Ricky Ponting claims that when he showers an alien by the name of Pinky gives him a special directors commentary of Schindler’s List from the right side of Steve Spielberg’s brain.
Ricky Ponting claims he was the lindberg baby.
Ricky Ponting claims that in a previous life he was Jesus’ butler.
Ricky Ponting claims that with the conditions in his team’s favour that winning 5-0 is possible when asked it as a direct question.
OK, so hardly the same thing, but from the headlines you’d swear he was running around the press conference tongue kissing the journalists with his own shit marking out a 5-0 win on his chest.
It is possible Australia win 5 zip, it is also possible England win it 5 zip.
Other things that are possible:
Shane Watson outing himself as a lover of plush toys.
Luke Wright using a deft touch with the bat to beat Australia in the deciding test.
Nathan Hauritz taking off his shirt and doing the Warne dance when Australia win a test.
Andrew Strauss getting caught with his dick in an exhaust pipe.
Australia or England winning 4-1 or 4-0.
If you asked me if these were possible, I’d say yes.
I probably wouldn’t say, “There’s no reason why not. It’s all in our (their) hands.”
I’d probably say, “none of these events are likely to happen, but there is a slim possibility that if you fucked Tony Greig in the eyeball for an hour straight you’d get nothing more than a sore dick as he is clearly an indestructible mother fucker, but what is more likely is that you’d end up with eye ball under your foreskin and if you have a big dick, just a touch of brain wedged in there too… and eyelashes, I ‘spose”.
Anything is possible.
It is also possible that a captain in the twilight stage of a long career could be asked such an obviously inflammatory question and fuck it up. If the conditions favoured it.
“It is also possible that a captain in the twilight stage of a long career could be asked such an obviously inflammatory question and fuck it up. If the conditions favoured it.”
That is gem of line!!
I’m intrigued. What is this Warne dance? Will it scar me?
lol I laughed so hard, I think I crapped my pant. JRod u r one funny fuck dude :) I’m guessing der are a whole bunch of leprechauns butt fucking the cricketers inside u r brain. If not then I donno how u do it man :) Just keep it coming. Peace
Ricky bless him makes me laugh everytime,next thing will be about him shagging victoria beckham
You disgusting pig !
two-one, or three- one Australia.
Anderson will revert to type and become an up and down med bowler. Swan will find that ball steadfastly refuses to turn even an inch. Finn will cream himself when he sees the bounce and will merciless flogged backward of point and sqaure on the legside.
Or not… : )
The first ball Johnson bowls it would be taken by the second slip fielder.
Every-time Siddle bowls KP would hit him for a six.
Hauritz? Boycott would say my grandmom is better.
Bollinger? even Finn can play him so there is no worry.
Smith? he is a better batsman.
I haven’t seen OZ play in the 80′s but this is the worst Aussie attack I have seen though the patched up attack of Wilson, Dale, Robertson in India in 98 can be considered yet they had Warne and the hardworking Kasper.
Pissing my pants- love the line about Strauss exerting a little private school prefect action on an unsuspecting exhaust pipe. The Tony Greig stuff, shit, that’s making even me shudder.
Other possible unlikelikoods
1: Kevin Pietersen exposed for making ‘special’ home movies with his dacshund. PR release explains he was ‘just getting his eye in’ prior to ashes.
2: Nervous ashes debutant early in debut innings using helmet hidey hole behind wicket keeper for a ‘while it’s still my choice pitstop’.
3: Doug Bollinger accidenatally wearing a VB cap out into the middle instead of his Baggy Green.
4: Richie Benaud and Mark Nicholas introducing hazing by bukkake for commentary team newbies.
5: Shane Warne putting on a few pounds, then announced as lead in new panto called ‘rise of the oompaloompas’.
You are supposed to be vacationing and theskiver writing posts. This was too juicy to pass up, eh?
“hazing by bukkake”
hahahaha