I just received this email from an anonymous Indian cricket fan:
As an Indian fan, I am really sick and tired of all this quiet introspective talk of county cricket.
The tournament is a joke. It isn’t played in prime time. They never advertise it. It isn’t even on youtube. Cricinfo hides it away like it is some disabled family member.
County Cricket only really appeals to boring old Englishman who drink tea and eat crumpets. They all sit around and talk about the Queen and read the Telegraph. Wearing bacon and egg ties. They aren’t real fans. They don’t get up and scream, there is no passion in them.
The lack of advertising during play is embarrassing, the commentators never shout, and at the grounds no one dances.
I can’t say I’ve ever even heard of a celebrity attending a county game, and they certainly don’t own any of the teams.
Have you seen how long the tournament goes for, it feels like the whole bloody summer.
Singles are given polite applause, what sort of nonsense is this.
I even heard a story of someone reading a book at a game, no respect.
You also know that the people who started County Cricket did so to take over world cricket, don’t you?
Say what you want about Lalit Modi, but at least his suits fit well, what’s your excuse, Giles?
Other than these rabid cucumber eating Englishman, why would anyone care about it?
If I want to go see second rate South Africans and Public School boys play, I’ll cough up some real money and watch the English Cricket Team.
So I’m sorry, County Cricket, but you aren’t for me.
A. Non.
“County Cricket only really appeals to boring old Englishman who drink tea and eat crumpets. They all sit around and talk about the Queen and read the Telegraph. Wearing bacon and egg ties.”
Ha, ha, ha.
Nice Windup.
…and the only blimps are the Colonel Blimps who harrumph their fury at the riff-raff without ties allowed into the ground. It’ll be women watching next!
While this email is little overboard, for an average Indian cricket fan, county cricket is a big bore. However, this email looks like a strong reaction to the umpteen articles in cricinfo which stated that they would watch county cricket against the crass IPL.
The comment “Second rate South Africans” is funny.
I am completed tired of reading articles / comments on various sites and blogs about how bad the IPL is and they would rather watch something else and now I am afraid there will probably be equal number of articles of how other cricket including country cricket is boring.
This is really frustrating. Why cant someone watch what they want to watch without some other idiot trying to say what they like is the only real cricket and everything else sucks.
If you dont like something, dont watch it. There are so many sports channels now. Just watch something else or better yet – go out of your house and enjoy your life. Let people watch what they want to watch in peace.
Oddly enough, I had an empassioned email today emploring me to use my power as a blogger to save the County Championship from it’s Tuesday-Friday exile…they didn’t mention any particular love of crumpets though.
.-= GoodCricketWicket´s last blog ..English players at the IPL =-.
Am I the only one who recognized the satire?
Miroslav, nope. I find it wonderful, too. It’s cricket heaven. With crumpets!
.-= Wes´s last blog ..NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO =-.
This made my day JROD ahhaha its worth wasting my reading time on you. I wish I had money. Haha absolutely hilarious .. and may be worth letting County Organizers read.
I might be ignorant, but I am sensing whatever happen to GM motors in North America, thats what happening to County Cricket.
I mean just think about it, County players make good money. GM cars employes were making very very good money. BUT people started to buy cars which had more resale. Money given was still good for GM. Money given was/is still great for County Crickters, but where the fuck are buyers.
Look at Modi and team owners, they are making that much of money and players are getting less than 25-30 % combine, compare to profit.
Right now, GM motors doooooooomed fucken big time and they drown many many Americans with them, lot of people are unemployed.
Who were affected in this one !! And People who own the GM .. NO ..
the poor worker — yeah because that was there probably. major income source.
Similar shyt with County Cricket.
My tips: STOP the fucking journalists and TV to Gossip … STOP making headlines that hey we are fucked. (JK you are an exception) Just make ticket price less,
If i would be owning county and seeing empty stand, I would say.. make it 3 pound or 5 pound .. give the crowd some thing that they haven’t experienced.
Let the people know that “who said we are fucked” in fact they aren’t yet. STOP whining on AIR (switch Hit) T20 is the worst thing happen to cricket. Indians will run over you, and make millions out of your whining.
