When Jesse Ryder first injured his groin I made jokes about it. And now I feel the same urge.
But his groin, as magnificent as a groin can be, is no laughing matter.
Jesse has been out of cricket so long that I can’t even remember his smile.
To be exact that is 10,713,600 seconds, or 124 days. I know this because of my Jesse Ryder calendar in my room.
You might think that 124 days is not a long time, but in Jesse time, this is years.
We don’t know how much Jesse we will get, he is not the Michael Hussey type of level headed sensibly attired well groomed individual.
Tomorrow he could get drunk and strangle the flight of the conchord boys.
He could get run over crossing the road at 2am for his buckets of chicken
A nurse could fall in love with him and convince him to farm potatoes.
So we need him back playing cricket.
This groin that has already hidden him from us for 124 days is now ruining tours that haven’t even happened yet.
No Jesse for the Australia and Bangladesh tours, and now not even the smoothly manicured hands of Lalit Modi can get Jesse fit for the IPL.
It looks like this groin will continue being the bane of my existence.
But, if you are a kiwi, maybe there is something you can do.
If you are walking down the street and you see Jesse, don’t just bow down worshipping at his impressive alter, go up to him and offer to massage his groin.
If nothing else, the offer will make him feel better.
Come on, kiwis, get your hands on Jesse’s groin, and let us heal it with the power of love.
In fact, even those of you who can’t get to Jesse can help, put his groin in your prayers/thoughts/dreams.
We need to work together people, a global cyber healing hand for Jesse, and his groin.
Touch him, like he has touched us.
Get better soon, big fella.
Jesse Ryder is has apparently given up drinking.
.-= The Village Cricketer´s last blog ..When The Village Cricketer met Iain O’Brien =-.
Has he given up whacking chairs with his bat, as well?
I bet he’s tried ‘healing’ himself a lot.
.-= Rishabh´s last blog ..IPL 3 – Transfers – You read it here! =-.
I reckon he is secretly loosing some fat and soon out of his hide out he will come to the surprise of all of us and then Jrod you will not complain he isn’t a Mussey/
.-= Reverse Swing´s last blog ..Punter and MoYo at Shooting of a Comedy Film for Bollywood =-.
124 days is long enough for a groin injury to be healed. Could it be that NZC is brainwashing the plump warrior and making him into a probot. I mean, they could have tried to do the same to O’Brien. He must have told them to fuck off and hence took premature retirement.
Rub a dub dub.. 3 men in a tub !!
.-= Mock Wah´s last blog ..W.W.W.S. – AGAIN =-.
@swing – yeah…it will be a surprise if he comes back.
Monkey Fonics
If ever there was a link between eating hamburgers and groin injuries, Jesse is it.
A Jesse updateish
http://www.stuff.co.nz/sport/cricket/3279240/Jesse-Ryder-reveals-his-untamed-past
And did you put your cv in again jrod
Labrat, I tried, but they had taken down the advert when I was on their site. I’m sure I was in their top 5.