How would you like to be a Pakistani cricketer right now?
You’ve just totally blown a Test series against Australia, in Australia, by collectively showing less bottle than Stuart Broad when faced with a Dutch batsman.
Then you fuck up an ODI by allowing Cameron White – Cameron Freaking White – to score a hundred. At over a run a ball. Without at any time being in a Powerplay.
As a player, you can’t rely upon any of your teammates not to commit some appalling fuckup during the course of the game, be it batting, bowling or fielding (or, in the case of Shahid Afridi, all three). The only guy you might trust is your captain, who although he fields like an arthritic walrus does at least put a price on his wicket.
Except you can’t, because your cricket board chairman has just announced that, at the end of the current ODI series, he’ll be sacked. Which is a totally freaking bizarre way of going about things. If you are going to sack someone, you sack them. You don’t give them two weeks warning of their sacking, leaving them a dead man walking. And you don’t sack the only guy in the team that can, at the current time, be sure of his place in the team.
There’s no no incentive for Mohammed Yousuf to play like a leader should, and there’s equally little incentive for his team to follow him. As a succession, it makes some of England’s recent captaincy changes look sensible and organised. They might as well just hand Australia the series win and go home now.
The cricket board chairman in question is named Ijaz Butt, which couldn’t be more apt for a man making a complete arse of himself.
How demoralising that will be. Mind you, it’s not like Pakistan are likely to win the series anyway, so it’s still less a fuck up than making Cook captain.
.-= SarahCanterbury´s last blog ..Tim Groenewald under pressure =-.
You forgot they can screw up with their running between the wickets too. Butt is also planning to complain to the ICC about what happened at the IPL auction when the ICC has no jurisdiction over the league. Why do these guys chop off their toes before shooting themselves in the foot every time? They had the sympathy of a lot of people and now they’re trying their best to put those people off with their petulance.
Sarah, England are going to win the series against Bangladesh even if Cook is the only player in the England team. Relax. Let Strauss take his little break.
.-= Mahek´s last blog ..FICA and the need for a Collective Bargaining Agreement – II =-.
Mahek, I am firmly in the “play your strongest side at all times” camp. I could waffle on here at length as to why I think Strauss should go to Bangladesh (smacks of complacency, disrespectful to the hosts etc etc) but I’m desperate to get back to WFBJ and can’t be bothered! Suffice it to say that this tour of Bangladesh, while it ought to be a reasonably comfortable series win for England, has potential banana skin written all over it.
.-= SarahCanterbury´s last blog ..Direct Graham Manou =-.
Strauss or no Strauss, you Poms need to have more faith in your team!
While I would like to agree with you on the theory of playing your strongest side at all times, there are times when exceptions need to be made. Not that I think this is one of those times, since Strauss is going to be home during the IPL and the ICC World Twenty20 and I think that’s a pretty long break. That said, it’s better to play a guy who wants to play than one whose mind is set on taking a break. Strauss doesn’t strike me as the kind of player who would wimp out of a series because he’s lazy. If you go back a few months, Collingwood asked for some rest during that boring series against Australia and has come back a much better player in all forms of the game. When you’re sure of a player’s commitment to the game it’s okay to let them have the odd break because you know they’re asking for one for the right reasons.
PS: What’s WFBJ?
.-= Mahek´s last blog ..FICA and the need for a Collective Bargaining Agreement – II =-.
Butt is a joke, whether it be on issues of cricket on the pitch or administration and diplomatic issues off it.
His handling of the Younis/Afridi captaincy argument was awful.
Look at the way he handled the aftermath of the Lahore attacks, with his verbal attack on Chris Broad (who was backed up by SImon Taufel and Simon Davis, Butt was a disgrace in my opinion.
An example of how ‘out of touch with reality’ he is came shortly after the incident, when a week or two later he claimed international teams would be touring Pakistan again in 6 to 9 months!!
He is an embarressment to Pakistani cricket, the man hasn’t a clue.
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Willing Fotographers Blow Job
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You are probably right, Mahek. I think pessimism is ingrained in many Brits – it’s an strategy honed to protect ourselves from the many disappointments we’ve had to endure over the years!
I do agree with much of what you say but still think Strauss should go. I appreciate I’ve never been in his situation but can he really be that tired? How can someone who only plays about 80-90 days cricket a year need a rest? Poor soul. There are other reasons too but this is a bit off topic and When Freddie Became Jesus really is calling to me! (I guess that answers your question!).
