Picking John Howard for the top ICC job is genius.
You might not think that would be my opening line, but think about it, the Australians have picked the one man who is way more of a cunt than Lalit Modi.
Just finding that person is hard, but then convincing him to take the job takes a special effort.
To be a cricket administrator these days you need to be either dictated to by big business, adept of strangling people with red tape or just evil. The ICC should be ecstatic they have found a man who excels on all fronts.
I can’t think of a more devious flawed con-artist to take the job, but being that the president of the ICC has as much power as the person who runs your local Video store, this is a perfect job for John Howard.
Not that he won’t try and get his hands dirty.
Any of the possible outcomes are possible:
Howard takes over the ICC and sees that the BCCI is the one true power and thusly shoves his nose up their ass and becomes their puppet. He justifies this by saying “while cricket fans may think I am making the wrong decision, as far as the economic situation dictates at this present time there is simply no other option for myself on behalf of the International Cricket Council and that I now feel like I have solidified a strong strategic allegiance with the Board of Cricket Control in India. I am sure that when they sit down to meet they will take the best interests of the world wide game into their minds before they make any decisions based on what suits their own interests best.”
Howard decides that the IPL is the enemy and that it must be broken down so it does not massively destruct the game of cricket. He plans to attack the league on many fronts to divide and conquer, he even declares victory, but it is obvious that he has no real idea what he is talking about and the IPl continues to flourish. Lalit Modi does get fired as the commissioner and Howard then claims that it was his plan all along to make Lalit step down and he thinks that in this current state the IPL is a good for cricket.
Howard declares that Pakistan shall be kicked out of cricket. At first he declines to give reasons, but when asked, the ICC, on his behalf, claim that the whole Pakistani team is involved in match fixing. The media goes into a frenzy, some stating that Howard did the right thing, others staring at the flimsy evidence that is put forward by the ICC. Shortly after an ICC employee admits to faking the evidence and the ICC hires a new PR team.
On Howard’s first trip to Sri Lanka he has to give a speech to their cricket board and interested parties about his previous calls that he believes Murali is a chucker. The speech goes well with Howard humbly apologising, making jokes at his expense and admitting that he was not fully informed at the time of the comment. Most Sri Lankans take it well but Arjuna Ranatunga refuses to accept the apology and drills many hard hitting questions at Mr Howard which makes him sweat in the warm climate and he loosens his shirt collar only for a bullet proof vest to be visible underneath. This does not please the Sri Lankans much.
Howard stops wearing green tracksuits and starts wearing ICC issue pyjamas everywhere he goes.
Nothing changes because the position of the ICC president is the most unpowerful seat in cricket; even the gate attendant at McLean Park in Napier has more.
With Howard anything can happen. He is a cowboy , kinda bush clone.
If he get rid of Lalit Modi from IPL , he actually won. Because there is no one better than Lalit modi. Others (old bcci fools) can manage for sure but no one adapt to new creative things to make money like modi doing now.
ICC is in desperate need of a guy of Howard stature. He might not have the powers himself but the opportunity to influence the power players. Howard got the love of the game and i hope he transforms the ICC into a meaningful organization, which shouldnt be twisted for one powers gain. and at the same time ICC shoudnt be used against any single country.
what would have ICC become till 2012. may be Howard a decent guy refuses to take charge, citing the then 2012 status of ICC.
Well, theres always that other mass-murdering cunt, Blair, to fall back on.
If the taliban get him, won’t it be just dandy.
Will not denying the Iraq holocaust be a crime among cricket playing nations then?
Steady on now chaps, right wing authoritarian cunts tend to be big cricket fans.
John Howard will fit right in to that official ICC band: Haroon Lorgat and the Buttheads.
Thats what cricket needs right now another racist cunt head
I vote for John Howard. Lets split ICC. :D
REVOLUTIONARY!
.-= Mock Wah´s last blog ..World T20 champs, Unbeaten side of the summer & Chockers =-.
Don’t worry, after two years of Sharad ‘The Sugar Daddy’ Pawar’s reign, Howard will be looking distinctly Obama-like.
‘Cept his plainspeaking slogan for the ICC will probably be: ‘Yes, we’re cunts’.
ha ha, just think though it could have been worse. What if Pauline Hanson had got the job?
Lalit Modi is apparently worried by El Presidente though see http://thereversesweep.typepad.com/blog/2010/03/look-out-lalit-modi-el-presidente-is-coming-to-get-you.html
.-= The Reverse Sweep´s last blog ..A big thank you to Eoin Morgan =-.
[...] John Howard for President [...]
Howard for Head Dick.
.-= damiths´s last blog ..Soon to be head dick =-.
Maybe he will go to Sri Lanka and give Murali a demonstration on Off-Spin bowling :)
Or maybe he’ll present his rear to murali and ask him to do “whatever he likes” with it! :D
I thought it was finally going to be OK to move back to Oz, now that this incredible twat was fading into the shadows. But thanks to this ICC thing, Australians are going to have to put up with this pathetic Margaret Thatcher in drag confronting them on the telly and in newspapers for the foreseeable future.
Mind you, on the sight of Buller Dave I just start grinding my teeth.
I’m moving to France, I can’t speak the lingo so at least it will take me a while for their politicians/celebrities to piss me off. I’ll also be safe in case the poms (read Eoin Morgan) win the Ashes this year.
Anyone that pisses off socialists and chuckers gets my vote and did. The best Aussie PM ever.
The major crime here is that Sir John Anderson from Nzud didn’t get the guernsey.
Question is, if the Afghans get test status, will he let them into Australia?
Probably not. They left their fucking camels here last time.
Seriously though, a tour of Afghanistan by Australia would be a great idea. I think the top tier countries should take time out to do tours like that. It might be a whipping fest (or not) but it gets the game out there. They could even send their “A” teams.
8 Tests per year, few(er) ODIs, lots of weekend domestic T20 games – push for a fixed calender, ala soccer leagues. Howard can do that, cant he?
cb
Read this on cricinfo re the johnson-styris clash:
What do you call someone that attemps to headbutt a person wearing a helmet?
Answer: An Australian
Oh, nobody got banned for the physical confrontation – fair enough, there were no niggers involved – except uncle tom madugulle.