All that crap before the series started when the players were standing up and saying what the Ashes meant to them sounds like a really fine way to wind-up inexperienced players not used to the pressure to me.

Well done management there.

England didn’t play well; Australia were just shit, that’s all. That’s what the Poms always say when we thrash them.

Siddle is a total dildo. He got “food poisoning” during the tour of SA, too. How do you manage to get sick on lunch at Lord’s and a meal at the team hotel? Kentucky Fried chicken nuggets from room service? Late night takeway lebo roll? Or did doting Mummy pack all his faves from home in his douche bag for midnight feasts?

Roy should have had a minder for the beer. Siddle probably needs a nanny to control his lolly consumption.