.-= SarahCanterbury´s last blog ..Direct Graham Manou =-.
This makes me so very sad. The Pakistani situation never fails to make my frontal lobes throb, and I say this as someone who desperately wants Pakistan to do better because they’re a genuinely talented and likeable team.
“There’s no no incentive for Mohammed Yousuf to play like a leader should, and there’s equally little incentive for his team to follow him.”
5,325th verse, same as the first. Younis approached captaincy positively, accepted when his team had performed poorly while still backing them to do better and praising what they *had* achieved, and what did he get for it? Baseless accusations, hectoring, hounding, just like his predecessors – I mean, that Samsung ‘Friendship’ Series in ’04* could not have been more of a miraculous success, and still all anyone wanted to ask Inzamam was whether his team had fixed the matches, because…wait for it, they lost a few. He deserved better. So did Younis, and so does Yousuf, and so does the team that have to try and play through all this BS. They always have, and they’ll never get it. Because the administration, and the entire damn mindset, is fucked six ways from Sunday. Ijaz Butt is a blustering fathead, but he’s hardly the only one.
As for the whole Strauss thing, I’m with Sarah. There’s no way he’s overworked to the point of needing a rest righthisveryminute. (He doesn’t even bowl!) And it’s an absolute slap in the face to Bangladesh, who at the very least deserve to face the best team their opposition can put together, instead of being constantly patronized. And what happened to helping the minnow teams get better by arranging for them to play (supposedly) high-level opponents? Piss-poor showing.
*on that subject, if you haven’t read it, check out Rahul Bhattacharya’s ‘Pundits from Pakistan: On Tour with India 2003-04′ which is about that series and is a really excellent book.
Bangladesh should try and win a couple of tests against some top-rated teams when they are not playing full capacity. That’ll earn them a bit more respect and stronger teams would want to play them. You cannot play 62 test matches, lose 53 of them, and demand to be taken seriously.
I didn’t know Butt has sacked Yousuf. (This is the first time I actually got a new piece of information from this site). That’s sad. Are they calling Younis back? That’d be surprising, given Younis walked away from captaincy a while ago. Might not be such a bad idea to ask Afridi to take over in all three formats. But they should make him play tests first!
If that gator tracker is to be believed cricketers cover as much as 10 kilometres in the field every day. That’s not a mean feat even if you consider they’re ambling or walking for the most part. Add to that being away from home for prolonged periods, living out of a suitcase. It’s not like Strauss is taking a break and whoring himself to other teams. You see a lot of cricketers sit out for months and get fit for the IPL. Jacob Oram and Lasith Malinga seem to have perfected that routine.
.-= Mahek´s last blog ..FICA and the need for a Collective Bargaining Agreement – II =-.
If i remember I cry from the roof top just couple of month after that Butt The Clown was made PCB chairman that please get rid of him or kill him but well that didn’t help and after that nothing has happened positive not even a single series.
Why was he made chairman at first place? Well a country whose President is the one who fucked it up and had a biggest corruption scandle in country histroy what else you expect and above all that you are related to him and his favors and he has the Authority to point you a chairman, who can stop you.
I don’t know when we going to get rid of these? and for your information he and his team also had almost destroyed the local cricket. Thank you very much Butt (the butt).
.-= Reverse Swing´s last blog ..Australia v Pakistan ODI 2010 – Pakistan Squad Preview =-.
Brad hodge scored only 9 runs. Does he still with KKR? Did they kick him out yet?.
http://www.cricinfo.com/ausdomestic-09/engine/current/match/417717.html
A big thank you to the skiver for saying arse not ass. Call me pedantic but it shits me that jrod says ass.
Oi lay off Boom Boom he wasn’t that bad, he did set the fields and Captain the side!
48 off 26 balls, how’s that bad?
And Cam White was in a power play in the last 5 overs of the game.
@mahek – if you set the expectations really low, you always exceed them. plus the english are not very good travellers especially the subcontinent. dodgy prawns being more of a concern than dodgy wickets.
what i admire about the english fans is their spirit. losing the ashes for a decade and half has fortified their emotional state and therefore they don’t swing to the extremes of joy / despair as india / pakistani fans.
Butt’s the proto-type sub-continental adminstrator. Check out Indian hockey for clones.
