Occasionally at the balls we get given a post written by cricketers or officials. We posted a few of them a while back under the name of the omitted. Since then we have received heaps more, but in general they are either something that will get us sued, or weird. But of recent times we have have received one, and as it appears to be a letter, we thought it would be rude not to share it with Mr Waugh. Obviously, we will never reveal the name of the person who wrote this.
Dear Mark Waugh,
Please stop all this Steve Smith dribble.
Yes, the boy has some ability.
Yes, he has cleared the boundary in a few big bash and One day games.
Yes, he turns his leg break and warney reckons he ok.
Yes, he looks like the retarded 12 year old love child of a seminal mix from Cameron “downsyndrome” White and his fat NSW team mate with the same surname.
Yes, he has only taken 11 wickets at 75 and made 1 hundred in first class cricket… oh, whoops… not sure if you knew that one. You tool.
But I do see some reasoning behind your push to see this pubescent Sydney-sider in a baggy green. There is after all only 6 blue-baggers in the current Australian test side, 7 if you count Ponting, which you should because his wife refuses to grant him permission to visit the Apple isle for anything paying less than a test match.
This number of players from New South Wales is clearly nowhere near enough, is it, Mark. As we all know the blues have been the benchmark of the competition for the last few years. Get some more of them in there please Andrew Hilditch. Oh… that’s right, you’ve tried to. Lets revisit a few of these:
Phil Hughes – Fair enough the kid can play, but it is a statistical fact that he has never scored a run on the leg side. EVER! Its true. Look it up. He also still has stains in his dacks form the last bloke who decided to bump him at more than 140km/h.
Phil Jaques – Scored a few runs at test level, and probably deserves another crack, but no one wants to watch the fucker bat. He is uglier than Kim Clijsters. And he throws like a 60-year-old woman.
Beau Casson – good tour of the west indies but seems to have forgotten how to bowl. Did do himself the honour of no-balling himself out of the game by bowling too many full bungers on one occasion though.
Burt Cockley – Please… even Big burt was offended with his call-up. Bowls a mean half-volley.
So Junior, please do us a favour and stop pumping up yet another NSW player. In-fact, you could go one step further, and after brushing, rinse your mouth out with undiluted Sulfuric acid. This will help to endear you to the thousands of viewers that have had the displeasure of hearing your dribble.
You are in fact a cunt.
Even your butt-ugly 65 year-old missus dumped you.
Yours truly
The Omitted
There must be a promising 3rd grade leggie somewhere in Sydney who’s close to a national call up.
Before the start of the summer I did predict on this site that we’d get the ‘Steve Smith must play’ comments at this point of the season.
My prediction was based on the assumption that he would at least take some wickets over the summer.
Seems that making such an assumption for a Blues player to be eligible for selection for Australia is invalid.
We’re the team everyone loves to hate from the country everyone loves to hate.
Anyone noticed that none of the selectors are from NSW. This in itself is a clear bias and I think the selection method should be changed to state selectors picking the best 2 players from their state. Hence no need for national selectors. This would clearly be an unbiased methiod of picking squads.
I thought indian selection system was bad….aussies started complaining about selection now?. may be NSW players are better? or everyone just average …just lottery. :D
Atleast no one picking their sons, brothers..cousins..nephew .like in india
Hah! Loved the You are in fact a cunt part!
Muffin, too, was playing for the 2nd XI when he was picked, so I suppose you could find another ‘un there!
.-= Cricket Tragic´s last blog ..Jrod is just plain insane! =-.
I’m guessing T.Omitted saw Inside Cricket, too.
PS: Kim Clijsters? You mean Princess Fiona?
.-= Tony´s last blog ..CHUG-A-PLUG =-.
haha.. right!!
.-= Mock Wah´s last blog ..SOLD OUT!!! =-.
I find Kim Clijsters quite attractive, in a mumsy sort of way. Just saying.
Mark Waugh is still. a cunt though
I thought he organized a touring group to watch all Aus away series… why is he back into cricket administration?
coinbox.
Surprise, surprise.. no alex-shit in this thread!
My first girlfriend had a major crush on Mark Waugh :) True fact.
coinbox.
My missus just wants to boof MJ, no matter how many times i point out to her that he’s very wayward in direction and often doesn’t live up to the hype…
He does swing it both ways though.