This is is, the award to end all awards.
Inspired by a cricketer so much better than any modern day cricketers he could spin down on them, and wait 25 minutes for the splash.
I talk of the one and only Neil Harvey.
Without further delay, here is the list of nominees:
Shane Watson
Claimed his Boy Band scream was because Chris goaded him. Tried to end Brett Lee’s career with statements. Stalked Phil Hughes’ spot in the media. Wonderfully easy to hate.
Graeme Swann
Became test cricket’s greatest tweeter. Bagged Jimmy’s monobrow, called Tim Bresnan thick, and never failed to give good quote. Walks around with a trail of 15 English journalists following him. Love the chin or hate the chin, he cares not.
Sreesanth
Managed to make more press statements than bowl balls. Best strike rate ever.
Shoaib
Genital warts.
Chris Gayle
I don’t like test cricket. I don’t like the Australian team. I don’t like the media. I do like hitting the ball a long way.
And the winner for the 2009 Neil award is…
-
-
-
I cannot believe this.
-
-
-
-
-
The tension is thicker than cake, and harder to cut than a foreskin.
-
-
-
There are similarities to last year.
-
-
-
-
-
That is right, it is.
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
Another finger spinner, step forward the second ever winner of the Neil award….
-
-
-
-
Graeme “the chin” Swann.
-
This year Swann became a proper test cricketer, but who cares, he gives quote like an 80s cock rock lead singer. Talks shit, seems completely uninterested in what people think of him, and
-
Well done Swanny, and well done to all the winners.
-
Thanks to you all for reading, commenting, subscribing, buying my book, wearing the t-shirts, donating to my well being, or just sending me an angry email.
In the words of one of our greatest fans, “Cwb is pure unadulterated trash. Thanks but no thanks”.
Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Thank you for entertaining all cricket fans with your humor!.
Only thing we need in 2010 is sehwag makes 400 runs in an inning and appear in cricketwithballs interview. Ha.
:D
$%#@ you alex, $%#@ you…
Truly deserved!! Although I think Shoaib ran him close seeing that he also managed to pull of that quite extraordinary trick of becoming the first active cricketer to have a liposuction. I may be wrong of course as usual but I shudder to think that Dwayne Leverock has already had a liposuction and still manages to appear so rotund.
“cricketers use protection when playing the game to play it safe.it is the same in life too..”lord sehwag’s message on aids day 2009
Jesus Christ, Jrod – don’t encourage Swanny, please.
.-= Dustbinner´s last blog ..The Worst of 2009 =-.
He certainly has SA’s measure and his twitter is gay.
Great shite jrod! But Swann???
To those who think Swanny was an odd choice, Bhaji won it last year.
But the biggest (pleasant?) surprise of the decade was sydney playing jai ho amidst fireworks.. wtf!
Happy New Year :)
coinbox.
jrod: you are on the front page of cricinfo. You may know/not be interested/be blasé about it, but I was impressed:
“No rude gestures, no trust, no sweat, advises Jarrod Kimber in his guide to the UDRS”
.-= Rob´s last blog ..2009, a mixed year for England =-.
Rob, It is my third time, I think, but this was an average article at best so I can’t get too excited on this one, they kept telling me to make it longer, and the funny suffered. The bloody batsmen one was better.
Jogesh, perhaps, although I do love eating, drinking and sleeping in a house, so until I can do that without cricinfo, I think I’ll stay there.
Alex, I’d be happy with 0.01%.
Cricket Tragic, click on the link to chinaman’s page, I have no idea how he does any of it.
Get off cricinfo Jrod, its a fag site, run by the brits and their clerks, the tambrahms.
Funny Stuff!. i like that mid-on is slow , mid off does n’t care. Bowlers thinking on how his fielders doing..
Jrod needs to be exposed all indian cricket fans so if 1% of indian cricket fans buy his book , he can close this site and retire in barbados. :D
if Jrod write about sachin tendulkar , he probably will be rich by now. He wrote about rahul dravid , it upset hardcore sachin fans. Hahaha. I thought it was funny that people come to this site and curse.
Sachin fans are clueless …tubelights. :D
May be next article should be on MODI. He made cricketers rich with IPL. And made people read blogs and talk cricket all day. He is struggling now with his position. He lost his election in rajastan.
N Srinivasan out to take him out because Modi criticized Srinivasan move to remove that IMG.
Srinivasan is jealous of Modi’s popularity.
Now Modi needs support to keep his IPL job , he went to his mortal enemy number 1 Dalmiya for support in any case.
May be Jrod can say How Modi can keep his IPL job. The problem though , cricinfo people has close connection with N. Srinivasan so they may not like any thing bad on N Srinivasan.
if any other clown replace modi , they will mess up IPL so much they may have to close IPL down.
Jrod, Modi needs your support!. :D.
YES!
I am unashamedly a Graeme Swann fan, and to see him win an award on CWB (despite it being named after Neil Harvey) makes me as happy as watching Ricky Ponting get out for a golden duck. Ok, maybe not THAT happy. But happy enough, anyway.
.-= The MG´s last blog ..JHK’s Off Stump: In Memorium =-.
$%#@ you alex, and $%#@ your incoherent BS …
I do like alex’s suggestion that 1% of Indians buy the book.