@jrod – i hate to state the obvious….comeon this is the pcb after all. this is the organisation that makes the bcci hacks look competent.
not that it absolves butt in anyway but even yousuf knew he was going to be fired. and he most likely lost the team when he started publicly berating them in kiwiland.
@jogesh99 – all govt run organisations dissolve to that state. ditto indian hockey.
@lareina – have read the book. i remember that was the series that sort of really woke me up to lord virender. the book was the first insight into veeru’s way of thinking (or lack thereof) when it came to batting. before i used to think he was a poor man’s tendulkar. now i have learned the error of my ways.
I have the Rahul Bhattacharya book. It is really good. Especially his writing on Shoaib and Laxman. Anybody with the slightest interest in cricket and who wants to know how it is done in the subcontinent should reads it (i.e. after a certain book chalking the journey of Freddie becoming Jesus…provided it is available at your place:))
Butt seems to think out of his, well, butt. Of all the inept administrators of sport bodies in the subcontinent, he seems to have carved out a special place for himself.
Considering the way, Bangla boys are batting right now, especially the Idd ka chaand Ashraful, even Salisbury could get a fiver. Forget Cook, even the Under 19 captain would get the job done. So much talent, so fuckall application.
Not that Giles Clarke is far behind.
When is the earliest I qualify to be selected in BDesh Test side? I wont fish outside off, god promise!
coinbox.
@yawn – heck the way things are going right about now, you could well qualify to play for pakistan.
@muppet arms.
Yes re the arse v ass thing. Jrod, please take note.
As for as being disrespectful to the Bangladeshis go… They tour NZ in a couple of weeks. For about 15 days. One test, and it’s in Hamilton, and it starts on a Monday.
Not happy about that at all.
.-= Leg Break´s last blog ..HRV Mid-Season Report. =-.
@leg break and muppet arms – are you sure Jrod isn’t talking about a donkey when he uses the term “ass”?
Anyway, yes – pretty crap timing on the announcement of Yousuf’s removal as captain. It’s true he played a lot better before stepping up, but give the guy a chance. I know I’m biased and all, but Australia in Australia is always a tough tour.
.-= Dustbinner´s last blog ..Things that happened while I was asleep … =-.
ass
Kamran Abbasi has an ambitious Facebook Group called A Million People to Save Pakistan Cricket with the sole purpose of overhauling the PCB. They are about 995K short so if you haven’t already get over there and join the group.
http://www.facebook.com/home.php#/group.php?gid=259790959154&ref=nf
.-= Nesta´s last blog ..Australia v Pakistan 2nd ODI: Observations =-.
Nesta, I’ve joined, but it is VERY ambitious.
Arse doesn’t sound demeaning at all. Sounds like some pompous British ass trying to abuse someone and not doing too good a job.
.-= Mahek´s last blog ..FICA and the need for a Collective Bargaining Agreement – II =-.
Maybe it’s time to head-butt the butt-head.
I’ve taken Uncle J to task for the ass/arse thing before, I’m afraid it’s a lost cause. If I recall correctly he came up with a reasonable explanation of sorts and after all, it’s his blog and he can take his bat and ball home if we dont’ like it.
I just think it’s further evidence of the youngsters of Australia turning into seppos, slowly but surely. My grandad used to say the same thing about us when he noticed our cultural proclivities for the philosophies of the brady bunch, hogans heroes and gilligans island.
I think my argument was that calling someone an ‘ass’ (donkey horse morph) has a subte difference in insult level to calling them an arse (thing you poo through) and it’s good to have both in your holster. Uncle J does not concur but I think mostly he likes to stir.
Butt is a useless, flab-ridden hack, without even the decency to be an elected one. But he’s little more than a particularly nauseating symptom of a much deeper problem. Like Lareina said, the mentality is fucked. And the mentality is endemic in the administrator pool.
The PCB and all the local cricket bodies need some serious reform. (With a bulldozer, perhaps.)
Somebody wake Imran Khan up from his messianic delusions and point him back towards cricket. This is one corner of the cesspool he could actually fix. (Riding a bulldozer.)
(Which would probably sink in the cesspool, as a symbol of failed hopes and inadvisably mixed metaphors.)
I’m all for England sending a depleted side to Bangladesh. If anything, it should be weaker still. Then if the ‘deshis win, everyone can spout the usual Very Encouraging Signs BS, Strauss and co. avoid the stigma, mental trauma and food poisoning, and the English administrators look foolish.
What’s not to like about all that?
