Filed under victorian bushrangers …

Oct 21 2009
champion's league, victorian bushrangers

Nathan Hauritz’s Revenge

It had to come eventually.

For  so long I have poured all kinds of shit on this little club offie.

He still survived.

He even took test wickets.

He cemented his place in the One Day side.

He even didn’t always look like a nervous wreck one six away from suicide.

Now his hate for me has made me so strong that he has taken down the one team i truly love, VIctoria.

That lickle fucker.

Two wickets in one over, and Victoria were dead.

He even took the piss by then bowling his second over for 12.

Nice touch.

I could see him on the bench mouthing “fuck you jrod” as Warner and Hughes smacked the Vics everywhere.

When he bowled Quiney with the arm ball you could his middle finger staring back at me on the screen, he knew i was watching, and he was making a statement.

Well played, Nathan.

You have won this time, but let’s see who gets the last laugh.

I just didn’t think the Victorian team would help Nathan get back at me.

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Oct 11 2009
ashes, victorian bushrangers

Jon Holland; the lusty woman’s Nathan Hauritz

I’m excited.

This has been a big weekend for Victorians.

Dirty Dirk took 4 for today and helped an IPL side actually win a game.

Victoria beat Delhi up in their first champion’s league match.

And Australia picked another Victorian for a tour.

It might have been some useless one-day series that no one will really care about, but I don’t care, another Victorian has been noticed.

A spinny Victorian, sure he bowls that poncey left arm spin crap, but he can bowl.

It is too early to tell if he is the real deal or not, he hasn’t played in more than 10 games in any format for Victoria yet.

But in Victoria’s one game he showed something. This was his first game in front of an international audience only hours after he was announced as an Australian squad member. He had every reason to fail.

Instead he bowled quite well against Dilshan and Kartik; two guys that should and could have smashed him everywhere.

Before yesterday he was probably going to India as a work experience cricketer, but he could now find himself slipped in to the side on the tracks that spin. Thanks to Lalit he is getting some great practice.

He is going to go the distance in this tournament eventually; he isn’t the Umar Gul of spin or anything.

Victoria rate him highly, and in only a short time he seems to have replaced Bryce McGain as the main 2020 spin option for them.

But what I liked best was how relaxed he looked. It took Nathan Hauritz 5 years at the top level to look as relaxed as Holland did the first time in front of a live studio audience.

All in all he raises my pulse more after watching him only three times than Hauritz has in his whole career, although they have one thing in common, neither has taken a 5 wicket haul in first class cricket.

I like him, it is still early days, but he was one of the two spinners I mentioned in my Australian spinners and zombies post along with Steven Smith, who has also bowled well in the league.

Australian spin may not be dead.

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Aug 31 2009
IPL, victorian bushrangers

Delhi’s Dirk Nannes

It has been a few days since I heard about Dirk’s decision to choose Delhi over Victoria.

And it still hurts.

I understand why he did it, I also know it was not a decision that was easy for him and that it wasn’t a decision one that he made lightly.

But it still hurts.

Cricketers are sort of like non-cricketers; some times they do things for their families.

Dirk is in his 30s, has only just made the big time, has not been groomed from his teens by the Vics, and is not your typical cricketer.

That is why I like him.

But that is also why he might not decide to play for Victoria like some automatically would.

Victoria is the team who gave him a chance, but he was running in and bowling fast well before they sorted out what he was doing.

He was picked to win them games; they didn’t groom him since he was a teen to make it to the top level.

He isn’t less of a Victorian cricketer than Brad Hodge or Cameron White, but he doesn’t have the child/father bond with them the way these boys do.

This all means I understand why he did what he did.

It doesn’t mean I like it.

I fucken hate it.

Victoria still has a top class bowling attack without him, but he is the nipple.

I wrote once that I thought that Dirk would pick Delhi over Victoria, but when it finally happened it still hurts.

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Jan 24 2009
victorian bushrangers

the horror the horror

Fuck me.

So close, and yet fuck me.

I started off with the live score, then i tried to find it on the radio, nothing.

Ball by ball is as good as i can get.

Following a game of cricket on the net that means this much to you is like letting a doctor operate on your cock while you are fully conscious, as he is updating his status on twitter.

It took me 5 minutes to find out about Bryce’s double wicket over.

What kind of world is this?

Cric info stalled.

Cricket.com.au died.

At one stage i had no scores coming through at all.

I was screaming at the computer, i was howling at the moon, and had started planning jihads, but the fucker comes back on.

