I wasn’t going to write anything this evening. I wasn’t even going to turn a computer on. I have more important things to worry about, such as:
My wife is out with a girl she has already described as ‘cute’, and I have an overactive imagination;
I’m supposed to be co-writing something with a workaholic, I’ve written jack shit for the last 5 days and I’m worried he might come for me with a sharpened pencil;
My t-shirt drawer needs rearranging, because I’m not sure if my ‘SuperFred’ shirt is still wearable or not.
But then I made the mistake of turning on ESPN Classic and watching ‘Cricinfo’s Top Ten Most Hated Australians’, and it made my blood boil.
I hasten to add that this is not because it featured Cricinfo’s own Andrew Milller, who I feel sorry for because ESPN always contrive to make him seem like he just got off the special bus (I know he hasn’t, because the aforementioned cute girl is one of his friends).
It’s not even because of the presenter, who is one of those instantly dislikable people that you feel obliged to punch at least once per syllable. (I’m not naming him. I object to him having the oxygen of oxygen, let alone that of publicity).
It’s because the entire show was so fucking wrongheaded it wasn’t true. Haydos at number one? Come on! In the imaginations of one or two hacks, maybe, but most England fans couldn’t give a toss about the bible-bashing, barbeque-basting big guy. He was just one more Aussie to get rid of, a little bit obnoxious maybe, but nothing more.
Ditto Merv at number two. Only the truly brain dead saw him as anything other than a comedy villan. He was a decent bowler who had the odd good day, but ultimately was known more for his tache and ability to swear than as a cricketer.
Steve Waugh bored the pants off us, both on and off the pitch. Warne we feared, not hated – we may not have approved of his private life, but we all wanted to see him bowl. And Greg Chappell was lucky to even be in there, given that you seemed to need to have been seen on colour tv to be considered at all.
The real howler, though – the mistake that devalued the entire show – was having Border down at number 9. We hated AB in England, hated him with a passion Warne could only dream off. He was arrogant, obnoxious, a man who frequently seemed to go against the spirit of cricket. You won’t find anyone who laughed harder than I did when he was bowled by Richard Ellison on that glorious August evening in 1985. And yet he could bat you out of a game with ease, even when playing in one of the most talentless Aussie sides in history. God, he was annoying.
The show also lacked some of the other real hate figures from the past. Where was Chappelli? Bradman? Boon, even? If this was supposed to be the ten we hated, I dread to think who they think we might have liked.
Skiver, I want to know more about the woman your wife is out with tonight.
pics or stfu!
I thought Bradman was universally loved by all… :D
Dingdong, is this your first trip the CWB?
Ha, ha, ha. That is so funny, do they really make shows like that?
From an Oz perspective, AB I loved, loved I tell you. Still do with a passion only reserved for the great Michael Holding and Gilly.
Chappelli should be no 1. What an arrogant tosser. But I do read whatever he writes on cricinfo and I can’t say that about too many pundits.
Haven’t seen it but sounds pretty crappy. Merv was hilarious and I always found hayden impressive more than anything.
I find the article more disturbing. I always thought this was an ‘ozzie in england’ blog. what’s with the ‘we feared’ and ‘we hated’? is jrob a closet pom? ;)
Dibbly, Look at the name of the author.
obviously that was a typo, jrod
Dibbly – http://www.cricketwithballs.com/2009/03/20/who-are-you-and-where-do-you-come-from-2/
Leg Break/Pete – Claire Grogan, circa 1982
@Skiver,
Don’t talk to me about love.
I’m an Aussie. I hate AB. How fucken boring was he to watch? And he was cherub-faced little mummy’s boy for the first half of his career.
I hate Chappelli – complete fucking tosser. Remembered as a great captain for the sole reason that he surrounded himself with total assholes and if you didn’t fit in you didn’t get picked. Assholes and morons – Ashley Mallet, I rest my case.
And sorry Jrod, but I love Bradman. He didn’t fit in with the boys … and he didn’t give a fuck about it. My type of man.
And I’d definitely describe Bradman’s wife as cute. Back in the day, of course – especially that photo of her in fur standing next to the covertible they gave him when he got home after the first ashes tour – beautiful, beautiful woman.
People hate him ‘cos he wouldn’t give a fuck what they think, and he really, really didn’t have to.
Ned, Working class boy who thought his shit didn’t stink, you can have him.