I’ve always fancied Barbados.
JRod, could you possibly drop in an e-mail telling me how you transferred your Feed Readers from your Blogger blog to this WordPress blog?
.-= Cricket Tragic´s last blog ..Yousuf’s being a super-prick! =-.
i think this bit of douche deserves some sort of award.
I am incoherent all the time. That is part of fun…just babbling what ever. brain fart. :D
i am bonafide sachin hater but jrod can write about sachin on anything except winning which is not sachin forte. No one is perfect. Except God(crazy) sehwag.
There is only two funny guys in cricinfo. So it is not that crowded.
Welcome to India, land of a million Alexs.
Waiting anxiously for a similar list on cricketers of the decade!
coinbox.
Jrod, it always starts with a singe puff! Before you know it, you’ll be pontificating on frikkin BBC’s frikkin Test Match Special with those frikkin inbreds.
Desis, buy his damn book I say, and save our beloved Jrod from being culturally and aesthetically neutered.
lol! desis for honorary citizenship and doctrate to respectable sir jrod ;) or wud he rather trade those honors for more sale of his books?
coinbox.
I think jrod is the only Aussie after Steve Waugh who might find a lot of fans in India.
coinbox.
$%#@ you alex, and $%#@ your mistaken idea that you are funny
Yawn, Jrod’s got a sense of humour – waugh was just a sullen little aussie shit even when he won, which was often enough for even him to have lightened up. As for the white man’s burden crap he’s into post-retirement, the less said the better.
But yeah, Jrod surely deserves an honorary doctorate for liberating cricket writing from probotic cricinfo.
Not all indians know CWB yet , i just mention cricketwithballs.com every time i make comment on cricinfo. Hahaha. :D
Ian Chappell calling Sehwag new bradman to outwit jrod for Indian cricket fan support. It was targetted article to keep indian cricket fans in jovial happy mood.
Aussies see who is good , Indians can’t see who is good , they still think sachin the chokedulkar is great, i think it is because media hype stats more than winning the game or trying to win.
This is same as lazy Indian cricket fielders like ganguly if he can’t catch tough catch by running to it or field. They slow down such a way that it do not look like dropped catch or misfield. They may be right in that no one appreciate Triers. Too risky to get slammed by media as well as team.
Samething with try to go for a win and lose , you get slammed. So sachin and gavaskar always played for draw at best situation and improve their stats.
I can see , all aussie see and most can see except sachin fans that sachin play for his stats at the expense of india’s win. Every opposition look at indian team , that will be one of the factor in that who play for himself and how they can attack him.
$%#@ you alex, and $%#@ your dumbass theories
Timothy, Alex is simply lyrical when it comes to Tendulkar – and from an Indian, so refreshing!
Timothy is my pet. :D
$%#@ you alex, and $%#@ your delusions
@jogesh99: Lyrical? I would categorize his posts as stream-of-consciousness literature with a demented character having Tendulkar as his muse.
come here pet ..come closer….:D
Sachin is useless!. Over hyped stats and clueless sachin fans.
Sacin is worthless cricketer. Hope he break his leg, So india can win the 2011 world cup. :D
$%#@ you alex, and $%#@ your puny understanding.
You don’t get it, do you? I don’t give a $%#@ whether Tendulkar is in the team or not. My beef is with your retarded way of expressing yourself and your weirdass logic.
$%#@ you alex, and $%#@ your puny understanding.
You don’t get it, do you? I don’t give a $%#@ whether Tendulkar is in the team or not. My beef is with your retarded way of expressing yourself and your weirdass logic.
`Sorry Sanga for posting with your name, mybad
Every one have their own belief. Clear your mind.
Sachin blows. :D
$%#@ you alex, and $%#@ your thick head. I said it earlier, and I say it again – I don’t give a flying $%#@ about your beliefs. I’m just asking that your posts make sense.
It won’t make sense to your brick head. Think. Ask question. All will be revealed.
Answers are in your mind. :D
Making sense and not making sense only with respect to your beliefs . if there is no beliefs you will see things as it is part of the universe billions of possibilities.
Think. Think Think Think :D
$%#@ you alex, and $%#@ your belief that we need to think to understand your verbal diarrhoea.
You see, maybe there is one way to explain what sense means –
If you have a set of monkeys typing for a finite time, it is very very very very very improbable that the result will be meaningful by any common definition. Of course, like you say, we could keep our minds open and say what the monkeys type is one of billions of possibilities which we shouldn’t discard – but the human mind being of a finite capacity, we tend to dismiss such stuff as rubbish.
Hence when we restrict what sense means, we need to do proportionally more effort to stay within that definition. (In information theory, we would call that a measure of negative entropy). You seem to be unwilling to put that effort when you type, so that’s why I say $%#@ you
Hahaha. You are weak!. You learn to pick and choose what you want to read. if you can’t understand , move over . it is easy. A child can do that. hahahaha. :D
Yet so simple but you are so obsessed with what i babble. You can only fix yourself. Understand that.
No amount of curse , abuse will affect me. I am teflon. Hahahaha. Monkeeeeeeeees!.
Sachin fans go jump in your own puke!.