I am an Indian and why am I wasting my time here.
Because I like JK, I don’t like when people go unemployed. Owners will always survive, players are the only who is going to suffer. More cricket More employment.
Invite Natalie Portman in to ground, I might just fly there. (even though I don’t have money)
There are more opportunities for spot betting in county cricket, it will always have a future. Spread markets for pigeons landing on the outfield, number of elderly asleep at exactly 3 in the afternoon, lecherous panama hat wearers considering fucking the woman three rows in front even though she’s got a mole the size of a paintball, amount of “Westcountry” style cider brewed in Bulgaria consumed…
Gigi, you find me a bookmaker a where I can bet on those markets and you will make me a happy man.
Miro you lack the chronic lack of perception other readers of this page know is a pre-requisite to reading. Please try and be more reactionary or short tempered please.
County cricket is great, so happy the season is underway. So many great opportunities to enjoy the Viagra post lunch doze.
Nice article Jrod, but I really wish an Indian were this funny.
You are a funny man, Indian emailer whose turn of phrase mimicks Jrod’s so neatly. Very clever to present a point of view that the reader might not like in such and empathic way- likely to engender a sympathetic listen if not agreeance.
or is this a Jroddian reductio ad absurdem, taking a form of cricket that we all think is a bit naff, but deep down really love, and squeezing out a great big steaming mr whippy on its chest while it is sleeping – banking on us ultimately forming a halleluja chorus, arms around the world type thingy in support of county cricket
or maybe Jrod is saying it’s ok to like County cricket AND IPL, that even tho both have aspects that are quite shit, they are both better than east enders – more like double enders, bookmarking the most distant poles which mark the gamut of expression our great game is capable. And by extension suggesting that we apposite cricket fans should enjoy the pleasure that can be derived from the other end of the specrum, rather than railing against it.
@Klose
Indeed man, I never thought people could have SUCH dry sense of humor. Not many seems to have realized this article for what it is. Funny.
.-= Sach´s last blog ..Happy New Year Peeps! =-.
Surprising that people still fall for it after so many such “serious” posts.
.-= Dhananjay Mhatre´s last blog ..A tribute to Anil Kumble =-.
Cricinfo hides it away like it is some disabled family member
HAHAAAAAA!!!!!! Get this guy to blog for you, JRod! He is legendary! :D
And the stupid English let dogs into the ground, and I’m not talking about the women either.
.-= The Reverse Sweep´s last blog ..Topsy turvy Delhi blow it again =-.
“Other than these rabid cucumber eating Englishman, why would anyone care about it?”
Brilliant.
jrod satires at multiple levels – seemingly, this is a satire on County Cricket but it is actually on “Anon Indian fans”. No, wait, I am not sure…man, this is brilliant at multiple levels. After a long time, this blog justifies its pre-eminent status in Cricketing blog world
I think Jrod is speculating at best or is full of shit. We will never know the real truth until someone who has gnawed on a cucumber while watching an IPL match chimes in.
I personally tried eating a crumpet once while Dinda bowled to Ladda and reached such a sublime high that I got the real munchies.
Or maybe this whole thing is just existential wanking. Kind of like speculating about what would happen if that freaky Saffer bugle call was used during a lazy afternoon at Taunton. How would the Marsten soaked bare bellies react to it?
.-= Sriram´s last blog ..Withdrawal Symptoms =-.
Sriram, when i eat a crumpet it’s usually the crumpet that reaches sublime highs. Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for lunching at the Y, but maybe it was just the surreality of Dinda’s Rambo headband that gave you the munchies.
You are a friggin artist, sire!
I enjoyed it like I would a food-orgasm, a vintage Sachin inngs, a Warne Test session… what brilliance!
IPL has a proper scandal now. all you got is some washed up paki leggie involved in matchfixing.
Shaitaan,
The only kind of crumpet I know of is the one you are extolling. Didnda’s headband? Naaah…I was just too well prepared…
.-= Sriram´s last blog ..Withdrawal Symptoms =-.
Isn’t the plural of crumpet ‘crumpet’?
I’m pretty sure it is.
Hay, what about plural.
There isn’t much difference between ‘Get lost’ and ‘Get Lots’.