And what do i see, 2 sixes off Bryce, one fumbled over the line.

Fucken kill me.

Now i don’t know if i want the scores.

I pace, curse and refresh, for the last 4 overs.

Not wanting to know the score, but fucken screaming if i don’t hear it.

I can actually feel my heart giving way, and i’ve need to take a dump for 45 minutes.

Half way around the world i may be, but i feel as if i am there, albeit with a blind fold on.

And then the game, up down, up down, and Quiney bowls the last over and i am distraught.

Where is Harwood, how could McDonald not bowl Harwood in the last over, what the fuck is going on.

And then HARWOOD fields the last ball, what the fuck is going on.

Vics lose, and i am crestfallen and confused.

I throw my hat to the ground, i pace faster, i call NSWales mother fucking cunts, i ask how fucken tinny assed one state can be.

I get the text from big daddy, “fuuuuuuuuuck”.

And i feel numb.

www.cricketwithballs.com… We are that type of boot
Nov 10 2008
victorian bushrangers

Bushrangers name squad for Modi league

Victoria has put 15 names down for the Champions League thingy.

It’s a pretty good squad.

Aaron Finch is in it, having only played one state game before.

Damien Wright couldn’t get into a squad with 5 fast bowlers in it.

And Chris Rogers was not named.

Because of the controversial one ranga rule the BCCi cooked up.

Strangely they thought they needed two keepers, and didn’t go for for young spinner Jon Holland.

Jon Holland not playing makes little sense, as last years campaign was very dependent on Bryce McGain’s role of slowing down the opposition in the middle overs.

And being that this is in India, and they are only taking the part timers of White, Hussey and Hodge, it makes little sense.

But John Hastings, he of Hong Kong Sixes fame, made the squad, so I am happy with that.

Squad Rob Quiney, Aiden Blizzard, Brad Hodge, David Hussey, Cameron White (capt), Aaron Finch, Andrew McDonald, Adam Crosthwaite (wk), Matthew Wade (wk), John Hastings, Clint McKay, Shane Harwood, Peter Siddle, Darren Pattinson, Dirk Nannes.

www.cricketwithballs.com… We constantly get sodomized down the legside
Oct 24 2008
victorian bushrangers

Bushrangers take on pink men

The Champions league thingy is just around the corner.

Near the tube I guess.

And I was feeling a little under whelmed about it.

But now I am fully whelmed.

Victoria has drawn Middlesex in the opening rounds.

The Champions league thingy is just around the corner.

Near the tube I guess.

And I was feeling a little under whelmed about it.

But now I am fully whelmed.

Victoria has drawn Middlesex in the opening rounds.

That’s right kiddies, Dirty Dirk up against the men in pink.

Ben Scott facing the thunderbolts.

Tim Murtagh dodging the verbal bullets.

And Shaun Udal looking old.

This should be great.

Dirty Dirk must be dribbling blood in anticipation.

Victoria also play Pretoria, and Chennai.

But Dirty Dirk never played for them.

This is like the Stanford series, except with players and teams that people really like.

I am not sure if Victoria or Victoria A (Rajasthan) is ranked best domestic 2020 side in the world, but i think they are one, two.

Middlesex is way below that, and wouldn’t have won the 2020 championship if not fir Dirty Dirk.

And everyone knows this.

I heard a whisper one that Dirk wheres around a t shirt that says “I saved the pink me”.

But i have never seen any evidence of this.

Return to frontpage

www.cricketwithballs.com… We constantly get sodomized down the legside
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Oct 03 2008
victorian bushrangers

the Sheffield Shield, brought to you by a soggy breakfast: VIC

Victoria, the home of the brave

Players that wont be available due to committments in a lesser team

McGain, Hussey and White.

McGain won’t play one dayers, and other 2 won’t play tests, so they should have the majority of their team the majority of the time.

Along with Tasmania, has the best balanced lists, and made the finals of all three trophies last year for one Victory, would want to take one of the more important sides this year.

Leadership

This is the big test, this is the big bears team, and when the one dayers come around and he is busy, they will be looking forsome else to take over.

Brad Hodge will probably get the job, dammit, but I think Nick Jewell could be the man.

Bowling

Dirty Dirk Nannes, Eyelids Pattinson, Peter Siddle (Sizzle), Wright and probably Clint McKay are the quicks, and all genuine wicket takers.