I know I’ve got to let the arse/ass thing go but I had a couple of beers the other night and I’m afraid it was a case of drunken blogging. I’m sorry Jrod, it’s your site and I promise to respect your authority.
I lust like my arse better than your ass.
I have explained this before, a teacher once called me stupid for using ass and not arse in my graffiti. He was a cuntox, and I use ass in his honour.
Why is it India and Sri Lanka seem to play Bangladesh twice a year and no-one else ever gets a shot at steamrolling them?
That is a pretty bloody good explanation. I now feel like your cuntox teacher and I apologise.
@jamie64,
Including the on-going test between Bangladesh and India, they have played each other a total of 6 times since Bangladesh was granted test status, and every single match was in B’desh.
So yeah, twice a year makes a whole lot of sense.
Jrod;
Re your cuntox teacher. Get over it.
I bet your wife knows how to spell arse.
.-= Leg Break´s last blog ..HRV Mid-Season Report. =-.
The PCB Chairman is the biggest Bird Brain I have ever seen. He is the Brother-in-law of the Defense Minister Ahmad Sadiq and He was in the Governing board of PCB for a long time. When he appeared on the most famous Sports TV show on GEO SUPER about a year ago he lost his tamper and this has happened everytime he is asked straight forward questions. This clearly shows he is not the man for this job.
Unfortunately Pakistan is going through the worst of times and having this Asshole as PCB chief shows the current state of Mind of those running the affairs of the country. If IPL does not want Pak players its not the end of the world.
I am confident the we will get rid of BUTT very soon along with his team like Mr. Bari and Zakir. I hope Mr. Butt drops dead soon or He is kicked out which will happen very soon and than things would be different.
Our U19 boys have made to the Final and if they win it will give us some thing to lookforward last but not the least OPINION IS A ASSHOLE AND EVERYONE HAS GOT ONE. Cheers
Meanwhile in Banglaland:
Harbhajan has been reprimanded by the match referee for kicking and damaging an advertising hoarding after a misfield.
I suddenly like him – was it a Ponting ad for sticky palms?
And sachin having a feast against school boys. Who said he is great? Delusional fools. :D
on the indian batsmen feasting on the toygers…
SEHWAG:
I’m known for running my mouth,
I will not be accountable for what comes out.
I dunno, I might have said it,
I was kinda gone and light-headed.
And my daredevil shirt kinda fresh, bright red
And as usual, my bat has them molested.
It seem like everybody scores fast now,
And I just want my credit.
Don’t get it, twist it, or dread it,
I am the king and will not be headed
To the bench, brethren.
Being dropped made my head hurt.
So I need the hundreds or an Excedrin,
That’ll only get my innings revving.
While y’all on 10, I’m on 111.
What you think? Way more runs?
I can never be too big for my tons
Y’all motherfuckers know who this is?
Yes I’m gifted.
DRAVID:
An innings ends, I’ve got my runs.
Whatever comes, I play it down,
So knock me out and shoot me down,
With bat in hand, the wall will stand against the test of time.
SACHIN:
You don’t know my mind,
Like I said a thousand times,
I gotta stay ahead.
Know what I’m fighting for?
I’ll leave you to your talk,
Never seen my kind before.
And you’re all so thick-headed.
Part of me won’t let me quit,
Won’t let me just not say shit.
So much is there to be bored with,
Can’t be still, I can’t afford it.
So I dream it and build it all,
Make hay while ponting falls.
…with apologies to Kanye West / Santigold / Lykke Li to the tune of NASA – Gifted.
Sachin can’t be blamed for making runs… he scores against everyone else and he’s allowed to score against Bangladesh too!
.-= Rishabh´s last blog ..IPL 3 – Transfers – You read it here! =-.
Every time Sachin scores a run, little alex cuts himself. I’ll savor every run knowing that little alex is dying a little inside. Give me the warm and fuzzies.
GFY little alex!!
btw, who is the new pakistan captain? kamran akmal?!
They’re going to try playing without one in an attempt to be more purposeful.
On a more serious note, Butt has completely denied saying what he said.
My puppets/Slaves are back!. Hurrray!. :D
Sachin broke his shoulder?. Hope it breaks his backs , legs and he can take a rest against steyn & co knowing his average go down against styn , he will call it injury time.
Sachin is a little weasal!. if he plays hopy steyn breaks gis monkey face. Hahaha. :D
Me die no ..me do not exist. :D