How Pakistan can win the world cup: Ride the Afridi love wand

How Pakistan will win

There is no doubt that Pakistan has holes in their line up, and that at any stage the whole team could self combust into flames, even if Ross Taylor isn’t involved.

Looking at Pakistan in any sort of structured way is like trying to prove ghosts exist by looking at three episodes of most haunted.

Pakistan can win because Shahid Afridi is currently walking around oozing cocaine and champagne out of every orifice when he bowls.

Sometimes all you need is a leader who is so cock sure of himself that everyone else just assumes he can walk on water.

While Ian Chappell might not see the beauty of Afridi, the Pakistan players seem to.

Chappell likes things regimented and tough, he would have excelled in World War 2, but Afridi is guerilla warfare and Chappell’s segmented brain can’t process the many levels of awesomeness that are attacking him when Afridi is on fire.

Shahid Afridi can win this tournament, he might need some help, but in his mind he probably has 11 personalities that he can bring together to win the world cup on his own.

It’s even possible that in his head he’s already won this tournament and we just don’t know it.

Afridi does exist on many planes at once, even when he doesn’t make any runs.

What Pakistan must do

Ride the Afridi love wand.

How Pakistan can lose

Perhaps Afridi has used all his mojo. It’s possible, even though his mojo seems bottomless. His mojo can also be spent on other things at time leaving his cricket limp and lifeless.

The rest of team is not horrible, it’s just that the rest of the team seems to be made of tissue paper not human flesh.

If Afridi does run out of magic bowling beans it’s hard to see how Pakistan can win the last two games.

They have other players, their middle order was both born in the age of enlightenment, and Umar Gul is a far better bowler than his sideburns show, I just don’t see how they win if Afridi isn’t taking wickets, raising his arms in the air and moving his head from side to side like the world’s most eager puppy waiting for a treat.

But they’re Pakistan, so speculation about what will and won’t happen is like making sense of Afridi’s batting.

What not to do against Pakistan

Hit the ball in the air to anyone who isn’t Kamran Akmal.

Now, the two chucks.

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13 thoughts on “How Pakistan can win the world cup: Ride the Afridi love wand

  1. Rusty says:

    Ha – Chapelli would have been at home in WWI – otherwise, as usual – top not Jrod …

    Great win today, and hopefully a good match to follow tomorrow …

  2. sana says:

    i think ian chappell is a closet afridi fanboy.

    (how else can you explain his scrutiny of afridi’s wicket celebration?)

  3. chapbaps says:

    Chappell often wears a mini-collar priesty type shirt that makes him appear like Robert Mitchum in Night of the Hunter. This sometimes can distract from his anecdotes about Jeff Thomson hitting batsmen, which in turn may mean his value as a morale booster in wartime is diminished.

  4. Wes ~PFCNFS~ says:

    Afridi will not run out of magic bowling beans. He bowls for “The Pose”. He even gave up the batting for his bowling. Although we did not get to see if he *really* promoted Razzaq up the order, thanks to the incapable Windies. Perhaps after the semis we will know more.

    “It’s even possible that in his head he’s already won this tournament and we just don’t know it.”

    This. And not only he, but entire Pakistan as well ^^

  5. wolf says:

    Anyone else notice that Misbah seemed to have been assigned to hug duty last night?

    At every wicket and the end of every spell he was there giving out hugs to the bowler. Wierd but somehow effective.

  6. knowledge_eater says:

    ohh yes, let’s revisit the video of excitement

  7. Masuud says:

    Afridi’s mother once told him he could be the best mothafuckeing leggie after that Victorian, he never took her word. Until 2009 struck. That T20 WC refurbished his orifice and parts. And since then, he’s been what he is now. Unless he’s taken on by someone who’s having a special day, don’t see Lord Shahid being held back.

    The wood has still got to do the talking. Either its in the semi or the big one, don’t count that out. Just don’t for Fakmal’s sake.

  8. J says:

    ROFL!!Gud one awesome!!

  9. Whatever happens, looks like we’ll never see Akhtar again…

  10. Well, Afridi has demonstrated well in describing himself a good captain. At-least every member of the team is backing him up during the mega event. The top thinking that Afridi brings in was to open-up the spin bowling, the idea then followed by Dhoni in their quarter final against Australia. Afridi should go with 3 spinners in the Semi Final.

  11. Pratik says:

    Afridi’s been a total disaster with the bat. And while he has taken a lot of wickets, they haven’t come against strong opposition. I am certain he won’t fare as well against the mighty Indian batting line-up, and India is the favorite to make it to the finals.

  12. Jrod , heres the real reason behind pakistan’s super show at the world cup….

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