It was always bound to come to this, me taking on the Lord’s taverners in a contest to the death.
On the 18th of September at something called the Sunbury Cricket Club I shall do everything within my cricketing powers to send Lord’s back to the stoneage, where they belong.
I am playing on the side of test match sofa, but also on the side of good.
The players that the Lord’s Taverners will be sending out against me are:
“Lawrence Prittipaul (Cricketer Ex-Hampshire), Tom Wisdom (Actor), Colin Salmon (Actor), Toby Rowland-Jones (Cricketer—Middlesex), Adam London (Cricketer-Middlesex), Aaatif Nawaz (Actor/Comedian), Llloyd Scott (Fundraiser Extraordinaire), Mike Wederburn (Sky Sports Presenter), Ryan Philpott (Actor), Shaun Udal (Cricketer-Middlesex), Jeremy Coney (Cricketer-Ex-New Zealand)”
If you want to see me sledge Jeremey Coney, and frankly, who doesn’t, you should make your way to this ground. In fact, I’ll be coming up with sledges for each player based on their wikipedia profiles or cricinfo profiles.
Test match sofa have all the info.
Angus Fraser will be the host of the grudge match, I will not be watching him piss.
If you’re in London come down and watch me give Shaun Udal a lesson in spin bowling.
Tom Wisdom was in 300. At an inopportune moment roar, “THIS…IS…SOFA!”
Ben, You are my new favourite commenter.
Is there anyway you could engineer Mike Wederburn to meet with an accident? I loath the man.
While you are giving spin lessons to Shaun Udal, remind him how much he looks like Phil Collins. You could start singing, “I can feel it coming in the air tonight…… Hold on… taduntaduntaduntadun… ” when he comes out to bat.. The possibilities are endless, really!
*Is touched…in an unmoved, cynical, internet-commenterish way.*
after some more googling, it turns that tom wisdom was the commander’s son who was decapitated in slow motion.
Jeremy Coney you say. You could just ask, “What did IPL give you to make you dance with a cheergirl?
DM, I was thinking of asking him for acting tips, but that could work too.
Rohan, top google work there. I shall bowl him in slow motion.
Hoping for some footage, good luck!