cricket with balls

Let us imagine you are a baby-eating dog-killing nun-raping dude or dudette who gets caught with the brains of your victims in the fridge by an off duty police officer.

The trial is clear cut, and your defence tries its best, but brains in the fridge is not easily explained.

In normal life you’d be a goner.

But you live in a magical cricket world.

And thankfully you can review your sentence.

You choose a good day, as Daryl Harper is reviewing murders.  He takes a look at the evidence, which he finds unconvincing. Then he looks at your motive, which he dismisses. Finally he looks at the judge and jury’s verdict, and makes his decision.

Daryl decides that if he was in the jury he wouldn’t have found you guilty, and he over turns the decision.

You are happy, you feel vindicated and go back to your baby-eating dog-killing nun-raping times, and hope that if you get caught again Daryl will be in the review seat.

Daryl Harper’s decision gets a lot of media attention, but nothing happens.

And the next week a murderer is found not guilty due to the lack of any evidence or motive. Daryl finds her guilty.

That gets a lot of attention too, but nothing happens.

Buy my book, get a t-shirt, or donate to the whisky fund.