Eyelids has come back to Australia as a legit first class bowler, and this is a pretty handy bunch of 5 bowlers.

Spin bowling is interesting, with McGain out, White is the only spinner I know of close to first class level, but young Kumar Sarna may get a go.

If White has to take the job as number one spinner, it may do him good to get th extra overs, but Victoria will miss Bryce.

Batting

The Middle order is still sexy, Hodge, Hussey and White, but they won’t have that for 6 weeks.

Chris Rogers has been brought in, as Victoria struggle to ever have two good openers at one time.

Last year it looked like Jewell had come of age, so if he and Rogers can provide solid starts, other states may be in all sorts of trouble.

Victoria do need to pick a keeper this year, either young Wade gets a go, or the X man continues.

Long in the tooth

There is no obvious players on the way out, Hodge and McGain being the oldest, but they are probably around for fair while yet. Damien Wright may not finish the season however.

Ready to shed the nappies

James Pattinson, brother of Eyelids, is supposedly a freak of nature, and I say get him in there at 7 before Notts try and claim him.

Nostradamus

Shield

1st or 2nd.

One day

2nd or 3rd.

2020

1st or 2nd.

The rub

If they can overcome the loss of Bryce they could win it all.

The Christian Bale sqaud

www.cricketwithballs.com… We constantly get sodomized down the legside
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Aug 13 2008
victorian bushrangers

Fan up for the Bushrangers

Readers of this blog might have noticed a slight bias towards the state of Victoria.

It’s subtle, but you can sniff it.

So in keeping with that theme I have done a deal with the devil and given the Victorian Bushrangers a fan page on facebook.

If you are a Victorian fan, or a fan of twenty20 (Victorian being the number one ranked domestic twenty20 side in the world) you should fan up.

Or if you just like big sixes.

Watch for the 3rd six, its a pickle.

www.cricketwithballs.com… We constantly get sodomized down the legside
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Jul 15 2008
victorian bushrangers

Earl gets back on horse

After ten years, Australia’s first class competition is no longer named after milk (good milk, but milk none the less), it will revert to its original name.

Sheffield Shield.

Which is a relief, because I was sick and tired of kiddies looking at me funny when I talked about shield games.

The trophy was named after the Earl of Sheffield, some wanky royal type, who was a conservative politician whom no one would have ever heard of if not for this donation.

The man died at 77 unmarried, and I’m not saying he is gay, but I’m not, not saying it.

Victoria won the first ever Sheffield Shield.

Matthew Elliot is the only player to have ever won 3 player of the year awards.

The most dismissals by a wicket keeper, Chuck Berry.

The highest score by a state 1107, Victoria.

There are all sorts of great stats there.

In the last 12 seasons every team has won, even the rubbish ones, I’m talking to you South Australia.

I’m very excited by the restoration on the name Sheffield Shield, incase you didn’t pick it.

www.cricketwithballs.com… We constantly get sodomized down the legside
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Jun 10 2008
victorian bushrangers

Modi, puts his foot down

Would have been interesting had Bangalore or the Knightriders made the superleague 2020 dlf champions maximum citi moment of 2020 cup.

As Cameron White, David Hussey and Brad Hodge had already vowed to each other that no matter what happened, Victorian came first.

Lalit Modi has said unequivocally that the IPL comes first, second and third in this league.

But he, or someone in the IPL, fucked up, they have no contracts that say their international players must play for them in such a super champion league thingy.

Modi can stomp his foot, get caught smoking, abduct someone, or pay Terry Jenner to commit fraud, but some players are loyal.

Cameron White would have been an interesting test case, the boy bleeds navy blue.

Now Mike Hussey and Baby face Morkel will be the test cases.

Don’t know much about Albie, so I can’t comment on what he will do.

But Michael Hussey is a people pleaser, so he will be torn.

Best case for him is if the Superkings want him, which you would think they will, they give the Warriors a high end 6 figure sum.

Then the King Probot would be able to play for the team with all the 0’s on the end, and still look after his home state.

Unlike Victoria, the Warriors can cover the loss of Hussey.

Marsh and Pomersbach proved themselves in India.

Ronchi never quite did, but trust me, when the boy is on song, you’ll be singing with him.

Adam Voges and Theo Paul Doropoulos are more than handy down the list.

But if for the first time ever, your state team, the one that groomed you, were to play on an International stage, wouldn’t you want to be with them?

Not watching Dhoni in front of the mirror.

www.cricketwithballs.com… We constantly get sodomized down the legside
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