Welcome to the 2nd ever Neils. Cricket with balls own awards ceremony.
Cricket in 2009, what a motherfucker.
Players got shot, and genital warts.
Australia fell further but got lovely white coats, South Africa were briefly on to, but lost by not playing. India took over but bombed out of the world T20 as favourites. Pakistan won a tournament, lost a tournament, and were accused of match fixing. Daniel Vettori took over a country. Bangladesh found a good player and made him captain. The Windies won a test series because of their secret batting weapon Fidel Edwards. The Sri Lankans went to Pakistan, no one else will. The IPL was won by a dog and a overrated blog. The IPL teams then sucked ass in Lalit’s second tournament that NSWales beat the world’s most entertaining cricket side, T&T.
Shane Bond came back, then left. Bryce McGain made his debut. Freddie died, and was reborn. Dilshan invented. Asif came back, and peed clean. Trott became proper English, as did Morgan, but no one cared. Someone tried to take out Chris Broad, but that isn’t easy. Ntini got a fridge. Symonds was shit canned for drinking too much of cricket Australia’s sponsorship. And the Indians started having kinky sex.
2009 was a very important year for CWB, Victoria won the Sheffield Shield, Dirk and Bryce played for Australia, and IOB quit the game. Plus there was the times, Guardian, BBC, NCC and ABC stuff for the site as well. Oh and two books.
So now with all that out the way, we look at the individual awards.
Before the main awards we would just like to list the winners of the minor technical awards.
Best player that no one could spot in a line up: Shakib Al Hasan
Best player that no one could give a fuck about: Tim Paine
Best performance in a game no one is watching: Daniel Vettori
Best imitation cricketer: Nathan Hauritz
Best version of I can’t believe that bloke has a good record: Paul Harris
Best new action: Kamran Khan
Best invisible cricketer: Angelo Mathews
Best hair do: Isuru Udana
Best cartoon: Benn, Johnson and Haddin
Best umpire: Random Rudi
Best jelly bean cricketer: Freddie
Best captain: Brendon McCullum
Best ICL player: Lalit Modi
Up next the first of the major awards.
Best tweeter – Phil Hughes
Best version of I can’t believe that bloke has a good record: Paul Harris
Here is a cricketing mystery, or is it?
Watching him bowl in England in 2008 and in the current South Africa V England series, I kept hearing the commentators say that the English batsmen should get after him and try to hit him out of the attack (the way England normally bat, laughable I know).
From what I saw of him against Australia and from what I read of that series, the ‘lets hit him out of the attack’ policy was enforced there as well.
Up until the last test against England, all that this so called ‘policy’ ever seemed to result in, was more wickets for Paul Harris.
I can only come to the conclusion that he is a limited bowler in terms of ability, but he is a lot more canny than people give him credit for.
He seems to see braindead batsmen coming, he knows they think he is a crap bowler and is there to be taken for easy runs.
He just waits for them to take liberties with his bowling, treat it with no respect, and then ends up out smarting them as they take on one big shot too many to him (mainly Kevin Pietersen).
He seems to be having the last laugh though.
Up until recently he was ranked in the top 10 bowlers in the world. How can this be? His stats seem to back it up, but surely there are 10 bowlers in world cricket better than Paul Harris. 10 spinners even.
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Ha ha ha ha!best hair.?isuru udana…ha ha ha!
What about best comic book hero? Twattoman.
Gawd no one…no frigging one…. can do better hair than isuru udana……and arguably the captain arguably should be Mccullum….no doubt abt it…