The ICC need your help.
For the world cup they are doing what people do and having a mascot.
No one knows why, but someone did it once and it worked, so now everyone hires some lithium addicted graphic designer to come up with a mascot that will be mocked or ignored.
This mascot is an elephant. My mother in law owned an elephant once, it isn’t true, but that is what I tell the whities.
It isn’t the worst mascot ever, but by definition of being a mascot it sucks a fair chunk of ass.
But the whimsical elephant has no name.
And this is how you can help the ICC.
They want a name for the elephant.
According to the ICC, “The fans have been given a week, between July 20 to July 27, to submit their suggestions for the mascot’s name, the elephant, at mascot@icc-cricket.com“.
There are some things you need to know;
“ICC also said that the name should given keeping in mind the key characteristics of the mascot’s personality.
ICC has tried to imbibe morals of an ideal player into the mascot’s personality by stating that the mascot believes in hard work and is always learning to master the art of concentration.
ICC said the mascot is someone who is young and enthusiastic, and determined individual.
He is someone who thinks cricket is the most fun game in the world and loves playing street cricket. He worships his cricket heroes, their technique, skill and character and dreams of playing in the ICC Cricket World Cup, one day.”
So are you keeping all that in mind? Good.
Now let us try and name the elephant.
I think that only something completely inappropriate will work. Any attempts at naming this Elephant something that means something will just end up in tears, sometimes only inappropriateness is the right thing to do.
I think I get the ICC brief, they want something Asian and young, and I think I have the perfect name.
Slumdog Effigy.
It’s new, fun, plays street cricket, and is ready to be stolen from popular culture. They couldn’t possibly knock it back.
They could do a whole cartoon around little slumdog effigy.
]Slumdog Effigy starts as a leper who is healed by Steve Waugh when he is given a MRF bat deal. From there he is asked to appear on Navjot Sidhu’s game show where he has to wrestle Ravi Ratnayake and two tigers while Rameez Raja interviews Shoaib Akhtar’s genital warts in the background. This leads to him signing a 50 million dollar promotional deal with Cherry Pepsi, meaning he gets invited to an informal lunch with Lalit Modi, while a TV in the background plays an Imran Khan stump speech mentioning him. Finally he gets to the world cup but he is really tired plays useless, but still gets signed up with a revamped ICL who use him as their mascot, meaning that he gets interviewed by Tony Greig as Kapil Dev dances near by.
They sound track would be Mehrab Hossain jnr singing Ronan Keating’s you say it best when you say nothing at all.
If you can do better, send your ideas to mascot@icc-cricket.com by the 27th of July.
I’m going to go with something slightly less inappropriate and call him Aloo in memory of Inzi.
Submit this! Please!
ICC predictably slow in picking the trends.
The next mascot should surely have been an octopus.
‘John’ (not his real name) – the elephant who fixes matches
This is correct, because that honour is shared by the mascots for the unremitting stream of shitness which is the London 2012 Olympics.
How about Elephanty the Elephant. Got a great ring to it.
Chris, I like Elephanty the Elephant better than my one now.
Bottom edge, I was thinking of those two as I wrote.
An overlong tournament with meaningless matches. Surely, the elephant should be called Lalit?
Paki-derm? (no offense to my cross border cousins)
David, in that case it should be called Giles. Surely you’ll agree that 151>60 :)
Get, Paki-derm is inspired.
Mahek and Reverse, how about Lalit Clarke.
First look at the image, I thought it was a man dressed as a rhino. How about Rhino-man?
Haathiway.
Haathi = elephant in Hindi/Urdu.
Haathis are reverred in Sri Lanka.
Haathiway sounds English enough to not cause the more anglicised nations to feel alienated.
Also, with all the “young and enthusiastic, and determined… someone who thinks cricket is the most fun game in … worships his cricket heroes, their technique, skill and character” ICC blah blah, it calls to mind The Chappel Way and all its (just ask the Indian team) blah blah about thinking hats and pink elephants and all. (Okay, I made that last bit up).
And most important, there are surely fresh sponsorship opportunities with Hathway Cable — if only to tether the Haathiway blimp and talk about strong last-mile connectivity or something.
And if none of that works: ‘Musthi, The Psychotic Elephant’ .
I think Lalit Allen Clarke/Giles Lalit Stanford/Allen Giles Modi works.
Oh I got it!!!!!!!!!!!
It’s gotta be Sharad Pawar. Now there’s an elephant if I’ve ever seen one.
Paki-derm would be offensive to a whole race of subcontinent people living in Engerland.
John Howard.
Sach, I said inappropriate, not evil.
Sunny, Cricket gets kids involved in cricket, not mascots.
Can’t we just call him Dumbo, the cricket-playing elephant?
That way we can get at least the kids interested in watching cricket.
I don’t think kids these days know Dumbo. Or Bambi. They’re busy checking out Heather Brooks and Jenna Jameson.
My stars. I just looked up the London 2012 Mascots, thankfully, I’ve not known about them till now.
What glue-sniffer thought they were a good idea?
Never seen so much tripe written in one post. ..
Bally, Thanks for reading.
True, Mehak. I just thought of this later.
Maybe they should have made the mascot look like either of the two you mentioned.
And what to do if kids just won’t watch cricket because of the cricket? Mascots of these kind might just help to promote cricket…no?
Sunny, was there a mascot for the world t20? For the IPL? For the NBA? And how do these kids get exposed to the mascot, by watching the cricket and seeing him for 3 seconds at a time?
There should be a mascot for the IPL. A big wad of cash with LKM’s picture on every note.
Oh well, let’s just drop the bloody idea then.
But that of Mahek seems good though.
name it “RYDER THE ELEPHANT”
Sumbya is called chield who like Innocent and Nutty.
It should be Funky Trunky, with a theme song like this, sportreview jr’s fav tune.
Either that or Smelly the Elephant.
If humans keep going like this we will Only see Mascot after 100 years, and we have already started to get use to it, by introducing them in Sporting events. How about we give a whole continent to these animals in human free zone (we can’t even do that now, since nature is killed in every continent)… We are smothering every animals destroying every species one by one. I am so glad that we aren’t immortals, otherwise we would have already created hell on earth.
Here is my tip to ICC,
Donate fucking, 500,000 $ to elephant charity for using animal as a mascot.
sorry not in cricket mood
I would call it “Mascot – the mascot for this tournament”
well, talk about the universal appeal!!
I like ‘Elephanty.’
One question, though: how does he bowl? Or hold a bat? He doesn’t have fingers – hell, he doesn’t even have paws! He has stumps. Flat, featureless stumps.
Making a creature like this play cricket is horrendously cruel. Then again…this *is* the ICC…
This ICC approach is exactly the way Jack Johnson write songs. He writes the music first, then gets really confused when he comes to the lyrics. Then gets fed up and sings “boopity boopity boopity tingly tingly tongle, making banana pancakes, schlongoly wongoly scholongle”
White Elephant – So apt.
I second Masthi. It’s perfect.
His name is John. Plain simple John. We all know a John who plays cricket. Just because he’s an elephant, why do we have to christen him with a daft name? The poor fucker has suffered enough – I mean – look it him. He’s gonna get teased at colts, spirit of cricket or no spirit of cricket.
Rob Key.
What do I win?