10. Tony Grieg arrives at your door step.
“No need to grovel, I’ll happily come in and spend all night chatting to you and your Asian bride”.
9. You could be giving birth to a child and ask for a an epidural and have Allan Border come in.
“If you can’t hack it, let’s get a tough Queenslander out here - get me Greg Ritchie”.
8. You could find yourself in a 7 hour press conference of a former great international as he battles rumours that he is gay.
“I’m not gay, not that there is anything wrong with that, some of my best friend’s are gay, my brother is.”.
7. You could be on a beach in the Caribbean when two joints are thrown onto your lap by Pakistani cricketers who see the cops coming.
“Our religion forbids us from putting anything like that in our bodies.”
6. Allen Stanford could sit on your lap.
“I’ve learnt a lot of oral presentation skills in jail”.
5. By accident you could pick up Mohammad Asif’s bag.
“No I didn’t pack it, and to be honest, I’m just a goat herder.”
4. Find yourself sitting to Darrell Hair on a 24 hour flight the day after spot fixing allegations against Pakistanis.
“I Fucken told you, I told you all, I did, every one of you, ha ha, and Murali is a chucker.”
3. Make a “your mumma is so” joke to any of Glenn McGrath’s children.
“If you ever mention my Fucken mum again…”
2. Wake up in a soundproof basement at Andre Nel’s house secured to a metal slab.
“Rise and shine, Samit. You’re probably wondering where you are. I’ll tell you where you might be. You might be in the room that you die in”.
1. Develop a mental condition that means that every part of your life is commentated on by Laxman Sivaramakrishnan.
“Oh what a wonderful crap that is, it’s struggling to get out though, this is a real tough one now. She is really straining, will she be able to come through this?”
Good to see your sense of humor is finally returning after the emotional trauma of the last post.
There’s another one you can add to the list above:
11. Another India – SL series following the recently concluded Triangular, compromising of 5 tests, 7 ODIs & 9 T20s.
Number 0.9
You realize Jarrod has stopped writing.
“Every Morning You wake up scrolling through your Google Chrome realizing CWB is not your first website on quick pick. Horror”
Old Darrell Hair, hey
I wonder what he is thinking today!
“You could be on a beach in the Caribbean when two joints are thrown onto your lap by Pakistani cricketers who see the cops coming.”
hahahahah!
12. You realise that even after the tears and the vomited bile on pages of NOTW, you are still a perverted masochist who can’t give up on cricket.
13. You anger Shoaib Akhtar while he’s shopping for crab apples.
Could be much much worse if ::
14. You discover that Arun Lal is “grooming” India’s new gen of cricketers
15. Arun Lal sends me a facebook friend request
16. Arun Lal comes out of retirement and starts playing for Pakistan .
( could he ? maybe ? but if yes, would it be worse ?? )
16: Your new lady friend insists on wearing a Shane Watson mask on the back of her head while you make the ’2 backed beast’
17: Discovering that players from most countries have been involved in spot fixing during test matches at some point in the last few years
Aamer is the new Nick the Greek, Asif is the new Cincinnati Kid
jrod,
That is great indeed. Lot more interesting suggestions have come too. But since you did the countdown, I prefer to go down further…
0. ICC Anti Corruption Unit going to be revamped and to be headed by Mohammed Ahzaruddin with Ajay Jadeja, Marlon Samuels and Salim Malik as ‘JOINT’ Directors. The Plan: You need a thieves to catch other thieves !
18 . The MRF blimp becomes a part of cricket broadcasting tradition.
19. Michael Clarke and Shane Watson manage to convince every cricketer that facial hair is for losers. Shoaib Akhtar tries ‘Warts are for Winners’ and fails.
Thats all i got..
toooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo goooooooooooooood
20. Thinking that he is the perfect choice to steer Pakistan from the current pile of sewage, PCB appoints John Buchanen. In his first match, his team talk leads to a forfiet since all the side retires hurt to slipping into boredom inflicted coma. PCB awards Buchanen a raise as the players were stopped “dead” from fixing.
21. Lalit Modi is made the anti corruption head. He starts by telecasting the investigation sessions and makes the ICC millions. Every half hour he calls for a “Strategic pee break”.
This is all funny stuff.I live in cambodia which I think is even more corrupt than pakistan so nothing surprises me.
But we shouldnt think that only sub continent players are involved,aussies and kiwis are equally suspect.
Many cricketers gamble and huge debts can ensue,these people are then owned by the bookies.