For Q the winner of the first CWBCL fantasy league.
Being that I have now admitted to watching the ICL, I can now tell you something wonderful that isn’t just about chubby journeymen dominating Indian fringe players.
Lahore.
They are the Pakistani side in the competition.
Watching them is like the first time you see a celebrity sex tape.
They make other 2020 teams look like Novocaine addicts.
They open up with a couple of Imran’s, Farhat & Nazir.
Nazir is one of those batsman that hits the ball so sweetly without any thoughts going through his head, he is a free spirit who deals in sixes.
Farhat is the more sensible one, but that’s ok, cause in at 3 is Naved-ul-Hasan, or as I like to call him the double hyphen.
He is sent in as a pinch hitter. There is nothing like a Pakistani pinch hitter, remember when Imran Khan used to come in and pinch hit, and occasionally come in and pinch block.
Double Hyphen just hits, and boy does he hit, you have to wonder why Pakistan never used his batting more often.
So once the dashers and sloggers are out the way, the class comes in, starting with Mohammad Yousuf, not long ago one of the best 3 batsmen on the planet, and is still close to it.
Straight after that is the man himself, Inzy, who smashed the ball around in the semi final like he would have in his prime. He runs the show, with Moin Khan, and he is just as cool as they have always been.
Then to round out the top order is Azhar Mahmood, still one of the better slogging all rounders in the word, even if he has been in a good paddock or two.
The bowlers aren’t shabby either.
Mohammad Sami takes the new ball, and is still quick and silky smooth.
Double Hyphen and Azhar obviously get a bowl and then the ball is thrown to the greatest English Pakistani off spinner of all time, Saqlain Mushtaq.
Fresh from being bored to death at Surrey, Saqi looks fresh and vibrant, and what’s that Saqi, you have another ball to go with your teesra and your doosra, that you invented and Tony Greig claims he named.
I don’t know what it is called, but it is like a leg cutter that slides on but looks like an offspinner. Genius.
And in the sheds, with a dodgy knee is the one and only Mushie.
That is a cool as fuck line up.
They stick out like dogs balls on a mouse in this league, they have more class, more excitement and are more watchable than any other team.
But what about the real Pakistan?
Lead by the work experience kid Shoaib Malik.
They do have exciting players, Misbah Ul Haq, also known as Misbah cricket, Shahid Afridi is still there, Shoaib Ahktar is back, and Younis Elvis Khan.
Salman Butt has a great name.
Sohail Tanvir is the 2nd best 2020 bowler in the world and the best bowler off the wrong foot.
But I can’t remember the last time I was excited to see Pakistan play.
They don’t even have a spinner who invents new deliveries.
Right now Lahore are everything Pakistan used to be.
Wildly unpredictable, compulsive viewing, dynamic, sexy, Inzy and better than a Kate Winslet & Natalie Portman session.
It’s a shame we can’t have it in the main team.
But at least we have something.
Visit wellpitched, the only Pakistani outside the ICL in great form.
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