News article:
There is now photographic proof that when Don Bradman was bowled in his last test innings for a duck, the bowler had bowled a no ball. The bowler, name not provided, had stepped over the bowling crease line which at that time was a back foot no ball, meaning that Bradman could not have been given out. In the photo, which has been found at an English charity shop, it is obvious that the umpire is not watching the line and is instead looking at Bradman. Had Bradman made four more runs he would have ended with a batting average of 100.
Centennial Park Cemetery, Adelaide.
The cemetery is quiet, no emo kids having sex on graveyards tonight. Then there is a quiet scratching noise in the graveyard. Like a bird gnawing at something inside a tree. The noise continues to get louder and more frenzied. Then a strong old hand breaks the turf on a gravesite. The hand struggles to get any grip, but slowly but surely a corpse makes its way out of the grave. Dressed in a suit and with a green cap on its head.
The old corpse is still well persevered and is quick on its feet; it makes its way to a service station and lines up behind a bunch of loud youths. They get some money out, and then bump into the old corpse, calling him grandpa as they walk past him. They walk away not knowing that he has stolen their wallets.
Then the old corpse tells the service station attendant that the toilet is broken, and when the attendant leaves to fix the toilet, the old corpse slips behind the counter in an unorthodox manner and steals a few grand before disappearing into the night.
ICC headquarters, Dubai.
The old corpse arrives at the reception desk of the ICC. Wearing a new suit, the same green cap, and with a leather briefcase.
“Excuse me young lady, I am here to register a referral.”
“A referral for what?”
“For an umpiring decision.”
“Oh, well sorry, they can only be done on the ground by a batsman or captain.”
“I understand, but at the time I played the referral system was not active, and I would like to register it now. The bowler who got me out had bowled an illegitimate ball so it means I should not given out and my record should be changed. I have a photo and…”
“Sorry, but we can’t do that.”
“Can I speak to whoever is in charge of the ICC?”
“None of them are in Dubai at the moment.”
“Oh, that is annoying. Is there anyhing you can do for me?”
“I’m afraid not, the ICC can not refer decisions from test matches that have ended, you need to refer it within a brief period of time on the field.”
“That is a shame, I came all this way. Never mind, it isn’t your fault. Can I use your bathroom.”
The receptionist shows him where it is. The old corpse does his business and waits for others to leave. He then fiddles in his leather briefcase for a moment, and then leaves it on the ground.
The old corpse gets back into his rental car, and drives away. Behind him is a tremendous explosion. He doesn’t react to it at all and just pushes a CD into the player.
“Who is it that all Australia raves about?
Who has won our very highest praise?
Now is it Amy Johnson, or little Mickey Mouse?
No! it’s just a country lad who’s bringing down the house…”
I turn no legends into zombie terrorists in my book, unfortunately.
I suspect Bradman would not have had the bad grace to question any umpires decision.
.-= Rob´s last blog ..Ian Bell (again) =-.
I would watch this movie.
.-= Rishabh´s last blog ..Sehwag paints the field red =-.
another one is going to made a zombie is dinesh karthik. way to go with hitting a 6 & 4 when sachin needs the runs for a ton.
Think the bowler was called Eric Hollies (correct me if I’m wrong).
There is a stand at Ian Bell’s beloved home ground Edgbaston named after Hollies. (True, but not very interesting)
Bell will be seeing a lot more of this stand in the upcoming summer.
Can only assume the umpire was there to watch Bradman bat.
.-= Cricket Betting Blog´s last blog ..Never thought I’d see the day! =-.
Sorry to put a downer on this, but no-balls can’t be referred.
Maybe he should have had a word with Shep first to clarify the law and saved himself the trip.
.-= Cricket Betting Blog´s last blog ..Never thought I’d see the day! =-.
CBB, true, but you can refer a bowled, and what do they check first? But you can’t come back from the dead, that is true.
This sounds like a prologue to a fantastic zombie cricketer horror comedy.
Let us just say that zombie bradman brings back with him zombie version of past cricketers and they challenge our current emo cricketers to a real cricket match without helmets and other fancy protective gear. Winners getto rule (or infest) the world. I can imagine Malcolm Marshall going medieval on Probot’s head.
.-= Dhananjay Mhatre´s last blog ..Dhaanu: @achettup God of Sehwagology wants us to call Kohli "One other guy". So be it #cricket =-.
The Don back from the dead? I thought the Chappell brothers looked nervous!
@Hewy – Imagine the zombie don entering the commentry box with the Chappell’s doing commentry going on and on about injustices done by former players turned administrators (wink, wink) and say in his quiet voice, “Seems like you have been saying a lot since I was laid in the grave. Now I am out of it.”……
.-= Dhananjay Mhatre´s last blog ..Dhaanu: This season of #BigBoss3 has been really thakela. Plus there is no one to root for this time. =-.
The Axis of Chappell are currently reciting incantations to try to raise Victor Richardson to protect them.
I doubt Victor might be on their side regarding this.
Imagining the chanting going on and Ian out of sheer habit commenting that this is not how it used to be done in the 70s.
.-= Dhananjay Mhatre´s last blog ..Dhaanu: Question to Mr. Modi – Do you have no trust in the Indian players that you go crazy if even tier 2 Aussies do not turn up? #cricket =-.
Reminds me of the story about Bradman in the 1980s when he was asked how he would bat against the great West Indies bowlers of the day. “I’d probably average in the mid-50s,” Bradman said. “Really,” asked the interviewer, “so you think these bowlers would have more chance of getting you out?”
“Well you have to remember that I’m now in my seventies,” Bradman said.
I presume that even death wouldn’t stop Bradman from averaging less than 40, which would make a zombie Bradman more of a safe pick than a living Ian Bell.
.-= Paddy´s last blog ..The longest hole =-.