cricket with balls

For a few moments during the lead up to the bullring test the English team went about planning a stunning win at the Wanderers to cement their series win in epic style.

It involved radical tactics, a run rate of 5, two leg slips, Andrew Strauss bowling leg spin, and KP actually making runs.

Then they got serious and started talking about how to draw.

Their dream scenario was for Graham Onions to secure a 9 wicket draw, Onions now considers himself a batsman, perhaps because his bowling average is getting higher, and thought that a 9 wicket draw was a good idea.

You can’t even bet on a 9 wicket draw on most cricket online betting places.

So the plan is simple for England, work yourself into a position you can’t win from, and then save the game at the last minute.

Thus winning the hearts and trophy all in one go.

If this were the IPL England would probably try and draft Fidel Edwards in for just such an assignment.

Instead they will have to do the job with (or without if the rumours are true) their 9 wicket man Onions and the regulars.

Paul Collingwood was born during on May 26, 1976 when magically the English football (soccer) and cricket teams both drew at the exact time he was nudged out of his mother’s womb.

Andrew Strauss has the hair cut of a man who thinks a draw is as good as a win.

Alastair Cook is built for comfort and not for speed.

And Jimmy Anderson modelled his batting style on a coma patient he visited once.

It is an all star draw team.

Even Ian Bell now gets down and dirty covering his once naked oiled body with a male mudpack he saw advertised in Men’s Health.

So there is no chance England can go for a win, it would only ruin their best chance of claiming the series.