dirty dirk roars

Victoria are the champions of the Racist Chicken Franchise’s bash, for the 4th time out of 5.

They won the final without their captain, import, best 2020 player or CWB’s Nice Bryce McGain.

They did have the raw beastly power of Dirty Dirk Nannes, a man cricket with balls was talking up when people thought he was a mythical beast of my creation.

Nothing mythical about him now, the dude has travelled the world kicking ass, taking names and bearding all over batsmen.

The Australian selectors still want to distance themselves from him most of the time, and I understand that, his masculinity scares them.

But in this final he picked South Australia up like a rag doll.

8 runs in 4 overs.

Nasty.

There was also the wicket of their courageous leader, 8 runs in 4 overs, that is like scary good.

That is like finding out William Shatner is your dad good.

Dirty Dirk was beating South Australia with essentially one little finger (like you know who) so he even threw in a wide, just for giggles.

Now Victoria is once again of the hirsute one’s shoulders.

I haven’t seen a ball of it, but I know how it all went down.

Dirk entered the ground with his top off and the live version of Blind by Korn pumping.

Women fainted, men fainted, aliens fainted.

The crowd then regained consciousness and got in a collective group hug waiting for Dirk to end their dreams, and their children’s dreamds, and their children’s children’s ….

Dirk stood at the top of his mark and breathed fire, literally, for 2 minutes straight before coming in and bowling thunderbolts, literally.

The crowd was heartbroken, and yet aroused.

Any moment of the game that Dirk wasn’t playing was like watching a friend play a cricket computer game, against the computer.

Then, Dirty Dirk Nannes prevails.

The world can then settle down again knowing that there is a force far greater than them out there, it makes them feel insignificant and content at the same time.

If you are one of those people that think 2020 cricket isn’t real cricket, or that this is a passing fad, let me say this, who gives a fuck, the Vics keep winning at it.

Bring on India so the Vics can lose form for the champion’s league again.

Viva La Dirty Dirk!

Buy the book, get a t-shirt, or donate to the whisky fund.

About these ads
Tagged ,

0 thoughts on “dirty dirk roars

  1. Mahek says:

    Fancy having Dirk and Daniel on the Daredevils. Maybe we could have a Bruce Wayne/Batman type superhero. Daniel with his impeccable manners and honest bowling is part of the establishment while Dirk is an adrenaline junkie who jumps off snowy cliffs with skis, bombs Japan and breaks batsmen’s jaws for 100 mph bouncers.
    .-= Mahek´s last blog ..FICA and the need for a Collective Bargaining Agreement – II =-.

  2. Sunny says:

    taking a wicket first ball always helps. he basically was one half of the good cop / bad cop routine. he softened us for pattison to clean up.

  3. ….his masculinity scares them.

    Now I know the reason why Andrew Hilditch loves Muffin and Steven Smith! :P
    .-= Cricket Tragic´s last blog ..Anil Kumble – A romantic’s dream! =-.

  4. alex says:

    Dirk Nannes rocks. Why aussies do not pick him Test or ODI. He goes all out. I like the way he bowl. Steaming in.

    He is absolutely awsome!. Even if he plays 1 year , aussie should select him for TEST and ODI’s.

    Come on Jrod , write a letter to hilditch. :D

  5. 12th Man says:

    I just watched the highlights. That Aaron Finch is some slogger!!
    .-= 12th Man´s last blog ..Final Countdown =-.

  6. Rishabh says:

    The second half of this article made the hairs on my arm stand up :|

    Blizzard was great too, you know. The target might not have been much without him!
    .-= Rishabh´s last blog ..IPL 3 – Transfers – You read it here! =-.

  7. Brad Hodge says:

    Victoria were missing their best 20/20 player – excuse me?

    As for Nannes, that prick will choose Delhi over the Vics if they make the Champions League. What a fraud, nothing masculine about that.

  8. Snuff says:

    Hey Brad
    How much has to be written about dirty Dirk’s contract for you to understand that he had no choice but to play for Delhi? Just so happens he was the only IPL player who was required by his IPL team of all those Aussies that played in the ICL.
    Maybe if the Aussie selectors acknowledged that he existed, he may have gone into a court battle to play for Victoria.
    Why the hell would you when Delhi feeds your family and the Aussie selectors have only ever selected him with great reluctance, and then made it rain so he didn’t get a chance to embarass them.

  9. alex says:

    What about Brad hodge giving first maiden in last 2 years in Big Bash to nobody?. :D

    Delhi Dardevils Rocks!. Dir Nannes da man,

    I never seen a bowler with such a full force. Brett lee is more of a machine , akthar just throws more than breet lee.

    He bowls like he is mano vs mano against batsman.

  10. Dirty Dirk was full of awesome on the final day. More than the speed, it was the length which scared the batsmen. One commentator noted that this was Test match bowling. Yes it was. Which is why Test cricket rocks and Nannes got to play at least one. Next Ashes, just set him loose amongst the Poms. He has already embarrassed them once in the World T20. Do not think the current English batsmen can withstand his armpit directed bazooka shots.

  11. Mock Wah says:

    u cant count Dirty Dirk along with lesser mortals. no wonder he plays for 2 nations unlike the other ordinary beings..
    .-= Mock Wah´s last blog ..While Wah were Sloshed… =-.

  12. Brad Hodge says:

    Taking the piss Alex?

    A test double ton and a test average higher than anyone in the current Australia side, a World Cup century, Victoria’s leading run scorer of all time in all forms of cricket, four out of the last five Big Bashes, two Sheffield Shields, I even have an international wicket for Christ’s sake

    What are your credentials?

    Sure Dirk was great, it was unbelievable to watch, but he wont be wearing the Big V in the Champions League, so fuck him. And fuck you too.

  13. Sunny says:

    should dirty be getting ready for the olympics or something?

  14. matt says:

    I had the misforune to be there, what a horrid game, from Taitys no ball wicket in the first over to Manous first ball exit (incidentally the first ball of the match to swing – begging the question is Dirty Dirk the chuck Norris of cricket?) Even the typically fluif Cosgrove laked his trademark timing.

    What I disliked the most tho was a handful of the S’Aussie fans. At test cricket- no dramas- awesome polite crowd.
    At the 20 20’s tho is seems they let in Central Districts fans (Like collongwood supporters only more rabid) and they were both feral and disgusting – f’ing and blinding, threatening spectators with physical violence if they so much as looked at them sideways, and offering prolonged. drunken threats and abuse to a lone Vic fan. I’ve been to a lot of footy games and never seen worse behaviour… and certainly never seen anything like it at the cricket… and fuck that makes me mad!

  15. Sunny says:

    @matt – there is always a different set that comes in for the test cricket compared to the limited variety. i have seen drunken fights, pouring blood, and the occasional shag. it all comes to the fore on australia day.

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 18,304 other followers