I have spent many hours looking at Anil, and I still can’t understand how he gets wickets.
I bowled a lot of straight leg spinners, most of them got slogged over mid wicket, some to square leg.
Not once did a coach say to me, hey sh1t ©unt, you bowl alright, but you’re spinning the ball a bit much, hold back and bowl some straight ones.
I don’t understand David Lynch films either, everyone is weird, the music is odd, the plot makes no sense, but at the end of the film I like what I’ve seen.
Same as Kumble.
Of all the great modern spinners he is the one you’d back yourself to get through an over of. You probably wouldn’t, but compared to Warne or Murali, you wouldn’t be completely embarrassed either.
You would miss the straight one though.
Some people don’t consider him a spinner, but some people don’t consider George Dubya a pimple on the ass of soceity.
Were it not for his constant wipes at that sweaty forehead, you would wonder if he were truly a human.
I mean what sort of a spinner bowls that many balls on a good length, with grace, patience and no spin.
Steve Waugh always says you wouldn’t lose sleep the night before facing Kumble.
This is probably true, but the night after facing him many a batsman has looked at the ceiling of a Delhi hotel thinking, “how the fu©k did I miss another straight one”.
He is not so much a bowler, but an artist who uses minimalism to deceive you.
Like Samuel Beckett he strips away the reality of spinners needing to turn the ball a mile. He brings bowling back to the very base level of the human condition.
Kumble turns batting into an introspection of life itself. The batsman has many questions to face during his spell.
Do I go forward, do I go back, is it turning, is it going straight, should I attack, should I defend, when is the right time, is he a leggie, is he an inswinger, can I pick his wrong un, is my pen1s really satisfying my partner?
A normal bowler tries to beat the batsmen, Kumble makes you define the very idiom of bastmanship.
Then he bowls the straight one.
Trust me, it is very hard to bat whilst thinking about idioms, especially when Kumble is probing at you with minimalism.
Off the field he handles himself with a confident quiet calmness, part James Bond, part Riche Benaud, but Indian.
He is smooth, classy, clever, respected and dignified at all times.
Then he bowls the straight one.
Don’t try and understand the straight one, just accept it for what is is, another wicket to the great man.