England plan to lose the Ashes

Well not really.

Or do they.

John Buchanan, Ned Flanders or Bhooka Naan to some, is coming over to sort out the English Elite coaching system.

It is not an interesting choice, because it is John Buchanan, but it is interesting timing, less than 10 days out from the Ashes is his start date.

And he is not so much coaching the players, but coaching the coaches.

He has some new rules for this job:

Abolilsh all players from blogging.

Change the rule on how many kolpaks or international players can play (the more the better).

All players to learn how to grow moustaches.

More Queenslanders.

No one is to call Andy Bichel a racist.

Success is sure to follow.

England obviously want to cash in on the Kolkata Knight Rider vibe.

So I think they should go one step further and also get a famous actor to own them.

I have narrowed it down to Ray Winstone, Collin Farrell, and Ross Kemp.

All choices Freddie would approve of.

They will then need to change their kit as well, more bling, less school boy collars.

Do you ever get the feeling the difference between Bennett King and Bhooka Naan was timing, and Warne, McGrath, Gilly, Hayden, Ponting, Martyn, Gillespie and etc.

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0 thoughts on “England plan to lose the Ashes

  1. Alok says:

    Nothing will cheer up the australians at leicester more than knowing that Buchanan is on the other side…

    They’re probably hoping that this commitment becomes full time and long term so that they can get a lock on the Ashes for a generation or two.

  2. Rob says:

    England cannot lose the ashes because they don’t have them…

    Rob’s last blog post..Australia

  3. Q says:

    Do u know what “Bhooka Naan” means besided sounding like John’s 2nd name?

    Literal translation is “Hungry Bread”.

    Go figure!

    Q’s last blog post..Random Pakistan Cricket Fact #2

  4. poopsie says:

    Apparently Craig White does a mean impersonation of Ray Winstone. Will that mean he gets a game?

  5. Winstone or Kemp would both be fine choices. Kemp in particular has enough experience of war zones (outside of east London) that he could be known as the English Sun Tzu.

    Presumably Buchanan will be able to give England a full pre-Ashes run-down on how to beat Hayden, Martyn, Langer, Warne, McGrath, Gilly….

    GoodCricketWicket’s last blog post..ECB turn to Buchanan

  6. I would say that there was some heavy-duty espionage going on here, but the Australians only need to read the small piece of paper somewhere in the vicinity of the dressing room to find everything they are looking for. http://tinyurl.com/m89s7o

    Harris Harrison’s last blog post..Zack Morris And The Art Of War

  7. Likewise Mr.Rod

    Harris Harrison’s last blog post..Meet The Basher

  8. Pete says:

    get a room you two!

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