Today cricket died a little.
The man that we all love, the man that took cricket from the arthritic fingers of the ICC and turned it into money, the man that made talking on two phones at once an artform, the man is suspended.
Suspended is tying it in a bow and getting a clown to deliver it. One way or another, Lalit is on his way out.
Lalit Modi is the man I have tried to emulate as much as I could. In bizzaro world I am him and he is me. We have an unspoken bond that would make the most lust filled teenagers blush. If you cut him, I bleed.
Right now I am bleeding as various people are following Lalit with Lawyer sharp machetes trying to cut him down for ever.
Behind him is a trail of shredded paper that says things about tax, impropriety, political favours, tweets, lawsuits, spot fixing and all those dirty little secrets that lots of people have suspected. All the good things in life.
Not all of it is his, perhaps none is, but the man has run out of favours, and when you have burnt as many bridges as Lalit has, favours are important.
Like all of the most maverick cricket administracrats, Lalit flew to close to the sun. We know that the average administracrat is a smooth talking, quick minded, angry, slick individual, but Lalit was so much more.
He tweeted. He smoked. He bullied. He improvised. He libeled (allegedly). He was the power, the throne, and the bump you hear in the night. His raw suxual mojo was too much for the stuffy shirt brigade and like Bettie Paige he was held accountable for being whatever every official wanted to be.
Now all we can do is cry while cricket has lost an Armani wearing gladiator, someone who showed us all that in cricket, the pen is mightier than the bat. While others sat around letting cricket just happen, Lalit got in there, replaced some organs, gave it a plastic surgery and bought it a sexy outfit. He was cricket’s prince Charming, nicer than Mr Darcy, more emotional than Edward in twilight, hotter than Patrick Swayze in Dirty Dancing.
While Lalit was around, nobody put cricket in the corner.
Without Lalit the IPL would have been a terrible waste of money, instead in the Aaron Spelling like hands of Lalit, the IPL is, well whatever the IPL is.
Losing Lalit leaves a whole of despair and isolation in my heart that may never be healed. Sure there will be other slicked back officials coming in and changing the game as we know it, but Lalit was my first. It was he whom I gave myself to, and as I lie here naked all I can think about is the great times we had together. Those whipped cream filled nights will be what I think of every night as my head touches the pillow.
Now that he is to be killed, and his body to be fed to other eager potential commissioners, I think the IPL should honour him from next year on.
Surely as much as some of you hate him, none of you would begrudge the IPL for having a “Lalit moment of success”.
As Elton John said, “Your candle burned out long before the legend ever did”.
Dance hard, my tiny little dancer.
You see I mentioned Shredding and now so have you
Elton John at CWB. Fantastic
.-= Leg Break´s last blog ..The Great NRL Intersite Tipping Challenge =-.
This is for Lalit Modi
This is for you Jrod and All of who were secretly in love with LM (that includes me too)
Long live the King
Knowledge, I think two coldplay songs counts as spam.
Cricket Chick, And here I was thinking I stole from myself on the TMsofa podcast from earlier today.
Shyttt you don’t like Coldplay. Or may be song was wrongly chosen.
Spam it is then .. please put Lalit friendly song then ..
He probably is coming back soon , the soul like he has got can’t be arrested and kept away from action
.-= Mudassar @ CricketVibe.com´s last blog ..IPL Heroes in ICC World T20 what do you expect? =-.
This is so beautiful I might cry…
I think we can name a choke of South African proportions a “Lalit moment of Fuckup”
.-= Sach´s last blog ..What I Miss the Most =-.
Coldplay songs? That brings up the question: what’s better? Chris Martin singing or Chris Martin batting?
.-= Rishabh´s last blog ..Still, Mumbai Indians > Chennai Super Kings =-.
You are right JRod, Lalit is a tender, kind and misunderstood soul. Without him the IPL would be as big as the rather naff English T20 competition minus the bizarre wild west themed finals.
Maybe the ICC should bite the bullet and install Modi as its chief. That would get the BCCI and IPL worried!
.-= The Reverse Sweep´s last blog ..MS Dhoni – Captain Extraordinaire =-.
JRod, I hereby serve you a show-cause notice for putting an image that amalgamates (1) Whipped Cream (2) Lalit Modi and (3) You, Naked in our heads. In fact screw the show-cause, let it be a Public Interest Litigation.
If anyone who reads this blog picks up his .357 Magnum, loads it, spins the chamber, points it at his head and asks himself ‘Do you feel lucky… punk?’ as a result of this post, it’s your fault. You have 15 days to respond; failure to do so satisfactorily will result in your being asked to give up blogging; you will then be banished to Rajasthan where you will have to run a multi-crore tobacco business owned by Lalit’s daddy.
You needed someone like Modi to start and run something as audaciouss as the IPL. His legend will live forever along with Kerry Packer.
Holy fuck…Elton John?
Man that was a pisser of an article. I am going to crawl into a corner and sob myself to the DLF Maximum.
But yes, it has all gone tits up. It went from Nine Inch Nails to Elton John now. Actually wait…it is still nine inch nails. That’s what the BCCI will use now to nail LKM to the scoreboard now.
.-= Sriram´s last blog ..Withdrawal Symptoms =-.
Sach, Shaitaan, superb stuff!
But, friends fuckers and jrod, what if , just what if, the bcci now takes control of the ipl in its usual pissy fashion and it collapses – wont that be just dandy for real cricket. we can but hope.
And while the kangaroo court (no aussies, this isn’t about aussie rules basketball) is in session, can’t we nail a few more ministers like that dickhead praful.
smoking pot is excitment but smoking pot is illegal………..
the way he goes about his business, one kinda feels that modi had it coming……..but you gotta appreciate the fact that even till his last breath (the IPL final), he was smiling and participating in the proceedings as if nothing was wrong at all…..
.-= Sashank´s last blog ..Modi-Dick =-.
Life is just my dog’s dream; the moment it wakes up from sleep, we are all fucked!
- Freaks and Geeks
Long live the circus master! Legalize pot! Save the planet! Go green.. tsk tsk. didn he make his jokers plant pots b4 start of every match? Ah! The clever bastard! Pot rules!