cricket with balls

Yesterday I wrote all about the fingers of Rahim.

Those delightful little of hands of his getting pounded by Shahzad.

When a batsmen gets hit in the fingers it is rough, but when a keeper does, it just seems unfair.

We’ve all met a wicket keeper over the years who has fingers pointing in more directions than one of those wacky road signs.

The last thing they need is to be hit when batting.

But as much as this last test sucked for Rahim, it was Prior that seemed to be living in pure sorrow.

Here was a guy who has a healthy average in test cricket (although not as good as it was recently), has improved his keeping, a wife billionaires want to flirt with and a chance to cement his place further with good performances against Bangladesh.

This should have been the series of shits and giggles for him, instead it was the series that he played with Craig K’s muscular thighs around his neck.

Prior was the real  life version of a Hanna Barbera cartoon character under pressure.  Sweating, triple checking himself and a confused puppy dog expression at all times.

His keeping slipped, his batting became turgid and painful to watch and he played with the confidence of a 14 year old kid trying to convince a bouncer he was old enough to enter the night club.

Prior is performing as well in test cricket as most wicket keepers.

By that I mean he can bat pretty well, scores quickly, still takes more than he drops and is not a waste of time.

This should mean something, but England have perhaps one of the finest array of back up keepers in modern cricket.

James Foster is the best glove man in the world right now.

Tell Em Steve Davies has a touch of Gilchrist in his batting and safe hands.

Chris Read still has fans across county cricket.

And neither Tim Ambrose or Geraint Jones wants to go away.

This is not mentioning Craig K (I’m using K instead of his last name because Prior has enough pressure on him).

I have no idea who Craig K’s agent is, but they have done the business.  Even before Craig was qualified he was assured of at least one go in the national side.

If I had his agent I’d be hosting cricket writers on TV next week.

Prior’s innings at Old Trafford was about as painful as he knows how to bat.  The bowling was so bad at times he had enough time to debate with himself over which shot he should play, and the defensive one often won.

It was his Craig K scares the shit out of me innings.

The fact that after all the nudging nurdling and over thinking he would go out playing a reverse sweep tells you everything about what was going on between his ears.

Then there was the keeping.

A finger injury meant that Prior was wincing even more than if they had a camera on him during the World T20 final.

It also meant that he fumbled a lot, even for him.

And considering how long Bangladesh’s second innings went for, 13 byes is pretty poor.

No, this wicket keeping game is sick and wrong.

One spot in the team that if you are lucky enough to get you will end up with deformed fingers.

Who wants that?

Watching Prior bat or keep was just a painful experience, and add in Rahim’s fingers, and any mother who lets their child become a wicket keeper is a poor mother. It’s crickets version of stubbing out your cigarette on your child’s face.

Actually, any mother who lets their child be a wicket keeper should have to see a documentary of Prior’s face throughout this test.

If they make it through that and let their kids become keepers, then their must be a jail for them somewhere.