things happened in cricket today

This is a random collection of bourbon inspired sour mash thoughts.

Greg Chappell said this:

‘We didn’t plan for Mitch to struggle in Brisbane, but certainly we had made plans beforehand to leave him out of the second Test because we felt the conditions would have suited Peter Siddle, Ryan Harris and Doug Bollinger,”

That’s fine, but why make those plans so private that if he had a poor game he’d look he’d been dropped?

”Mitch was certainly out of sorts. It was always dependent of form, if he had brained them in Brisbane we would have given him consideration for Adelaide,”

If you weren’t out of form, and you took actual cricket wickets and made actual cricket runs we’d have picked you in Adelaide, but being that you did neither, we rested you.

“with five Tests in seven weeks we felt we needed to mix and match the attack to suit the conditions. It is a marathon.”

It’s such a marathon, that we decided to let you run a mini-marathon in Melbourne just days out from the test, because we’re crazy.

Oh, Greg, no wonder you’re every character from the Wizard of Oz.

James Sutherland obviously felt like he needed to step up as well.

When talking to SEN he said that Australia named their squad before the first test in 06/07 just as early as they did this time.

Oh, how nice, did you pick 17 players for that series as well, because you forgot to say that on SEN, and some ex footballer from the northern suburbs never asked you.

Sri Lanka has named a squad of 30 for the world cup.

Included are Arthur C Clarke, Roy Dias, Michael Ondaatje, S.W.R.D. Bandaranaike, Chaminda Vaas and some politician.

The president, who still looks way too much like Saddam Hussein said, “It doesn’t matter who is in the squad, I’ll pick 15 random cabinet ministers to play, and they’ll do the job I require.  We might win with a full strength team, but that won’t get me re-elected. Fuck Roy Dias.”

In other news, Johan Botha was physically abused in a bad way, so bad that the police said to Johan, show me on the doll where the bad spinner touched you.

Buy the cricket sadist quarterly so the editor can buy better booze.

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10 thoughts on “things happened in cricket today

  1. Deep Cower says:

    Right there. He touched me right there. It was horrible. And at the same time pleasant.

  2. golandaaz says:

    i had asked this before….will try again. Why does the CSQ cover look like Tintin? Is it intentional or am I seeing things?

  3. Wes ~PFCNFS~ says:

    The omission of Botha makes me grumpy, very grumpy. Thinking of not watching this series, even if it is the only cricket taking place during daytime.

  4. Pete says:

    marathon, give us an effing break

  5. Govind Raj says:

    Buy the cricket sadist quarterly so the editor can buy better booze.

    I love this line !

    Brutally Honest :-)

  6. Sunny says:

    @govind raj – after a couple who can tell the difference?! ;)

  7. Ganesh says:

    //some politician//
    Jayasuriya?Ha ha!

  8. i love it how hilditch and greg chappell come up with creative statements, which says everything except how badly they have messed up any chances of winning the ashes….

  9. Lolly says:

    Ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba,ba,ba I wanna be sedated.

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