave or wash, refrained from masturbation during matches, had to hop on one leg for the entirity of a Steve Waugh innings, and had to dress up as player’s wives and perform their womanly duties so the players felt at home.
This, and this alone, was the reason he was 12th man so much.
ashes fact 13
Keith Miller was the original inspiration for batman.
Eventually it was decided that making a comic about an Australian cricketer wouldn’t translate well in America.
The Bruce Wayne part of the character was changed, but out of respect for the great man the batman part of the character was kept in keeping with Keith Miller’s general level of cool.
ashes facts 14
When it was obvious England were going to need a miracle to win the Ashes again, The Queen, David Icke, and Right Said Fred got together and planned to win the Ashes with a secret weapon.
They spent three weeks in Mali, and eventually they came up with a plan.
Send Nicole Charles to Australia, and try and confuse the natives.
It was a sound plan, but they were foiled but one small detail.
No one really watches Neighbours in Australia.
ashes fact 15
In the early 90s there was talk that the Ashes should be known as ‘Richie Benaud’s Ashes’.
The thinking was that they needed an edge, and at the time John Carpenter was still king.
The idea had merit, Richie was an icon in both countries, and it would give the series a personal touch it had lacked.
After careful consideration the idea was canned because he lived in France.
ashes fact 16
People have claimed that the Ashes were invented in many places.
But the location does not matter.
They way the bails were burnt does matter.
The bails were actually turned to ash during a Alban Heruin ceremony performed buy a group of Pagans who had gone to their local park to perform their ritual.
So without the Pagans, the Ashes might be called the Australia Vs England Test series, or something really boring.
God bless those pagans.
ashes fact 17
Few people have ever really gotten cricket.
They play it, watch it, and talk about it, but the essence of cricket still elusive to them.
The essence of cricket is in Graham Gooch’s back lift.
Think about it.
ashes fact 18
The Ashes were always important, but before Brendan Julian played in them they just didn’t have the X factor.
Brendan brings something extra to the game of cricket, he is like James Bond with a bat, Justim timberlake with a ball, and Bobcat Goldthwait with a microphone.
Had he not played in cricket, and especially in the Ashes, you and I would have been the losers, but even more so the children.
Imagine if your child had to watch the Ashes series without Brendan Julian’s magic touch making that little much better.
He is the Jesus of the Ashes, and don’t you dare forget it, you fucken heathen.
ashes fact 20
In the history of Ashes Hunks, no one player has turned on more ladies and gay men than Ray Bright.
The raw sexual magnetism of his left arm orthodox bowling drove them crazy.
He often had trouble just walking down the street with all the people flinging themsleves at him.
